You’ve been dreading this day for the past few months, especially if you’re starting a new school. You wake up in the morning with a chaotic mixture of emotions.
On one hand, you can’t wait to finally start your new school, see new classrooms, and try new things. But on the other hand, you’re anxious. Will people like you? What if you don’t fit in? Where are you even going to find friends? This is all new and scary for you.
The simple truth is that even if you are shy and don’t know how to go about making new friends, there are ways to make that first day at school go a little smoother.
In this post, we’ll talk about ways to make friends on your first day of school, or your first day back from summer or winter vacation.
How to Make Friends on Your First Day of School
1. Smile and Be Approachable
First and foremost, make an effort to be approachable. Smile and be open to others. It sounds like a cliché, but it’s very easy for people to pick up on how friendly you are. On the flip side, if you look surly, people will hesitate to talk to you or invite you to join in the fun.
It’s completely normal to be nervous and anxious, but at the same time, remember that not everyone will be confident and cool at first either. Don’t overthink or overanalyze it. Smile, say hi to people, look them in the eyes, and it will lead people to naturally approach you.
If you’re a shy or introverted person, don’t force yourself to be outgoing if it doesn’t come naturally. Just try to be approachable and open to others, and that will be more than enough to get you started. No one wants to be around people who are grumpy or cold, so smile and be nice, and you’ll be surprised at how many people will gravitate toward you.
Related: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Friends
2. Make Small Talk
Don’t worry about deep or meaningful conversations, at least at the beginning. Chit-chatting can be a great way to get to know someone as well. You can easily start with simple and short questions like:
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“Hey, what’s your favorite subject?”
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“I’m trying to find my way to the library, do you know where it is?”
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“I love your shoes, where did you get them?”
These casual and small talks can help you find common ground and build a connection with others. Plus, if you’re an introvert or feel shy about putting yourself out there, try talking to a shy person or someone who looks like they’re in the same boat as you.
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3. Join Group Activities
Joining group activities or clubs is one of the most obvious, yet most effective ways to make friends. This can be anything from group assignments and projects in school to joining extracurricular activities and clubs.
Many schools offer a wide range of activities, from sports teams to drama and debate clubs, so you can be sure that you will find at least a couple of things that you like and can be a part of. If you are an artist, join an art club; if you are a gamer or tech-savvy, look for gaming or programming clubs.
Joining group activities will give you something in common with other students and also provide the perfect environment for you to get to know your peers better. Plus, it’s much easier to make friends with people who you have something in common with!
Related: 13 Clear Signs of Bad Friendship
4. Sit Next to Someone
This is one of the easiest things to do. On the first day of school or at the beginning of a new school year, try to sit next to someone you don’t know or only know from a distance. Sitting by someone gives you an immediate connection and also provides an opportunity to talk during classes, breaks, or even during lunch.
Try introducing yourself first, like: “Hey, I’m [Your Name]. I don’t think we’ve met before!” If they’re anything like most people, they’ll happily say hi, and you’ll have someone to talk to.
You can also ask for a little help with something. For example, “Can you help me with this? I’m not sure how to work it, and it’s for our project. Do you know anything about it?” People generally love it when others care about their input or expertise, so you’re bound to start a nice and natural conversation.
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5. Be a Good Listener
It’s not only important to be able to express yourself well and carry a good conversation, but also to be a good listener. Make an effort to really listen when people are talking, show interest, and ask questions. Ask follow-up questions that show you are engaged in the conversation and also allow people to express their own opinions.
For example, if a person tells you that they love the Harry Potter series, you can ask them what they like the most about it, or if they have other favorite books and authors. In addition to making the conversation more interesting, it will also show the other person that you are interested in what they have to say and that you care about it.
Related: How To Stop Overthinking About Friends
6. Be Yourself
Don’t try to be someone you’re not. While you may have a lot of insecurities and anxieties about fitting in and finding friends, don’t put on a front. Don’t pretend to like something if you don’t, just so that you can blend in with the crowd. If you like to read, don’t pretend to be into sports just because your friends are. If you prefer video games and computers to parties and events, that’s totally fine.
Trying to pretend to be someone you’re not will only make you miserable and will make your friendships that you do manage to create fake and not authentic. Be yourself, and if you like sports, enjoy it, and if you don’t, that’s also fine.
7. Be Helpful
Helping others is one of the best and most natural ways to make friends. You can offer to help a classmate find their classroom, help someone understand the subject or with their homework, or work together on a project. Just a small helping hand can go a long way in making people warm up to you and opening them to building a relationship with you.
You can also be more proactive and approach others with a similar request for help. For example, you can talk to a classmate during a group discussion or seminar and offer to work together on a project or exchange notes, etc.
8. Attend School Events and Socials
Don’t be afraid to go to school events or socials and gatherings that your school organizes from time to time. These can be events where students of all grades and classes gather to socialize and meet one another.
These are also a good opportunity to meet new people in a less pressure-inducing environment, where you don’t have to make close friends but can at least make acquaintances and exchange numbers and social media accounts. Events and socials are a great opportunity to mingle, chat, and get to know other students in your school in a less formal setting.
9. Don’t Be Afraid of Being Rejected
You can’t please everyone, and not everyone you meet will immediately be your friend or even want to be friends with you. But that’s completely okay. Rejection is a part of life, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. No one will be able to click with everyone else.
If you tried to talk to a classmate or someone you don’t know and they were cold or dismissive, don’t give up. Maybe they are shy or it was not the right time for them to make friends. You can always try again.
10. Follow Up
Once you’ve met someone new or connected with them somehow, don’t be afraid to follow up. If you had a great conversation with a classmate or a new student the other day and had some interests in common, send them a message or talk to them the next day.
For example, you can say something as simple as: “Hey, I really enjoyed our conversation yesterday about [insert topic]. Do you want to have lunch together tomorrow?”
It’s simple, but it’s very effective. By following up on your first interactions and conversations, you are showing the other person that you are interested and genuinely care about continuing to get to know them.
Conclusion
Making friends on your first day at school or after a break can be difficult and intimidating, but it’s also something that’s completely doable with the right approach and mindset. Smile and be approachable, talk to others, be nice, join group activities, and be yourself, and things will fall into place.
It will also be easier for you to make friends and open up to others if you remember that you’re not alone and everyone feels the same fear and pressure of making new friends when they start a new school year or move to a new school.
In time, you will make friends, and it will be much easier and more natural for you if you let go of some of your anxieties and be yourself.
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