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How To Build A Positive Mindset

I used to be anxious and negative as hell.

I’d wake up feeling like a storm cloud. Every small mistake felt massive. Whenever something went wrong, my mind hunted for proof that I was broken beyond repair.

Even when things were going well, I assumed it was just the calm before the universe dunked on me again.

So what changed my mindset?
Therapy? Meditation? Winning the lottery?

No.

I learned how to actually train positivity.

Slowly.
Ugly.
Messed up.
Imperfectly.

Because positivity isn’t some forced grin turned into a lifestyle.

It’s acknowledging that crap happens—but you don’t have to live there.

Let me show you how to actually practice positivity every day.

Note: This isn’t a habit you build once and never think about again.
It’s a never-ending mindset shift you learn to return to, again and again.

Here we go.

How to build a positive mindset

1. Understand What Positivity Really Is

Positivity isn’t feeling happy all the time.

It’s understanding life well enough that negative events don’t cancel your good mood.

It’s practicing thoughts like:

“This is difficult, but it’s not the end of the world.”
“I messed up one thing—this doesn’t mean I’m ruined.”
“This season is hard, but it’s making me stronger.”

Positivity is realizing that just because life sucks sometimes, it doesn’t mean you suck.

You’re allowed to feel disappointed without turning it into a personality trait.

2. Learn to Catch Your First Thought, Not the Last

Most people try to rewire their mindset after the damage is done.

“I always mess things up…”
“I’m never good enough.”
“This will never work.”

Then they argue with themselves and wonder why they ruminate forever.

Instead, learn to notice your first thought:

“I always—”
“This never—”
“I can’t—”

That moment your brain starts talking is your cue to pause.

Don’t argue.
Don’t yell at yourself.
Just soften the thought.

Change:

“I always mess things up.”
to
“I’m feeling unsure right now.”

“I can’t do this.”
to
“I don’t know if I can do this yet.”

You’re not lying.
You’re subtracting the absolute nature of the statement.

Instead of:

“This will destroy me.”

Try:

“This is hard.”

Over time, this rewires how you experience your thoughts.

Instead of hunting for proof that you’re failing, you train your mind to look for proof of progress.

Each day, ask:

  • Where did I improve?

  • What small thing didn’t I quit today?

  • Where did I show up even when I didn’t want to?

Write it down.

Don’t beat yourself up for not improving faster. Just show up and document your growth.

When you train your mind to notice tiny wins, you stop believing every problem is proof that you’re fundamentally broken.

If you’re still struggling with negative thoughts, here are tips on how to overcome bad thought.

3. Create a “Home” for Your Mind

When something triggers you, where does your mind go?

Most people let it live in pain:

  • “What’s wrong with me?”

  • “Why did this happen to me?”

  • “The problem is…”

You can teach your mind a new place to land.

Choose a short phrase you repeat when you start spiraling:

  • “It’s going to be okay.”

  • “I can do hard things.”

  • “This feeling will pass.”

Let that be your mental safe place.

When you start losing your cool, whisper it to yourself.

Over time, your mind will go there automatically.

4. Train Your Mind to Practice Positivity

Positivity is simple in theory and hard in real life.

Here are ways to practice it daily:

When you mess up, ask:

  • “What can I learn from this?”

  • “What’s one thing I could try differently?”

  • “What would I say to a friend in this situation?”

Ask these before you list every reason you’re terrible.

Forgive yourself quickly.

If you have a bad day, tell yourself why tomorrow can be better.

Don’t stew in the suck. Train yourself to bounce back faster.

If you wake up angry, give yourself three reasons tomorrow can improve.

Fill your mind with good things—music, books, stories that excite you.
The more you feed your mind nourishing input, the more unnatural constant negativity feels.

5. Wake Up with Purpose

Before your feet hit the ground, take two minutes.

Ask:

  • How do I want to show up today?

  • How do I want to react to stress?

