Oh, come on — we all know the drill. You see that person you like, and suddenly you’re at a loss for words, your palms get sweaty, and your mind goes blank. It’s happened to me more than once. And you’re probably asking yourself how to stop being so awkward and shy around your crush.
Well, the good news is that there are ways to feel and act more confident.
How to Be More Confident Around Your Crush
1. Set the Right Mindset
The first step in being more relaxed and yourself around your crush is preparing the right mindset. Far too often, confidence is associated with “being extra” — being loud, excessively flirtatious, or coming on too strong. In reality, confidence isn’t about showing off or trying too hard; it’s about being at ease with yourself.
When you’re thinking about seeing your crush (or you actually see them), remind yourself that they’re just a person. I know it sounds silly, but sometimes we put the people we like on a pedestal and expect them to be perfect.
Stop it. Your crush is just a person, which means they have bad days, embarrassing moments, and goofy habits — just like you. If you view them as some kind of idol, you subconsciously make yourself seem lesser in comparison.
A better way to view your crush:
-
Treat them like an equal. Your crush isn’t “better” than you. They just happen to be someone you’re attracted to and interested in.
-
You don’t need their validation. Your crush does not define your self-worth.
-
Get to know a person, not a character. Your crush isn’t performing for you — you’re both getting to know each other as human beings.
Trust me, once you let go of the idea that everything you say or do has to be perfect, it becomes much easier to be yourself around your crush.
Related: How to Be Confident When Speaking with People
2. Build Up Your Self-Confidence in General
Can you flip a switch and suddenly become confident in a single day? Not really. Self-confidence doesn’t magically appear right before you see your crush. It’s the result of small habits and mindset shifts you practice over time.
You have to be confident in general — not just around your crush. If you’re not already, work on building your overall self-confidence. A few things you can do:
-
Put effort into your appearance (your style, grooming, hygiene, etc.) — but only to the point that you feel comfortable. You don’t have to change how you look, but you should feel clean, fresh, and put together. When you look good, you naturally carry yourself better.
-
Practice good posture. Stand up straight, keep your shoulders back, and lift your chin. You’ll be surprised how much posture affects your mood and how others perceive you.
-
Focus on something you’re good at. Confidence grows from competence. Whether it’s a skill, hobby, or personal goal, work on things that make you feel proud of yourself.
-
Practice positive self-talk. Replace thoughts like “I’ll say something stupid” or “I’ll embarrass myself” with “I’m calm” or “I can do this.”
The more you strengthen your general confidence, the more it will show. When you’re genuinely self-assured in life, your crush will sense that energy.
Related: How To Make Your Daughter Confident
3. Start Small
If you tend to freeze up around your crush, don’t expect to jump straight into long, smooth conversations. Confidence is often built in baby steps.
If you see your crush regularly (at school, work, or in social circles), start by just acknowledging them with a simple “hi” or a friendly smile. You’re not trying to impress them — you’re just showing that you exist and that you’re approachable.
From there, you can slowly ease into small talk:
-
Make a comment on the situation: “Man, this line is taking forever, right?”
-
Ask a harmless question: “Hey, did you check out that new coffee spot?”
-
Give a low-pressure compliment: “That color looks great on you.”
The goal is to make conversation feel normal and easy. After a few brief, positive interactions, it’ll be much less intimidating to talk to your crush for longer periods.
Related: How To Be More Confident At School In 11 Simple Ways
4. Have an Idea, But Don’t Plan Everything
This is where a lot of people get tripped up. You like someone, so you start overthinking what you should say or do to make sure you don’t mess up. But the result? You come across as forced or insincere — and not like yourself at all.
Overthinking is the enemy of confidence. Confidence comes from knowing what you want to say, but not over-preparing.
It’s fine to have an idea of topics or stories you could bring up if the opportunity arises. The problem is when you map out your entire conversation and try to follow it word for word. The more you try to control everything, the more unnatural it feels.
Here’s what I’d suggest:
-
Come prepared with one or two ideas in case the conversation lulls.
-
Practice active listening. Listen more than you speak and show that you care about what your crush is saying. Authenticity is more attractive than being smooth.
-
Laugh off minor mistakes. If you say something awkward, smile and brush it off. The most confident people aren’t those who never make mistakes — they’re the ones who don’t let mistakes throw them off.
Trust me, your crush isn’t analyzing every little thing you say or do. Chances are, they’re just as nervous as you. Give yourself some grace.
Related: 15 Habits of Confident Women
5. Focus on What You Can Control
A key part of feeling confident around your crush is focusing on what you can control. You can’t control their feelings or reactions, but you can control how you show up, how you treat them, and how you treat yourself.
