Cheating can feel like one of the most painful betrayals a person can experience from their partner. Having your trust broken is difficult enough the first time. Hearing those words from someone you care about again and again cuts even deeper because it’s a recurring pattern.
If you’ve ever wondered why people cheat multiple times, here’s the question you’re probably asking yourself:
“What makes someone cheat again and again?”
It’s important to remember that no two relationships are exactly alike. Anyone can cheat for reasons unique to their partnership.
That said, cheating repeatedly often isn’t an isolated problem. It usually ties back to personality traits, emotional habits, and patterns of behavior that shape how someone views commitment, responsibility, and intimacy.
Just because some people share similar patterns doesn’t mean they have the same personality. Human behavior is complex and nuanced.
Over the years, however, experts in relationships and psychology have noticed specific traits that tend to show up again and again in men who cheat repeatedly.
While we can’t say every guy who cheats shares these characteristics, we do know these traits create environments where cheating is more likely to happen.
Here are seven personality traits you usually find in men who cheat repeatedly.
Men Who Cheat Multiple Times Often Have These 7 Traits
Trait #1: They Have an External Need for Validation
One pattern you’ll find in almost all serial cheaters is validation.
A serial cheater often feels a need to be admired by others. They rely on outside sources, like other people, to validate their confidence and self-worth. Compliments, flirtation, and attention from others become addictive.
In the early stages of a relationship, they may seem normal and playful. After all, who doesn’t like social attention or being told they look nice?
The problem occurs when their ego depends on that admiration.
Let’s say you become your partner’s main source of validation and your relationship progresses into something serious. Being with you every day can feel normal and comforting, but it’s not necessarily thrilling.
Enter another person who makes your partner feel attractive and desired again. Bingo. They’ve found their new addiction.
Ask any expert in human psychology and they’ll tell you this behavior stems from insecurity, not confidence.
Look out for these signs:
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Constant flirting with other people
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They need reassurance that you find them attractive
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Seeking attention from social media followers or strangers
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Pulling away from you when they don’t feel admired at home
The problem isn’t wanting attention from others. It’s being emotionally dependent on that attention.
Related: 15 Ways People Get Away With Cheating
Trait #2: They Have a Hard Time Taking Responsibility
A recurring trait seen in people who cheat repeatedly is their inability to take responsibility for their actions.
When someone knows they’ve done something wrong, you’d expect them to apologize and change their ways, right?
Cheaters will make excuses rather than hold themselves accountable when you bring up the issue.
They say things like:
“I cheated because you were pushing me away.”
“We were already having issues.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“You didn’t really care anyway.”
“That wasn’t me.”
Rather than accepting responsibility for their behavior, they project that responsibility onto you or their circumstances.
This trait often ties back to emotional immaturity. Taking responsibility for your actions means being willing to look in the mirror and admit you were wrong. That’s not easy for some people.
Instead of dealing with guilt, it’s easier for them to protect their ego.
But this mindset is destructive to a relationship. If your partner cheated in the past and refuses to accept that they were wrong, what makes you think they won’t do it again?
Signs they won’t take responsibility include:
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Blaming others when they do something wrong
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Making excuses for their cheating
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Playing the victim when called out
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Apologizing but never changing their behavior
If someone won’t take accountability for their mistakes, they’ll probably continue making them.
Related: How To Deal With A Cheating Husband That Loves You
Trait #3: They’re Thrill Seekers
Not all men cheat because they’re unhappy or emotionally vulnerable. Some men cheat because they like the thrill of doing something forbidden.
Maybe the relationship is going great, but your partner loves the rush of looking at other women.
He enjoys the adrenaline from sending a risky text to someone other than you.
The cheating partner might even enjoy the risk of getting caught.
As you can imagine, this type of cheating falls heavily into the psychological side of human behavior. Ever heard of thrill seekers?
Thrill seekers love adrenaline and excitement. They get a rush from doing extreme activities that give them a boost of dopamine.
Just like skydiving and bungee jumping can be positive examples of thrill-seeking, cheating can give these individuals an emotional high.
Dangerous texting, behind-closed-door encounters, and sneaking around produce the same rush.
