Marriage is one of the biggest steps a person takes in their entire life. It takes more than just a spark or feeling close to someone for a relationship to work.
When you feel deeply in love with someone, and they feel the same toward you, it may seem like the perfect time to get married. However, not every person is the right one to marry. Even if emotions are running high, certain red flags should never be ignored.
Before you give up your single life, it’s important to pay attention to your partner’s behaviors. If a man displays some of the behaviors on this list, it’s a clear sign to reconsider your decision about getting married. Here are five signs he may not be the one for you.
If He Does These 5 Things Don’t Marry Him
1. He Disrespects Your Boundaries
Setting boundaries is essential for a healthy relationship. If your partner does not respect your boundaries, it’s the first red flag that he may not be the right man to marry. Boundaries can range from personal space to career goals. If a man doesn’t respect your boundaries, he will slowly erode your identity and individuality after marriage.
All relationships are built on mutual respect. If he consistently ignores or crosses your boundaries—whether by invading your personal space, belittling your thoughts and emotions, or making decisions without your input—he shows a lack of respect for your needs and wants. This kind of behavior can lead to a one-sided relationship that leaves you feeling emotionally or physically drained, or worse, disrespected.
Marriage is a union of two people who can respect each other’s individuality while growing together. If he doesn’t respect your boundaries now, there’s no reason to believe he’ll change once you’re married. Boundaries are non-negotiable in every successful relationship.
What to Do Instead:
If you’re unsure whether this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, observe his actions. Does he respect the boundaries you set? If he consistently crosses them, even when clearly communicated, it’s a sign he may not be the one for you.
Related: 11 Things Every Single Woman Should Do Before Marriage
2. He’s Unwilling to Address Issues
All couples have disagreements from time to time. It’s natural to argue or misunderstand each other in a relationship. What matters is how both partners handle the issues that arise.
If your partner is unwilling to discuss an issue, avoids addressing problems, or exaggerates small issues into bigger ones, it’s a serious red flag. Communication is one of the most important foundations of a healthy relationship and, particularly, marriage.
If he constantly shuts down or becomes defensive when problems arise, it indicates a lack of willingness or capability to have mature, open conversations with you. Avoiding serious issues will only cause them to build up, leading to resentment over time. Marriage requires both partners to face challenges together and work through rough patches.
What to Do Instead:
Observe how he handles conflicts. Healthy couples may not agree on everything, but they know how to communicate with understanding, maturity, and respect. If he avoids issues, he needs to change this behavior before you even consider marriage. Otherwise, these unresolved problems will only grow worse.
Related: 10 Clear Signs He Will Never Marry You
3. He Tries to Control You
Control in any relationship, no matter how small, is unacceptable. If your partner tries to control aspects of your life—what to wear, whom to hang out with, what car to drive—it’s a clear sign he doesn’t respect you or trust you as an equal partner.
Control can range from subtle comments about your appearance to more direct control over your friendships, career, or even finances.
These behaviors are often disguised as “concern” or “care,” but they are manipulative and can become toxic. They often seem harmless at first but tend to escalate as the relationship progresses. If he’s trying to control you in any way, he’s not husband material.
What to Do Instead:
Observe his actions. Does he respect your decisions, your needs, and your independence? A healthy marriage is based on equality, trust, and mutual respect. If there’s an issue with control, it needs to be addressed immediately.
Related: 8 Signs You Are in a Narcissistic Relationship
4. He’s Not Emotionally Available
Emotional availability is key to any loving and happy marriage. Without emotional availability, it’s nearly impossible to form a deep, meaningful connection. If your partner is emotionally unavailable, or unwilling to share his feelings with you or be vulnerable, he’s not ready for marriage.
Emotional availability is important for trust and affection. A relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner can leave you feeling lonely, frustrated, and emotionally starved. Emotional unavailability can manifest as coldness, detachment, or being too busy to invest emotionally in the relationship.
What to Do Instead:
Evaluate his behavior and how he connects with you emotionally. Does he engage in meaningful conversations, or is he uninterested? Does he open up to you, or does he keep his emotions guarded? If he’s emotionally distant or unwilling to be vulnerable, it may be a sign to reconsider marriage.
Related: 10 Clear Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Man
5. He Doesn’t Share Your Values
A person’s values play a significant role in their life and marriage, reflecting what is most important to them. If his values don’t align with yours, it will create significant issues over time. Marriage is about finding someone who shares your core values and goals. Conflicts over major values—such as family dynamics, finances, or lifestyle choices—can cause stress, resentment, and arguments that are difficult to resolve.
If your core values differ greatly from his, it may be hard to find common ground on key issues. For example, if one of you values strong family ties but the other prefers isolation, it could lead to major conflict. Similarly, differences in views on finances or parenting can lead to prolonged disagreements.
Related: 60 Questions to Ask a Guy Before Dating
What to Do Instead:
Discuss your values, future goals, and important life choices before deciding to marry. If there are significant differences, address them openly to see if you can find common ground. If your values are too far apart, marriage may not be the right choice.
Conclusion
Marriage is a lifelong commitment between two people who share love, trust, respect, and open communication.
If your partner exhibits any of the behaviors listed here, it’s a sign to pause and reconsider the future of your relationship. It’s essential not to let love cloud your judgment or make you ignore warning signs that could lead to a difficult or unhealthy marriage.
Often, we believe that once we get married, certain issues will resolve themselves, but the problems you ignore now will only grow more significant over time. Before deciding to marry, take a step back and ask yourself if this is truly the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
The man you marry will be your partner in life, through all the highs and lows. Ensuring that he will love and respect you through all of life’s challenges is the key to a happy marriage.
If he shows any of the 5 signs above, it’s time to rethink your decision and prioritize your own well-being. Trust your instincts, protect your emotional health, and remember that marriage should be a source of joy and fulfillment, not stress and anxiety.
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