Being with a married man can be a tumultuous and emotionally difficult experience. When a man who is already married to someone else says he loves you, it can be confusing, distressing, and challenging to know how to respond.
It may lead to a rollercoaster of love, confusion, guilt, frustration, and the possibility of hope for a future together. However, it is essential to take a step back and consider the situation before making any decisions about how to proceed.
Love can blind us sometimes, so it’s important to approach the relationship with a clear head and prioritize your well-being. Here are seven crucial considerations to mull over if you’re with a married man who professes his love for you.
“He Has A Wife But Says He Loves Me” 7 Things To Consider
1. Consider the Emotional Impact on You
One of the most important factors to consider when being with a married man is how the situation makes you feel.
It can be emotionally taxing and cause you to feel like you’re living in the shadows, fighting insecurity, doubt, or guilt. In the long term, being in a relationship with a married person can have a significant emotional toll on you, affecting your mental health and self-esteem.
Why It Happens:
The emotional rollercoaster that comes with being with a married man is, unfortunately, unavoidable. When someone is committed to someone else, the relationship is either built on secrecy or insecurity, and the inherent guilt he will likely feel can create an emotionally tumultuous situation for both of you.
What to Do:
Reflect on the current situation and consider how it is impacting your emotional well-being. Are you always anxious, on edge, and constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop?
Are you giving up your happiness for a relationship that doesn’t provide you with the emotional support you need? By being honest with yourself, you will be better placed to make a decision.
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2. Is He Honest About His Intentions?
One of the most important things in a relationship is clarity. So, if he says he loves you but is still married, his intentions need to be brought into question.
Does he plan on leaving his wife and being with you in the future? Is he in the relationship simply because it’s convenient or to escape a difficult situation? Love can make us ignore important signs and focus on words that make us feel good, but the truth of the situation can sometimes be very different.
Why It Happens:
Married men may profess their love for their mistresses for various reasons, both genuine and less so. The person he is married to is probably not the woman he fantasizes about every night.
Therefore, he might take out his frustration or need for validation on you and his wife. It can be difficult to gauge whether he is being truthful or has ulterior motives.
What to Do:
Have an honest conversation with him about what he wants and what his future plans are. Ask him whether he would leave his wife for you, how he envisions the future, and whether he’s willing to make the necessary changes.
In addition, pay attention to what he does rather than what he says. If he truly loves you, he’ll be open and honest about his intentions and make a solid effort to change.
3. Is He Willing to Make Real Changes?
If he truly loves you, it should be reflected in his actions, including a willingness to make necessary changes. Is he making any real effort to change things, such as leaving his wife or making the relationship with you official? Or is he merely saying the things you want to hear to placate you without making any changes? If the latter is true, it may be time to step back and reassess the situation.
Why It Happens:
Emotionally attached married men may sometimes not take concrete action to change their situation, no matter what they say.
Leaving a marriage is a big decision that can be emotionally and logistically difficult. It’s a complicated process that involves finances, family, and lifestyle. As such, even if he says he loves you, he may be unwilling or unable to make necessary changes.
What to Do:
Evaluate his behavior and determine if he’s making real changes to make the relationship work. If he’s not actively planning to end his marriage or make the relationship official, it’s time to reassess and ask yourself if you want to stay.
If he’s not putting in the effort to make it official with you, then you may not want to keep investing emotional energy into someone who isn’t reciprocating.
Related: 14 Things Men Think About Their Mistresses But Never Say Out Loud
4. Consider the Impact on His Family
Another important consideration when being with a married man is the potential impact on his family, especially his wife and children.
This factor can become emotional, as you may not want to be the person responsible for destroying a family. On the other hand, you have to think about how his relationship with you can cause his wife and children distress, which can emotionally affect you.
Why It Happens:
In some cases, the chemistry or emotional connection between two people is just too strong, so even the thought of another person being hurt can cause us to make excuses for the other person. However, it’s important to remember that a real person (his wife and family) will be affected and hurt by this decision.
What to Do:
Ask yourself whether you’re comfortable with the idea that your involvement with this man may lead to hurt or betrayal for his wife and family.
If the answer is no, then you need to reconsider whether this relationship is right for you and if you want to put yourself through the emotional anguish it might cause. As much as you care for this person, weigh up if the risk is worth taking.
5. What Are Your Expectations for the Future?
If you are with a married man, a vital question to ask yourself is what your long-term plans are for the relationship. Do you want him to eventually leave his wife and be with you, or is this something you want to be temporary? It can help to ask yourself these types of questions so you know where you stand emotionally and whether the current situation is suitable for you.
Why It Happens:
Some people who date married men do so in the hope that the man will change or that love will find a way. However, the reality is that not all relationships can lead to happy endings, especially if the other person is not fully committed.
What to Do:
Ask yourself where you see the relationship in the future. Are you okay with the current situation, where nothing is official or being in the friend zone? If the answer is no, then be honest with yourself and decide if you want to be in this situation long-term. If not, have a candid discussion with him and make your expectations clear.
6. Are You Putting Your Own Life on Hold?
Another effect of being in a relationship with a married person is that it can cause you to put your life on hold in the hope that he will change or do the right thing.
You may find yourself giving up your own emotional well-being while waiting for him to take the plunge or make a move. It’s important to stop and ask yourself if you’re spending all of your emotional energy on someone who isn’t reciprocating.
Why It Happens:
It’s easy to get caught up in emotion and end up waiting around for the “perfect” moment. However, this means you’re not focusing on your own needs and desires, which can be limiting for your growth. As a result, it’s common for people in this situation to stay in relationships that are going nowhere.
Related: 9 Things That Happen When You Mess With A Married Man
What to Do:
Stop and evaluate the situation. Are you not living your life to the fullest outside of this relationship? Are you neglecting other aspects of your life, such as personal development, friendships, or career goals? If yes, it’s time to pull back and ensure you’re living a full, happy life outside of this relationship. If the other person isn’t willing to make changes, then at least you’re not giving up your happiness.
7. Do You Feel Good About Yourself?
A final and crucial question to ask yourself when being with a married person is whether you like how the relationship makes you feel about yourself.
Relationships with people who have conflicting commitments can be emotionally draining and leave you feeling down, ashamed, or unworthy. It’s important to ask yourself whether you like how the relationship makes you feel.
Why It Happens:
Dating a married man can make you feel inadequate, unworthy, or ashamed of being in the relationship, which can lead to low self-esteem. These relationships are rarely based on mutual commitment, and it may feel like your partner isn’t being fully honest or committed.
What to Do:
Ask yourself if you like how this person makes you feel. If you’re constantly made to feel like a secret, an afterthought, or unimportant, it’s not good for your emotional well-being. You deserve a relationship where you feel loved, appreciated, and valued. If this relationship isn’t doing that, it’s probably time to take a step back.
Conclusion
Being with a married man who claims to love you can be an emotionally challenging and complicated situation.
While it is natural to want to believe in love and the possibility of a future together, it is important to consider your feelings, expectations, and well-being.
Ask yourself how the relationship makes you feel, whether he is making real efforts to change, and whether it aligns with your long-term goals. Love can be blinding, but it’s crucial to evaluate all aspects of the relationship before deciding how to proceed.
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