I’ve come to realize that having narcissistic friends is more troublesome than I ever imagined. It feels like being trapped in a web of status, ego, and emotional burnout.
At first, they’re incredibly charming and seem to shine in the spotlight, but over time, you start to feel like you’re giving everything to them while they give nothing in return.
Instead, they take. I’ve been in that situation, and now, I want to share how you can handle narcissistic friends and maintain your emotional health.
Recognizing Narcissistic Behavior in Friendships
Before you can handle a narcissistic friend, it’s crucial to recognize the symptoms.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can often go undetected at the start of a friendship, but over time, certain behaviors become more apparent. Here are some key signs to watch for:
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Everything Is About Them
Narcissists have a way of making everything about themselves. Whether it’s their accomplishments, problems, or needs, they dominate every conversation. If you notice that your discussions always end up revolving around them, it’s likely you’re dealing with a narcissist. -
Lack of Empathy
Narcissistic friends tend to dismiss your emotions and focus on their own. This can leave you feeling like your feelings aren’t important. Have you ever opened up to a friend only to be ignored or brushed off? That’s a big red flag. -
Manipulation and Gaslighting
Narcissists often manipulate situations to their advantage. They can make you doubt your own reality, making you feel confused and invalidated. This is what’s known as gaslighting, and it’s one of the most damaging tactics narcissists use to control others. -
Living Off Your Success
When narcissistic friends don’t get what they want out of the friendship, they may either move on or become distant, leaving you wondering whether they ever cared about you in the first place. It’s as if they were only around to feed off your success, attention, or support.
Related: Here Is How Narcissists Love
What to Do with a Narcissistic Friend
Once you’ve recognized that you have a narcissistic friend, the next step is deciding how to handle it. You don’t need to put up with toxic behavior just because they’ve been in your life for a long time. Here’s how you can deal with a narcissistic friend and protect your emotional well-being.
1. Acknowledge the Problem
The first step is acknowledging that something is off. I remember when I first suspected that my friend was a narcissist. I kept telling myself, “She’s just going through a phase,” or “Maybe I’m overreacting.” But once I accepted the reality of the situation, I was able to take the next steps to protect myself.
You might feel like you’re being too sensitive or expecting too much, but it’s important to realize that it’s not about you—it’s about their need for validation. Recognizing the problem is the first step to taking control of the situation.
Related: How Narcissists Treat Their Spouse
2. Set Boundaries
Narcissistic friends will test your limits. If you allow them to overstep, they’ll continue to demand more of your time and energy. I remember when my friend began pressing me for more time and emotional support, and I knew it was time to set some firm boundaries.
Start by identifying what you can no longer tolerate. Is it their need to constantly be the center of attention? Their ability to make you do things for them? Whatever it is, draw your boundaries and communicate them clearly. It might be something as simple as saying, “I won’t be available after 8 PM,” or “You need to take my feelings seriously.”
It might be tough at first, but with time, your friend will learn that you’re no longer willing to tolerate their behavior.
Related: 10 Phone Habits I’ve Noticed That Can Help Spot a Narcissist
3. Don’t Take It Personally
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was not to take their behavior personally. Narcissists are often driven by their insecurities and need for validation, and their actions have nothing to do with your worth.
When my friend would make everything about herself and dismiss my emotions, it was hard not to internalize it. But once I started seeing her behavior as a reflection of her emotional struggles rather than a judgment of me, I was able to detach myself from the situation.
It may take time, but remind yourself that it’s not about you—it’s their issue, not yours.
Related: How Narcissists Treat Their Spouse
4. Stop Enabling Their Behavior
Narcissistic friends thrive when they have people who enable their behavior. I used to enable my friend by always being there when she needed attention or validation. But I soon realized that no matter how much I gave, she would never reciprocate.
To stop enabling their behavior, you need to stop obliging them. If they interrupt you or make you feel insignificant, don’t put up with it. If they only contact you when they need something, make yourself unavailable.
It’s not easy at first, but when you stop enabling them, you’ll begin to regain control over the relationship.
5. Limit Contact
Sometimes, the best way to handle a narcissistic friend is to limit contact. This doesn’t mean you need to cut them out of your life completely, but it does mean taking a step back and reassessing how much time and energy you’re willing to invest in the relationship.
When I realized that my friendship was costing me more than it was rewarding me, I began to distance myself. I spent more time with friends who respected my boundaries and valued me for who I am.
It’s important to remember that your well-being should come first, especially if the friendship is toxic.
Related: These 8 Eating Habits Reveal Your Partner Is a Narcissist
6. Surround Yourself with Positive People
The best thing you can do when dealing with a narcissistic friend is to surround yourself with people who truly value you.
Narcissistic relationships can make you feel hollow and insecure, but by spending time with supportive and understanding people, you’ll begin to heal.
Make it a priority to nurture friendships that are built on mutual respect, empathy, and support. These relationships will restore your confidence and remind you of your worth.
7. Let Go
In some cases, the best course of action is to walk away from the friendship altogether. Letting go of a narcissistic friend isn’t about anger or bitterness—it’s about protecting your mental and emotional health.
I eventually had to walk away from my narcissistic friend, and although it was painful, it was the best decision I ever made.
Ending a toxic friendship is not a bad thing. It’s a sign that you value yourself enough to step away from relationships that no longer serve you.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with narcissistic friends is never easy, but it’s necessary for your emotional well-being.
Recognize the signs, set boundaries, and distance yourself when needed. Your memories of a person don’t excuse their toxic behavior, and you don’t have to tolerate it.
If you’re dealing with a narcissistic friend, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to set limits, reduce contact, and even walk away when it’s the best choice for your well-being. You deserve to be surrounded by people who respect, appreciate, and support you.
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