Cheating on his wife is a reality that many men experience in their lives. While some cheat simply for moments of lust, excitement, or adventure, many others discover over time that they connect with their mistresses on a deeper level than they do with their wives.
It’s a topic that most prefer to keep taboo, but the emotional connection that men can have with their mistresses is undeniably different.
A man might become happier with his mistress than his wife due to numerous emotional nuances and the romantic relationship he shares with her.
While there are clear signs that a man is having an affair, there are subtler ways in which he might be happier with someone else than with his wife.
These signs go beyond the obvious, delving into the underlying emotional shifts in a man’s behavior and communication patterns.
9 Signs A Man Is Happier With His Mistress Than With His Wife
1. He starts emotionally distancing himself from his wife.
A man who is happier with his mistress may also start emotionally pulling away from his wife. He may become less interested in the daily details of her life—no longer engaging in conversations, asking about her day, or listening to her problems.
He might be physically present but mentally checked out. This is not just about spending less time at home or being physically distant; it’s about the emotional disconnection that starts to seep into the relationship. The joy, laughter, and emotional intimacy that were once there start to fade, and this is a clear sign that something is amiss.
The emotional energy he uses to connect with his mistress is often missing in his interactions with his wife. He may be more attentive, involved, and present with her, going out of his way to ensure she feels special and loved.
This could be late-night calls, random check-ins during the day, or simply being more engaged when they are together. This imbalance in emotional investment is one of the more subtle signs of infidelity.
Related: 10 Signs He’s Torn Between His Wife and His Lover
2. He showers his mistress with compliments, but not his wife.
All relationships need a healthy balance of admiration and affection. However, if he suddenly starts lavishing his mistress with compliments, it’s time to take notice.
This could be about her looks, her intelligence, her sense of humor, or even her achievements. He might express his admiration in ways he never did with his wife, and this excessive praise often reflects the lack of admiration he feels in his marriage.
It’s possible that his wife has stopped making him feel good about himself, or he has found in his mistress the qualities he always wanted in a partner. This is not to say that all men will shower their mistresses with compliments, but if it’s a stark change from how he interacts with his wife, it’s a definite warning sign.
3. He starts making excuses to avoid spending time with his wife.
Excuses, excuses, and more excuses. If a man finds reasons to avoid spending time with his wife regularly, it’s not always about something trivial.
He might have work commitments, need some alone time, or attend events where his wife can’t or doesn’t want to join. While everyone (man or woman) needs alone time, when it becomes a pattern, it’s a red flag.
He will be more than willing to spend time with his mistress, often rearranging his schedule or making excuses to see her. The time he prioritizes for the mistress, over his wife, is one of the most glaring signs that he is happier elsewhere.
Related: 10 Things Married Men Confide Only To Their Mistresses
4. He becomes more physically intimate with his mistress.
Sex, the most basic human need, can often reveal the truth about a relationship. If he is happier with his mistress than his wife, he will likely be more physical with her.
This can mean more frequent intimate encounters or more enthusiastic participation. His lack of interest, disinterest, or avoidance of physical intimacy with his wife is often because he is getting what he wants elsewhere.
He is not uninterested in sex with his wife per se, but more that the passion and effort he exerts with his mistress take the edge off the relationship. It’s not always about the frequency of sexual activity, but the emotional energy and effort he invests in it.
5. He changes his behavior and personality.
A man who is happier with his mistress often changes his behavior and personality. He might adopt new habits, interests, or even a new look that he didn’t have before.
He may suddenly take an interest in activities he would never have considered before or start dressing in a way that makes him feel more desirable.
These changes aren’t necessarily about the mistress herself but about the newfound confidence and satisfaction he’s experiencing outside his marriage. A man will often feel more attractive, more desired, and more fulfilled when he is happier with his mistress.
Related: 9 Reasons Men Fall in Love with Their Mistress
6. He avoids making future plans with his wife.
Commitment is another key aspect of any long-term relationship. If he is happier with his mistress, he may start to shy away from making future plans with his wife.
He might avoid conversations about planning vacations, financial goals, or even long-term decisions about their shared life. Anything that requires joint effort, long-term commitment, or planning is now something he actively avoids.
But with his mistress, he may start to discuss the future with excitement, looking forward to where their relationship might go, and how their lives might align.
The stark contrast between his lack of interest in planning for his marriage and his willingness to do so for the mistress relationship is a clear sign of where his loyalties lie.
7. He doesn’t try to fix problems in his marriage.
Marriages go through ups and downs, and a key part of a successful relationship is working through the problems together.
However, if he is happier with his mistress, he will likely become disengaged from the process of fixing his marriage. He may stop trying to work on issues, whether it’s communication problems, intimacy issues, or trust concerns.
The sense of urgency to mend the marriage is gone because he’s already found what he needs elsewhere. He’s happy that he’s found the solution to his problems, and it’s not his wife. On the other hand, he might be willing to work through problems with his mistress because it’s new, exciting, and full of potential.
8. He becomes more secretive and lies more often.
Secrecy is often one of the most significant signs that a man is happier with his mistress than his wife. He might start lying more, or at least hiding more details about his actions.
He might delete text messages, lie about his whereabouts, or become defensive when questioned by his wife. This is not just about keeping the affair a secret, but about maintaining the illusion of a happy marriage while he’s living his double life.
At the same time, he might be more open and honest with his mistress. She might be the only person he confides in, the only person he can be his true self with. The imbalance in communication between his wife and his mistress is a big warning sign.
9. He becomes apathetic about his wife’s needs.
Empathy is an essential part of any relationship, and a man who is happier with his mistress will start to show a lack of empathy towards his wife.
He might have been attentive, supportive, or even protective of her before, but now he seems indifferent to her struggles, desires, or fears.
He might dismiss her feelings, brush off her attempts to connect emotionally, or simply not care about what she’s going through.
At the same time, he might seem more attuned to his mistress’s needs. He might give her more attention, comfort, and care than he does to his wife, showing that he’s invested in her well-being in a way that he’s not with his wife.
Reasons: 12 Things Men Say To Avoid Getting Caught In An Affair
Conclusion
While these signs are not an exhaustive list, they are some of the most common and telling indicators that a man might be happier with his mistress than his wife.
Infidelity is often a complex issue that requires deep introspection and communication between both partners, but these signs can be a starting point for a wife to gauge her husband’s emotional state and relationship with his mistress.
If a wife suspects that her husband is happier with someone else, it’s essential to address the issue directly and honestly, seeking professional help if necessary.
Ultimately, it’s crucial to remember that every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple might not work for another.
While these signs can be a wake-up call for a wife to evaluate her marriage, they can also be a catalyst for her to make changes and work toward a healthier future, whether with her husband or someone else.
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