Marriage is a beautiful gift that two people can give and receive. But it also comes with many lies and misconceptions. From fairy-tale vows to cultural stereotypes, many of us have been taught the wrong things about marriage. Lies about marriage set up unrealistic expectations, undue pressure, and disappointment.
The truth about marriage. It is healthy, lasting, happy, and full of depth when two people are honest, willing to put in effort, and grow with each other. There are a number of things everyone believes, but they aren’t true about marriage.
Let’s bust the 13 biggest lies about marriage that everyone believes.
Top 13 Biggest Lies About Marriage That Everyone Believes
1. “Marriage Will Make You Happy Forever”
One of the biggest lies is that marriage makes you happy for life. The reality is that marriage cannot guarantee happiness.
There will be times when you feel ecstatic and times when you feel miserable. It is a common belief that marriage will ensure you never feel lonely, love-starved, or inadequate again.
Marriage cannot solve all of your problems, but your attitude and perception can. Happiness is not a constant feeling but a decision you make every day.
If you are married, you will have to work harder to sustain it. A successful marriage needs time, effort, compromise, and self-awareness.
Related: 9 Lies People Tell When They’re Unhappy In Marriage
2. If You Love Each Other, Everything Will Work Out
Love is essential but not the only thing needed for a marriage to work. Love must be backed by communication, trust, shared values, and respect.
Good marriages require two people to love each other but also make good choices, solve problems, and commit every day.
Love is like the spark of a match, necessary to start the relationship, but daily actions keep it burning. You can meet the most wonderful person but still be unhappy together if your lifestyles and values are too different. Successful marriages are always a two-way street.
Related: 10 Things High-Value Women Do Differently In Marriage
3. Good Marriages Don’t Have Fights
Some think if you fight, you are not in a good marriage. That is not true at all because every married couple will have arguments. Healthy marriages do not fight more or less than unhealthy ones. It is silence and indifference that harm more than the big blowouts.
Fighting or conflict in itself is not a problem; how couples handle it is what matters. The secret is to learn how to argue, compromise, and find solutions while respecting each other. Healthy conflict in marriage is healthy conflict at all.
4. Marriage Means You Should Be Together 24/7”
This is one of the worst lies and marriage myths about relationships. A spouse does not need to spend every waking hour with you. Marriage does not mean being physically together all the time; it means being emotionally together. Both partners in a strong relationship must have their own independence, space, and time.
Marriage is not for people to become ‘one,’ but two people who fit together well. Independent people with individual interests, friends, and goals make strong marriages. As long as each person has their own life in addition to the relationship, it should work.
Related: 15 Signs You’re In A Loveless Marriage
5. Children Will Strengthen the Marriage
Children are a joy and bring meaning, love, and purpose to a marriage. But they also mean stress, sacrifice, less time for each other, and more responsibilities. Children bring love, but they also bring chaos. Couples believe having a baby will fix all of the marriage’s problems.
While kids can bring new focus and happiness to a marriage, they also double the struggle. A broken marriage does not suddenly become okay because there is a child involved. Children need strong and respectful marriages to flourish, not broken ones.
6. Marriage Should Be Easy If You Married the Right Person
Even the most compatible couple will face challenges and bad times. This lie suggests that if you marry the right person, everything will fall into place. But there will always be struggles in marriage due to stress, change, and conflict.
It is true that some marriages may be easier than others depending on each partner, but none are without problems.
Marriages are a work in progress because people are complicated and life is unpredictable. Marriage is not a passive act, but an active one that needs work.
Related: 11 Things Every Single Woman Should Do Before Marriage
7. Romance Will Always Stay the Same
Romance is easy in the honeymoon phase, the beginning of the marriage. Flowers, dates, surprises, and gifts seem natural and effortless.
Over time, couples get busier, face more demands, and routines take over. Maintaining that level of romance and passion becomes a conscious effort.
The good news is that romance doesn’t have to end when the marriage begins. It just means being intentional and creative about finding ways to woo each other, keep things fresh, and maintain intimacy.
8. Marriage Will Fix Loneliness
Loneliness is not physical, and being married will not change the feeling of being alone in a crowd. You can still feel lonely in marriage if you lack communication, empathy, and intimacy. Real companionship is built when couples connect on a deep level, not just a physical one.
Marriage means finding the right partner with whom you are compatible and have similar values. Find a partner who truly understands you, and you won’t feel lonely.
9. Marriage Means Losing Your Freedom
Many believe that getting married means giving up your independence. A spouse controls your life, and you have no freedom. The truth is that marriage should free you and make you stronger, not weaker.
Marriage does not mean giving up who you are; it means building something new together. A marriage is a partnership where both people are responsible for their happiness and respect each other.
Related: 10 Signs Your Marriage is Draining Your Mental Health
10. Happy Couples Don’t Need Therapy
Therapy is overemphasized and can fix any issues in your marriage. This is a lie that most people fall into because of the stigma attached to it. The notion that therapy is only for the “broken” people. It is the truth that counseling is for every married person.
Therapy can help couples learn how to communicate better, solve conflicts, and have deeper intimacy. Couples who view counseling as an ongoing maintenance tool are much stronger.
11. Your Partner Should Complete You
Movies have conditioned us to think that marriage completes us and makes us whole. The truth is that a spouse can never complete you. Marriage works best when two independent, self-aware individuals choose to grow and evolve together.
Marriage should not be based on the expectation that your partner will fulfill your needs. You have to be whole before marriage and not depend on your spouse for your identity.
Related: What Is Emotional Abandonment In Marriage
12. Marriage Means Sacrificing Your Dreams
It’s a common myth about marriage that to make a relationship work, you have to give up your dreams. Some people stay in dead-end jobs and live in houses they hate just to make their spouse happy. The truth is that if you are in a real partnership, you encourage each other to reach your goals.
Supportive spouses are those who cheer each other on, not those who become jealous or resentful of success. Work as a team to help each other achieve your dreams, not crush them.
13. Divorce Means the Marriage Was a Failure
Divorce is considered an admission of defeat by many. But divorce does not necessarily mean that you or the marriage failed. The truth is that there are some marriages that must be ended.
Sometimes marriages do not work for reasons beyond anyone’s control. Marriages end when people change, are abused, or their needs are not met. Walking away from an unhappy relationship may be a brave decision and not a sign of failure.
Breaking the Lies of Marriage
The most effective way to deal with the lies about marriage is to break them and replace them with healthy truths. Try out these:
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Communicate more and better.
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Maintain your individuality.
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Keep learning through books, workshops, and counseling.
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Find new ways to romance each other.
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Remain flexible and grow with your partner.
Final Thoughts
Marriage is one of the most powerful gifts people can give and receive. But it is not about living up to cultural expectations or fairy tales. It is about building a life with the person you genuinely love and with whom you can find true intimacy.
Break the 13 biggest lies everyone believes about marriage and focus on building a real and lasting intimacy in your marriage.
Couples should remember that a healthy marriage is not perfect; it’s real. It is showing up and being present for each other through both the joy and the challenge, and choosing each other every day.
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