  • How do I want to feel at the end of the day?

No pressure. Just aim to show up slightly better than usual.

Ask yourself:

“How can I show up well today?”

Remember—you are always in control of your actions, reactions, and attention.

6. Don’t Respond Immediately

When you feel the urge to react—pause.

Take a breath.
Wait ten seconds.

Remind yourself: I have a choice.

Pause before you speak.
Step away when you’re angry.
Don’t make decisions in emotional heat.

Feel your emotions. Don’t become them.

Letting emotions pass without reacting builds long-term happiness.

7. Self-Talk Matters

How do you speak to yourself when you disappoint yourself?

Now imagine saying those words to a five-year-old you love.

Would you ever say:

  • “You’re stupid.”

  • “You always mess up.”

  • “What’s wrong with you?”

Of course not.

So why do you deserve worse than a child?

You don’t need fake praise.
Just treat yourself the way you treat someone you love.

Try:

“I messed up, but I’m still worthy.”
“This isn’t fair, but I can handle it.”

Use reminders:

“The past hurt me, but it doesn’t mean this will.”

Stop attaching mistakes to your identity.

Most of life is emotional clutter we cling to.

Learn to let emotions pass without building a home in them.

8. Savor the Small Wins

Most of life is ordinary.

Your brain wants everything to feel like a crisis.

But when you learn to enjoy small wins, you stop waiting for life to happen.

You start celebrating it.

Crossing the street safely.
Finishing a task.
Getting through a hard moment.

My subscribers call these “wins.”

Find reasons to appreciate today.

9. When You’re Angry, Take a Break

Walk.
Vent.
Shower.
Breathe.

Don’t sit in emotional overload.

Feel it—but pause before acting.

10. You Don’t Have to Carry Everything

Not every problem is yours to solve.

You don’t have to save the world.

Let go of the need to control everything.

Life doesn’t require your input on everything.

Focus on where you can make a difference.

11. Look for the Good

We’re trained to scan for danger.

Try scanning for what’s right.

Write down five good things each day—no matter how small.

You are what you celebrate.

12. Ask Better Questions

Replace:

“Why does this always happen to me?”

With:

  • “What can I learn from this?”

  • “What’s one way I can grow?”

  • “How would my best self handle this?”

You are becoming the person your questions shape.

13. Practice Gratitude

Tiny things:

  • Your legs that work

  • Warm water

  • Food on your table

Say thank you out loud.

Here is my previous post about how to practice gratitude.

14. Let Yourself Feel

It’s okay to not be okay.

Allowing emotion helps it pass faster.

“Life sucks and then you die” isn’t depressing—it’s motivation.

Enjoy the good.

15. Don’t Fear Vulnerability

Courage is feeling fear and acting anyway.

You don’t have to enjoy growth.

You just have to stay.

16. Affirmations Aren’t Cheesy

What you think becomes your reality.

“Fake it till you make it” doesn’t mean lie.

It means show up even when you feel small.

Speak life to your mind.

17. Set Emotional Boundaries, Not Walls

Positive thinking isn’t letting everything in.

It’s letting the right things stay.

You can:

  • Walk away from draining people

  • Say no to constant negativity

  • Protect your energy

That isn’t rude.
That’s self-care.

Your mind is your home.
You choose who lives there.

18. Be Patient

Positivity grows in small steps.

Ten minutes of reflection.
One kind word.
One deep breath.

You don’t need to change everything today.

You just need to return.

Every time you interrupt autopilot, you get stronger.

Final thought

Positive thinking doesn’t make you someone else.

It lets you be more of who you are—without fear running the show.

You’ll still feel.
You’ll still stumble.

But you won’t abandon yourself.

You’ll learn to say:

“I am present.”
“I am becoming.”
“I’ve got this.”

Not because life becomes perfect.

But because you learn how to stand strong in the storm.

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how to build a positive mindset

ONWE DAMIAN
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