Warning signs include:
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Gets bored easily
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Loves extreme experiences and new activities
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Impulsive decision-making
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Frequently breaks rules or boundaries
If cheating is part of their “thrill cycle,” it’s likely they will do it again.
Related: 10 Things Cheating Men Buy for Their Mistresses
Trait #4: They Have Poor Emotional Boundaries
Serial cheaters often fail to set proper boundaries with others.
Your partner may let emotional intimacy build with others too quickly. Before they know it, “harmless conversations” with another person turn into explicit texting or an affair.
They tend to let other people in without considering the consequences.
When looking at the psychology of cheating, poor boundaries often result from ignorance. Your partner may not understand how quickly conversations can turn into something physical.
Warning signs include:
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Venting about your relationship to others
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Spending a lot of time with someone you know is attracted to them
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Flirty friends “they can’t help”
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Not telling you about personal conversations they have with others
While your partner probably doesn’t realize these behaviors are damaging, they weaken your relationship in the long run.
Healthy boundaries protect relationships. Weak boundaries allow cheating to happen.
Trait #5: They Feel Entitled
One trait that can go hand-in-hand with poor boundaries is a sense of entitlement.
Entitlement is when someone believes their needs, wants, and desires should come before others.
In relationships, you may even notice they have a double standard.
They want you to be loyal while promising they’ll never cheat on you. But when they cheat, they expect you to forgive them.
This sense of “I deserve this” may show up in comments like:
“Men cheat, what do you want me to do?”
“It’s not a big deal, everyone does it.”
“I want to be free!”
It’s important to note that entitlement often stems from knowing they’ll rarely face consequences for their behavior. They got away with it in the past, so they assume they’ll get away with it again.
When someone cheats repeatedly, there’s usually an invisible pattern of disrespect happening behind the scenes.
And as soon as they feel respected and loved again, they assume you’ll give them another chance.
Related: 9 Ways People Discover Their Partners Have Been Cheating On Them
Trait #6: They Have an Intimacy Problem
While some serial cheaters crave emotional intimacy with others, some men actually fear it.
Intimacy involves letting your guard down and allowing someone to see your true self. Cheaters may not want to be vulnerable with you, but that doesn’t mean they’re willing to open up to someone else either.
It’s possible your partner is scared of intimacy, which leads them to cheat.
By spreading their affection across multiple people, they never have to feel too close to anyone.
Signs that your partner avoids intimacy include:
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Can’t hold deep conversations with you
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Pulling away when you talk about the future
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Being reluctant to share their goals or dreams
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Hiding things from you
While cheating is a sign of disrespect, for some people it can also be a way of coping with insecurity about emotional attachment.
Related: 30 Things Cheaters Always Lie About
Trait #7: They’re Impulsive
The last trait you’ll often find in serial cheaters is impulsivity.
If someone tends to go with their gut without thinking things through, temptation will get them every time.
Let’s say Jon tends to make decisions based on his emotions. One night, Jon feels attracted to a girl at a bar. Since he’s impulsive, he goes home with her even though he’s in a relationship.
Jon cheated impulsively and immediately regretted his actions when he thought about it later.
Jon cheated because he acted on immediate thoughts and emotions rather than looking at the bigger picture.
These are signs your partner may be impulsive:
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Makes decisions very quickly
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Lets emotions take over during arguments
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Can’t delay gratification
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Has a history of repeating the same mistakes
Because your partner cheats when something tempting comes along, it only takes one moment for them to cheat again.
Conclusion
Cheating more than once usually isn’t an isolated problem.
Your partner cheating repeatedly is likely the result of deeper traits such as a need for validation, poor boundaries, impulsivity, fear of intimacy, or other patterns we listed above.
Keep in mind that just because your partner has one or more of these character traits, it doesn’t guarantee they’ll cheat.
We mention these seven traits because they often contribute to repeat cheating.
But people aren’t predetermined by personality guides or cheat sheets. Certain traits may increase the likelihood of cheating, but people can learn, grow, and change with time.
If you suspect your partner is cheating or has cheated multiple times in the past, remember to take care of yourself.
You deserve to be with someone who respects your relationship enough to remain faithful.
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