How To Stop Being Broke

I remember when I finally told myself, “Okay… yeah. I’m broke.”

Not like, “haha, I’m broke” broke.
I mean fully broke.
I-mean-low-on-my-paycheck-so-I-should-probably-order-instead-of-eating-breakfast broke.
I-mean-add-it-all-up-in-my-head-at-the-store broke.
I-mean-I-can’t-even-pay-for-a-phone-call-because-I-know-it’ll-cost-me broke.

I tried living like this for a while, telling myself it was “temporary.”
“Once I make more money,” I’d say, “things will turn around.”

Buuuut the reality was… I had made more money before — and I was still broke.

What ended up changing my financial life didn’t come from a secret investment. It wasn’t a crypto payout or a viral YouTube video. I stopped being broke when I changed the way I thought about money. More importantly, I changed how I spent money and how I behaved around money.

And it’s those last two lessons that I want to share with you.

Disclaimer: I’m not writing this from a “life is perfect and I’m rich!” place. I’m writing this from an “I’ve been where you are… and I got my finances together” place.

1. I Had to Accept That I Was Broke

Before I could improve my finances, I had to accept that they needed improvement.

I wasn’t broke because the world was unfair to me.
I wasn’t broke because my paycheck wasn’t high enough.
I was broke because I didn’t have a plan.
… I didn’t have clarity.
… and I lacked discipline.

Accepting that about myself was rough. But once I did, I felt empowered.

If you’re stuck in a place where you’re constantly stressed about money, let this be your wake-up call. Wake up and accept that you have a problem that needs to be addressed.

But don’t berate yourself.
Don’t shame yourself.
And don’t lie to yourself either.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do I know where my money is going each month?
Am I emotional about my spending habits?
Do I feel uncomfortable looking at my bank account?

When I answered these honestly, I had to say YES to all of them.

2. I Stopped Making Financial Decisions Out of Panic

Every financial decision I made when I was broke felt like an emergency.

Bills? A fire I needed to put out.
Unexpected expenses? Caught off guard.
Getting paid? Rejoice… until the next bill popped up.

My entire mindset revolved around fighting fires.

What changed everything?

I slowed my f***ing life down.

Instead of asking, “Can I afford this?”
I asked, “Does this serve me?”

Stop making impulse purchases. Take a beat.

Slowing my decision-making process stopped me from reacting to every spending trigger.

3. I Had to Face My Expenses Head-On

I used to hate looking at my bank account.

I’d avoid it like the plague until I absolutely had to pay bills. Then I’d log in, see that red notification, and instantly feel defeated.

But one day, I logged in, took a few deep breaths, and dove right in.

How much money was coming in each month?
How much was leaving each month?
Subscription services? Yup.
“Small” expenses I used to ignore? Oh yeah — those too.

And you know what I found?

I found leaks.

Leaks all over my financial ship that I wasn’t aware of. Gym memberships I never used. Too many nights ordering out because “it was easier.”

If you want to stop living paycheck to paycheck, you have to know where your money goes. Don’t worry about getting it perfect. Just get it real.

I didn’t need a complex budgeting app. I needed a gut check.

Budgeting isn’t about restriction.
It’s about awareness.

4. I Was Using Money as Emotional Comfort

Here’s the thing about my spending habits:

I spent money to feel better when I was stressed.
I celebrated with purchases.
And every time I “deserved something,” I bought it.

When I realized my relationship with money was more emotional than logical, everything changed.

If you use money to cope, you’re not a terrible human being. Your coping skills just need work.

Here’s what helped me instead:

Taking a walk
Journaling
Calling a friend
Sleeping on it

Trust me — this saved me so much money.

If you’ve emotionally spent your way into debt… stop. Replace the habit with a better one.

5. I Budgeted by Giving Every Dollar a Job

Budgeting was always a struggle for me.

I’d try to restrict myself, feel deprived, and eventually quit.

Restrict → Rebel → Repeat.

Everything changed when I flipped the script.

Instead of focusing on what I couldn’t spend money on, I focused on what I wanted my money to do.

I asked myself:

What are my real expenses?
What brings me joy?
What can I spend money on without guilt or anxiety?

That led to these categories:

Needs
Wants
Fun
Saving

Giving my money jobs made me intentional instead of reactive.

6. I Started Saving Before Spending

There were times when saving money felt impossible.

But here’s the shift that changed everything:

Saving isn’t what you do after you have extra money.
It’s how you build stability.

I started small. Embarrassingly small.

I’d look at my account and put $10 away.
Earned a little extra? Another $25 went in.

As cliché as it sounds… I started waiting.

If you’re always waiting for the “perfect time” to save, you’ll never start. Start small. Let momentum work its magic.

That safety net?
It feels amazing.

7. I Allowed Myself to Stop Trying to Look Rich

This one was hard.

Like a lot of people, I wanted to keep up with the Joneses.

Expensive clothes? Check.
Nights out? Absolutely.
Maintaining an image? Way too often.

And every time I tried to look rich on the outside, my bank account cried on the inside.

If you want to improve your financial health, you have to care less about how things look — and more about how they feel behind the scenes.

Inner peace > appearances.

8. I Found Ways to Make More Money

Yes, budgeting helps.
Yes, mindset matters.

But income matters too.

I stopped asking, “How can I survive on this paycheck?”
And started asking:

How can I make more money?
How can I use my current skills?
Is there room to negotiate my pay?

Baby steps. One move forward is enough.

Your income dictates your lifestyle.
Your lifestyle dictates your stress.
Less stress = more happiness.

9. I Learned That Being Rich Isn’t Spending Money

Being rich used to mean freedom to spend.

Now it means:

Not worrying about money when I wake up
Saying no without stress
Handling surprises without panic

That’s rich.

You don’t become rich by how much you earn.
You become rich when money stops controlling your emotions.

My Final Thoughts

If you made it this far, I want you to know this:

There is hope.

You’re not lazy.
You’re not broke because you deserve it.

You’re broke because you’ve been spending without a system or a plan.

And that can change.

Change your habits.
Change your perspective.
Start with one small step today.

I didn’t become rich overnight — and neither will you.

Just remember this:

Slow your spending.
Grow your income.
Change your mindset.

One day, you’ll look back and thank yourself for starting.

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ONWE DAMIAN

Onwe Damian Chukwuemeka is a relationship and self-improvement coach, as well as a final-year law student at the University of Calabar, Nigeria. He has distinguished himself in leadership and service, and has held key positions such as Deputy Director of Public Prosecution in the Students’ Union Government and Justice of the Malabor High Court, University of Calabar, Nigeria. Learn more about him

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