Here are a few things you can control:
-
Being kind and respectful.
-
Maintaining eye contact and smiling.
-
Opening up and sharing your thoughts.
-
Setting boundaries if needed.
The more you shift your mindset from “Will they like me?” to “Am I proud of how I’m showing up today?”, the more in control you’ll feel — and that’s where true confidence begins.
Related: 10 Proven Ways to Be More Confident Around Guys
6. Manage Your Nerves
Another misconception about confidence is that confident people never feel nervous or anxious. Wrong. Everyone gets nervous — especially around someone they like. The difference is that confident people know how to manage those feelings instead of letting them take over.
Here are a few ways to calm down and stay centered:
-
Take deep breaths. Before approaching or talking to your crush, inhale deeply through your nose, hold for three seconds, and slowly exhale through your mouth. This helps slow your heart rate and steady your body.
-
Smile. Smiling makes you look more approachable and actually triggers your brain to release feel-good chemicals.
-
Ground yourself. Focus on the sights, sounds, and sensations around you to pull your attention away from anxious thoughts.
-
Accept the nerves. Tell yourself, “It’s okay to be a little nervous — it just means I care.” This simple mindset shift removes a lot of pressure.
You’ll probably always feel a little nervous before seeing your crush — but the more you interact with them, the easier it’ll get.
7. Be Interested in Them
Confidence isn’t just about how you feel or act — it’s also about how you make other people feel. When you’re genuinely curious about your crush, you create a natural, warm connection.
Ask questions and actually listen to their answers. Focus on them, not your own inner monologue. Try questions like:
-
“What have you been into lately?”
-
“What kind of music or shows are you loving right now?”
-
“How was your weekend?” (and then follow up later if they mention something specific).
When you focus on getting to know your crush, your anxiety naturally fades. You shift from performing to connecting — and that’s where real confidence shows up.
8. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
One of the fastest ways to destroy your confidence is by comparing yourself to others. You see your crush talking to someone else and immediately think they’re more attractive, funnier, or cooler. Stop it.
Everyone has their own unique mix of qualities and strengths. No one is more “complete” or “qualified” than you. You don’t need to compete with anyone — competition isn’t a healthy foundation for a relationship anyway.
Instead of thinking, “I’ll never be as fun or attractive as them,” remind yourself:
-
“I bring my own energy to the table.”
-
“I have strengths and qualities that make me special.”
-
“They don’t have to see that for it to be true — I already know it is.”
Confidence is quiet. It doesn’t shout, “Pick me!” It whispers, “I am enough.”
9. Be Yourself
A lot of people try to seem more confident around their crush by pretending to be someone they’re not. They laugh at things they don’t actually find funny, hide their real interests, or change how they act to fit a certain image.
That’s a recipe for disaster. Pretending might help in the short term, but it won’t lead to a real connection. If your crush ends up liking a version of you that isn’t authentic, the relationship won’t last.
You can (and should) be yourself around your crush — imperfections and all. You bring value to any connection simply by being genuine. Don’t hide who you are in hopes of fitting someone else’s ideal. There’s someone out there who will appreciate you for exactly who you are.
10. Don’t Fear Rejection
I get it — the thought of rejection can stop you from even talking to your crush. But rejection doesn’t mean you’re not good enough or that you’re unworthy of love.
Rejection just means two people weren’t a good match. That’s it.
No matter how hard you try to be someone’s type, sometimes it just won’t click — and that’s okay. If someone you like doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, you’ll be fine. You’ll move on, grow, and come out stronger and more confident next time.
And ironically, when you stop trying so hard to “win” your crush, that’s often when they start noticing you more. Confidence is attractive because it doesn’t chase.
11. Confidence Is a Muscle
If you want to build confidence around your crush, you have to practice it. Confidence is like a muscle — the more you use it, the stronger it gets. No one is born effortlessly cool and collected.
It takes time and practice.
Challenge yourself a little each time you see or talk to your crush. Say hi. Crack a joke. Ask a question. Step outside your comfort zone — and don’t be afraid to fail.
The more you push yourself in small ways, the easier it becomes.
You Got This!
Remember: confidence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin, showing genuine interest in your crush, and not letting fear run the show.
You don’t have to be smooth or in control all the time. You just have to be kind, authentic, and you. It’s better to be a slightly awkward version of yourself than a fake version of someone else.
At the end of the day, confidence comes down to one thing: knowing your worth — no matter how your crush reacts.
Save pin for later.
- How to Be More Confident Around Your Crush - 12/12/2025
- What Does It Mean When a Married Man Flirts - 11/12/2025
- What Does It Mean When a Girl Calls You Cute - 11/12/2025