How to Deal With A Stubborn Husband – 9 Ways
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How to Deal With A Stubborn Husband – 9 Ways

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Dealing with a stubborn husband can feel like trying to navigate a ship through a storm. It requires patience, skill, and sometimes, a new perspective. If you find yourself in this situation, here are tips on how to deal with a stubborn husband.

What Does it Mean to Have a Stubborn Husband?

When we talk about a stubborn husband, it’s important to recognize that stubbornness is a complex trait. It’s not just about refusing to budge on where to eat dinner; it’s a deeper, more ingrained behavior that affects many aspects of your life together. A stubborn husband may insist on having things his way, struggle to admit when he’s wrong or resist change even when it’s beneficial.

This stubbornness often stems from a variety of sources. It could be a learned behavior from childhood, a defense mechanism to avoid vulnerability, or simply a personality trait. Understanding the root cause of your husband’s stubbornness is crucial. It allows you to approach the situation with empathy and insight, setting the stage for meaningful communication.

How to Deal With A Stubborn Husband

5 Signs You Have a Stubborn Husband

Identifying a stubborn husband isn’t always as straightforward as one might think. It goes beyond the occasional disagreement or insistence on a particular point. Here are five signs that you might be dealing with a stubborn partner:

  1. Refusal to Change: One of the clearest signs is a persistent refusal to change or consider alternative viewpoints. This can manifest in big ways, like refusing to compromise on major life decisions, or in smaller, daily choices.
  2. Difficulty Apologizing: If your husband struggles to apologize or admit fault, it could be a sign of stubbornness. This often comes from a place of pride or a fear of vulnerability.
  3. Resistance to Feedback: A stubborn husband may react defensively to feedback, viewing it as criticism rather than an opportunity for growth. This can stifle open communication and make it challenging to address issues in the relationship.
  4. Insistence on Having the Last Word: A need to have the final say in arguments or discussions, regardless of the situation’s nuances, is another hallmark of stubbornness.
  5. Unwillingness to Compromise: At its core, a stubborn streak often means an unwillingness to meet in the middle. This can make navigating disagreements or making joint decisions particularly challenging.

How to Deal with a Stubborn Husband

1. Understand the Root Cause

Before you can effectively address the stubbornness, it’s crucial to understand where it’s coming from. Is this stubbornness a defense mechanism? Could it be stemming from past experiences or a deep-seated fear of vulnerability? Understanding the root cause is your first step toward navigating this challenge.

It’s about peeling back the layers to comprehend the ‘why’ behind the obstinance. Empathy plays a key role here; recognizing your partner’s perspective can pave the way for more open and less confrontational dialogues.

In this endeavor, it’s beneficial to engage in reflective listening. This involves truly hearing what your partner is saying and responding in a way that makes them feel understood and valued. It’s not about agreeing with them but validating their feelings. Such an approach can soften the hardest of stances, making your partner more amenable to compromise.

Moreover, it’s essential to recognize that everyone has innate stubbornness on certain matters. Reflecting on your own behaviors and understanding that compromise is a two-way street can significantly alter the dynamics of your interactions. It’s about finding common ground and working from there.

Related: How to compromise in a relationship

2. Choose the Right Time and Place

Timing and setting play pivotal roles in how a conversation unfolds. Approaching your husband with a contentious topic right when he walks through the door after a long day is unlikely to yield a positive outcome. It’s about picking your battles and recognizing the moments when he’s more open to discussion.

Thus, Create a calm and neutral environment where you can freely discuss with each other without interruptions or distractions. This means choosing a place where both of you feel comfortable and at ease, away from distractions or potential stressors. Such an atmosphere is conducive to open, honest communication, where both parties feel safe to express their thoughts and feelings.

Also, it’s beneficial to approach the conversation with a clear and calm mindset. Coming into a discussion feeling agitated or prepared for a confrontation will only escalate the situation. It’s about setting the tone for a constructive dialogue, where the goal is mutual understanding rather than winning an argument.

Related: How to compromise in a relationship

3. Communicate Effectively

In all my posts, I always emphasize so much about communication. Effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. In other words, remove communication and your relationship will break down.

Effective communication involves expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully, without resorting to criticism or contempt. So, what I want you to do is to discuss with him about his attitude toward you and how it makes you feel. If he is considerate enough, he will listen to you and change.

Related: How to communicate better with your spouse

4. Use Humor

Injecting humor into a tense situation can be a powerful tool. It’s not about making light of legitimate concerns but about easing the tension that can build up during serious discussions. A well-timed joke or a playful comment can remind both of you why you’re together in the first place, helping to soften the mood and open the door to more productive conversations.

However, it’s important to use humor sensitively. It should never be at the expense of your partner’s feelings or used to belittle their concerns. The aim is to create a moment of levity that can break the cycle of stubbornness and allow for a fresh perspective.

Moreover, sharing a laugh can reinforce your bond, reminding you both of the lighter, more joyful aspects of your relationship. It’s a way of reconnecting and remembering that, despite the current conflict, your partnership is built on love and mutual respect.

5. Offer Compromise

Finding a middle ground is often the most effective way to deal with a stubborn husband. It shows that you’re willing to work together to find a solution that satisfies both of you. Compromise is about flexibility and being open to alternatives that you may not have considered initially.

When proposing a compromise, it’s helpful to present it as a win-win situation. This means highlighting the benefits for both parties, rather than framing it as a concession. It’s about finding a solution that meets both of your needs to a reasonable extent.

Moreover, compromising can set a positive precedent for future conflicts. It demonstrates that you’re both capable of working together to resolve disagreements in a way that strengthens your relationship. This can make it easier to approach future challenges with a collaborative mindset.

6. Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is necessary in any relationship but becomes even more critical when dealing with stubbornness. It’s about clearly defining what is acceptable and what isn’t, ensuring that your needs and well-being are respected. Boundaries can include how you’re willing to communicate, what behaviors you won’t tolerate, and how you’ll respond if these boundaries are crossed.

Communicating your boundaries clearly and respectfully is key. It’s not an ultimatum but a statement of your needs and expectations. Framing it as a means to improve your relationship can help your husband understand the importance of these boundaries.

Respecting your own boundaries is equally important. If a line is crossed, it’s crucial to follow through with the discussed consequences. This consistency shows that you value yourself and your relationship enough to protect it.

7. Encourage Professional Help

Sometimes, the best way to deal with a stubborn husband is to seek outside help. This can be in the form of marriage counseling or individual therapy. Professional help can offer new perspectives and tools for communication that may not be apparent from within the relationship.

Approaching the topic of therapy can be delicate. It’s important to frame it as a positive step towards improving your relationship, rather than as an indictment of your husband’s behavior.

8. Practice Patience

Dealing with a stubborn husband requires patience. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and expecting instant results can lead to frustration and resentment.

Patience also involves giving your husband the time and space to reflect on your discussions. Not every conversation will end in a resolution, and that’s okay. Sometimes, a period of reflection can lead to breakthroughs that wouldn’t have been possible in the heat of the moment.

9. Focus on the Positive

In any relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in the negatives, especially when dealing with stubbornness. However, focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship and your husband’s qualities can help shift the dynamic. It’s about reminding yourself why you fell in love in the first place and what you admire about him.

Expressing appreciation for the good things, no matter how small, can make a significant difference. It shifts the focus from conflict to gratitude, which can soften stubborn stances and open the door to more positive interactions.


Dealing with a stubborn husband can test the strongest of bonds, but it’s not insurmountable. Understanding the underlying causes, communicating effectively, and employing empathy and patience can transform these challenges into opportunities for growth.

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