If you ever struggle with what to eat, what to write in an email, when to say something, or what the next step in your life should be…
If you go over certain decisions again and again in your mind after you’ve already made them, and feel anxious that you chose the “wrong” option…
If any of this sounds familiar to you, welcome. You are in the right place.
Indecisiveness is not a personality flaw or a sign that something is wrong with you. It is often a learned habit—one that grows out of fear, perfectionism, lack of confidence, information overload, or simply not knowing how to decide what to do. And that’s the good news. Because it also means decisiveness can be learned. It’s a skill, just like any other, and it can be practiced, nurtured, and strengthened over time.
In this post, I’ll share what I’ve learned over the years about why it’s so hard for many people to be decisive, what is really holding us back, and realistic, practical ways to become more decisive—without feeling pressured, guilty, or pretending we’re not afraid.
What Does It Mean to Be Decisive?
Decisiveness is often confused with being right or being perfect. It is not.
Being decisive simply means that:
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You can make decisions in a reasonable amount of time
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You trust yourself enough to choose and commit to your decisions
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You are not stuck in a constant loop of “what if” thinking
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You take responsibility for your decisions, rather than avoiding or projecting them
A decisive person is not smarter or luckier than an indecisive person. They have simply learned how to show up and act even when they can’t know for certain.
Related:9 Small Things To Do To Better Your Life In 2026
Why So Many People Struggle With Indecision
Before you start taking action to address your indecisiveness, it can be really helpful to understand where it’s coming from. Here are some of the most common reasons people struggle to decide what to do.
1. Fear of Making the Wrong Choice
The fear of making a mistake or choosing the wrong option can be paralyzing because, in our minds, choosing feels dangerous.
“If I make the wrong decision, everything could be ruined.”
Related: How to Become That Girl
2. Perfectionism
If we believe there is one “best” or “perfect” option out there, we may never feel satisfied and will keep searching instead of choosing a good-enough option.
“If I can’t have the perfect job, I won’t have any job.”
“If I can’t find the right person, I won’t commit to anyone.”
3. Fear of Regret or Judgment
We may fear disappointing someone or being blamed, criticized, or judged later—especially by people we care about.
4. Too Many Options
Modern life gives us more and more choices. But more options don’t create more freedom—they create overwhelm.
5. Low Self-Trust
If our choices have been criticized, controlled, or second-guessed repeatedly in the past, it can be difficult to trust ourselves now.
Recognizing the main reason (or reasons) behind your indecisiveness isn’t about judging or blaming yourself. It’s about seeing things clearly so you can respond with compassion instead of frustration.
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The Truth About Decisions Most People Don’t Realize
There’s one small mindset shift that can change everything:
Most decisions are reversible or adjustable.
Very few decisions are truly permanent.
Careers can change. Relationships can evolve or end. Plans can shift. Skills can be learned. Choices can be adjusted.
Waiting endlessly to feel 100% certain often causes more damage than making an imperfect decision and learning from it.
How to Become More Decisive (Step-by-Step)
1. Separate Big Decisions From Small Ones
Not all decisions are equally important. Many of the decisions we make every day are small and don’t deserve large amounts of time or mental energy. When we treat them like major decisions, we drain ourselves and get nowhere.
Decisions That Aren’t Major Decisions
What to eat, what to wear, when to respond, what to name a file
Decisions That Are Somewhat Important
Taking a course, accepting an invitation, ordering an outfit online
Major Decisions
Marriage, relocation, career change
Action step: Decide in advance how much time you’ll spend on different types of decisions.
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Small decisions: 2–5 minutes
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Medium decisions: 1–2 days
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Big decisions: More thought—but still with a deadline
Related: How to Become Emotionally Intelligent
2. Set Decision Deadlines
Indecision thrives when it feels like it has unlimited time.
Endless time to weigh options and overthink is a recipe for never acting. When you’re struggling to decide, set a clear deadline. Give yourself space to think—then choose.
Examples:
“I will decide by the end of the day.”
“I will choose whether to take this job by Friday at 5 p.m.”
Make the deadline specific, even if the decision feels uncomfortable.
3. Stop Waiting for 100% Certainty
Certainty is rare. Most good decisions are made with 60–80% certainty. Waiting for 100% certainty often leads to no decision at all.
Ask yourself instead:
“Do I have enough information to decide?”
“Is this good enough for now? Is it safe enough, even if it’s not perfect?”
Progress beats perfection every time.
4. Limit Your Options
Too many options increase anxiety and regret.
Instead of searching for every possible option, narrow your choices down to two or three reasonable ones—and then choose.
Example:
Instead of searching forever for the “best” job, focus on two or three roles that meet your needs.
Fewer options = fewer mental loops = clearer thinking.
5. Practice Making Small Decisions Quickly
The more you practice making small decisions, the easier it becomes to trust yourself with bigger ones.
Start small:
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Choose what to eat without overthinking
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Pick a movie and commit
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Say yes or no and move on—no explanation required
Each small decision builds trust in your ability to choose and handle the outcome.
6. Accept That Regret Is Part of Life
Regret keeps many people stuck in indecision. We want to avoid it completely—but that’s not realistic.
You can regret choosing. And you can regret not choosing. The difference is that choosing moves you forward.
Helpful reframe:
“I can handle regret better than I can handle being stuck.”
7. Focus on Values, Not Outcomes
Decisions driven by endless “what ifs” are usually rooted in fear. Decisions based on your values tend to bring clarity.
Ask yourself:
“Which option aligns with who I want to be?”
“What choice respects my time, energy, and boundaries?”
Outcome-based decisions are often shaped by what you should do or what others expect.
Value-based decisions are guided by what feels right for you.
8. Stop Over-Researching
Information is helpful—but it can also become a hiding place.
If you’ve been researching endlessly without taking action, you may be avoiding the discomfort of deciding.
Set limits:
“I’ll read three articles.”
“I’ll ask two trusted people for advice—then I’ll choose.”
After that, decide.
9. Trust That You Will Figure Things Out
Confidence isn’t built by never being wrong. It’s built by knowing you can handle whatever comes next.
Decisive people don’t believe:
“I’ll never fail.”
They believe:
“I’ll figure this out—even if it doesn’t work.”
That belief is more powerful than certainty.
10. Let Go of Other People’s Opinions
If you need to please everyone before deciding, you’ll never decide.
You don’t need approval to choose what’s right for you.
Reminder: You’re the one who will live with the consequences of your decisions. Your voice matters most.
How to Deal With Decision Anxiety When It Shows Up
Even as decisiveness becomes easier, anxiety may still appear when a choice feels important or uncertain.
When it does:
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Take a few slow breaths
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Write down pros and cons (briefly—don’t spiral)
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Remind yourself: I don’t need to be perfect. I just need to be intentional.
Decisiveness is acting despite fear—not the absence of it.
What Decisiveness Looks Like in Real Life
Decisiveness does not mean:
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Never doubting yourself
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Never changing direction
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Never asking for help
Decisiveness does mean:
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Making decisions without endless delay
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Standing by your choices long enough to learn from them
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Adjusting without blaming yourself
Final Thoughts
Decisiveness isn’t a talent you’re born with. It’s self-trust in action.
Trust that:
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You are capable of choosing
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You can handle the outcome, even if it’s imperfect
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You don’t need permission to move forward
The more you decide, the easier it becomes. The more you act, the quieter self-doubt grows.
Start small. Choose something today. Commit to it. Learn from it.
That’s how decisiveness is built—one choice at a time.
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