Narcissists love to have control and power over other people. They like to control others’ emotions, thoughts, and actions. Narcissists feel the need to have control in order to feel superior to others. When narcissists start to lose control over people, it can feel scary to them—and to the people they are trying to control.
Narcissists will go to any extreme to regain control and attention. However, once a narcissist begins to lose control over someone, it is a sign that they are losing power in the relationship. As soon as a narcissist realizes they no longer have control over you, they will try to do everything they can to regain it.
If a narcissist starts to show signs of losing control, it can be an extremely difficult time for both the narcissist and the person being controlled. However, being aware of the signs of a narcissist losing control can help you deal with the situation.
Signs A Narcissist Is Losing Control Over You
1. They Start to Gaslight More
Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation in which a narcissist attempts to make their victim question their own reality or sanity. When a narcissist feels like they are losing control over you, they will resort to gaslighting more. They will make things up, tell blatant lies, or deny things they have already said or done.
2. Their Narcissistic Rage Escalates
If a narcissist is losing control over someone, they will usually become angry, lashing out at others in frustration. This is a sign of a narcissist losing control and is a huge sign that they are losing control of their emotions. Narcissistic rage can come out verbally, emotionally, or even physically.
Related: 7 Tactics Narcissists Use To Keep You Small
3. They Start to Use Guilt in Excess
Narcissists are well-known for guilt-tripping others. However, if they feel like they are losing control, they will start using guilt trips even more. Narcissists will blame you for everything and make you feel responsible for any negative emotions or actions they express, even if it’s not your fault. They will go to great lengths to make you feel guilty.
4. They Start to Spread Lies About You
Spreading rumors or lies about someone is another sign of a narcissist losing control. When a narcissist feels they can no longer control a person, they will start spreading lies and rumors about them. Narcissists do this to try to win back some power over the person by tarnishing their name and turning other people against them.
Related: How To Respond To Narcissistic Manipulation
5. They Start to Take Away Emotional Support
Another sign of a narcissist losing control is when they stop offering emotional support. A narcissist loves to be the center of attention. However, if they notice they are no longer able to control you or get the responses they want, they may withdraw their emotional support and affection. They may do this by withholding attention or affection to make you feel like you’re losing something and force you back into their control.
6. They Start to Use the Silent Treatment on You
The silent treatment is a common form of punishment used by narcissists. If a narcissist starts using the silent treatment more frequently, it could be a sign that they are losing control. A narcissist will ignore you or cut off all communication in an attempt to get you to chase them.
7. They Start to Withhold Sex or Intimacy
When a narcissist starts losing control, they may use sexual activity or intimacy as a form of control. Narcissists will use things like sex as a way to control others’ emotional needs in the relationship. If you have a narcissist in your life, they may start withholding sex as a power play when they lose control over you.
Related: How A Narcissist Brainwashes You
8. They Try to Turn Your Friends or Family Against You
Narcissists know that, to control you, they must take away your support network. As soon as a narcissist feels they are losing control over you, they will turn to your friends or family to drive a wedge between you and them. This can take the form of gaslighting your friends or family and turning them against you, or by making you doubt the relationships between you and your support network.
9. They Start to Show Insecurity or Vulnerability
A sign of a narcissist losing control is when they begin showing signs of insecurity or vulnerability. A narcissist usually will never show weakness because they always want to seem superior to others. However, once they start losing control, they may begin to show vulnerability, making them seem weak and less confident than usual. When this happens, a narcissist often plays the victim.
10. They Start to Criticize You More
Another sign of a narcissist losing control is if they start criticizing you more than usual. A narcissist will criticize everything you do, from how you dress to the decisions you make. When a narcissist feels as though they are losing control, they will use criticism to break you down and try to regain control.
Related: How to Protect Yourself from a Narcissistic Mother
11. They Start to Play the Victim
A sign of a narcissist losing control is when they begin playing the victim card more often. A narcissist will do this to gain sympathy from others and make themselves seem like the one in the wrong. They will use the victim mentality to make you feel guilty and make you feel as though you owe them something.
12. They Start to Overcompensate With Flattery
When a narcissist feels like they are losing control over someone, they often overcompensate with flattery. They will excessively compliment you and try to make you feel like you owe them something in an attempt to reel you back in.
13. They Start to Discredit Your Opinions
When a narcissist is losing control over you, they will begin discrediting your opinions. A narcissist will make you question your own intelligence and make you feel as though your opinion doesn’t matter. This is a form of gaslighting, which is a common tactic used by narcissists.
14. They Start to Become Jealous or Possessive
Jealousy and possessiveness are also signs of a narcissist losing control over someone. A narcissist will often be jealous and possessive of the people they love, wanting to have complete control over them. However, when they start losing control, this possessiveness becomes more pronounced.
Related: How to Help a Narcissistic Person Without Losing Yourself
15. They Start to Threaten or Intimidate
Threats and intimidation are also signs of a narcissist losing control. A narcissist will often use these tactics to regain control over someone. This can take the form of verbal threats or even physical violence.
Conclusion
If a narcissist is starting to lose control over you, there are several signs you should be on the lookout for. Once you notice any of the signs mentioned above in a narcissist, it could indicate that they are losing control.
Narcissists will go to great lengths to regain control, so it’s essential to recognize the signs and stay strong when dealing with them. Don’t fall for the manipulation tactics of a narcissist, as these are signs that they are starting to lose power in the relationship.
If you are being controlled by a narcissist, it’s important to break free and set healthy boundaries. If a narcissist is showing any of the above signs, trust your instincts and reach out to friends, family, or professional help if needed.
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