10 Phone Habits I’ve Noticed That Can Help Spot a Narcissist

Have you ever noticed certain phone habits that seem to point to a deeper personality trait? For me, I’ve learned that narcissistic behaviors often reveal themselves through how someone interacts with their phone.

Narcissism isn’t just about grandiosity and seeking admiration in person—it thrives in today’s digital world. As we use smartphones to navigate our lives, it’s easier to see how these devices help narcissists feed their need for validation and control. Over time, their phone habits become unmistakable signs of their true nature.

Here are 10 phone habits I’ve noticed that can help spot a narcissist:

1. Constantly Checking Social Media Notifications

It’s almost impossible for a narcissist to resist checking their social media notifications. They thrive on validation, and the moment they post something, they obsessively monitor how many likes and comments they’re getting.

For example, when a narcissist posts a photo, they won’t just check once—they refresh the feed repeatedly, hunting for approval. If their post doesn’t get the attention they want, they might feel deflated and try posting again.

Related: How Narcissists Make You Look Crazy

2. Obsessing Over Selfies and Self-Promotion

Narcissists often flood their social media with selfies, carefully staged to highlight their best features. They curate their online image meticulously, ensuring they receive admiration and praise.

For instance, you might see them posting selfies multiple times a day, each one more polished than the last. The goal isn’t just to share a moment but to ensure they’re always the center of attention.

Related; 10 Apologies Narcissists Give To Manipulate You

3. Exaggerating Accomplishments Online

Another classic trait of narcissism is the tendency to exaggerate accomplishments. Narcissists often embellish or fabricate details to appear more accomplished. For example, they might share a LinkedIn update about landing a new job, but inflate their role in the hiring process. It’s about projecting an image of success, one that positions them as superior to others.

4. Ignoring Texts or Calls from “Unimportant” People

Narcissists prioritize those they perceive as valuable to their image—people who can give them praise, admiration, or resources. If you’re not in their inner circle or you can’t offer them something, your texts or calls might go unanswered. But if someone “important” reaches out, they’ll respond instantly. Their phone habits reveal how selective they are about who they engage with.

Related; How To Turn The Table On A Narcissist

5. Constantly Posting to Stay Relevant

Narcissists are driven by a fear of being forgotten. They post regularly, often with no new or meaningful content, just to stay visible. Whether it’s a photo or a motivational quote, their goal is to stay in the spotlight. They want to maintain a constant presence in their followers’ feeds, reminding them of their “importance.”

6. Engaging in “Look-at-Me” Behavior

Narcissists love to be the center of attention, and they use their phones to get there. Whether it’s through posting provocative photos or tagging others in their posts, they seek admiration. For example, a narcissist might post a photo with a caption like, “Another amazing day—feel free to admire me!” Their phone is an extension of their desire to be seen and praised.

7. Getting Defensive Over Negative Comments

Narcissists have fragile egos, and any criticism feels like a personal attack. They’ll often react defensively to negative comments, engaging in long arguments or deleting the comments entirely. If their image is challenged, they’ll fight back aggressively or erase anything that threatens their narrative.

Related: Why Narcissists Move On So Quickly (From My Perspective)

8. Displaying Unusual Jealousy or Envy

Narcissists are often envious of others who receive more attention or praise. For example, if they see someone else post about a recent achievement, they might feel threatened and competitive. Instead of celebrating their friend’s success, they may feel resentment or jealousy. This jealousy often plays out on social media, where they might try to one-up others or seek more validation for themselves.

9. Avoiding “Real-Life” Conversations for Digital Interactions

Narcissists often prefer texting or social media over face-to-face conversations because it allows them to control the narrative. Real-life discussions, with their unpredictability and emotional depth, are less appealing. They’re more comfortable curating their image online than engaging in authentic, vulnerable interactions.

10. Using Their Phone to Control Others

Finally, narcissists often use their phones to manipulate and control others. They might send passive-aggressive texts, guilt-trip people, or post cryptic messages designed to influence how others behave. Their phone becomes a tool for maintaining power in relationships, manipulating how others see them or respond to their demands.

The Bottom Line

These habits might seem like small, everyday actions, but when put together, they reveal a pattern of narcissistic behavior. Narcissists use their phones as tools for validation, self-promotion, and control. By recognizing these signs, you can better understand the narcissistic tendencies in people around you.

If you want to explore more on the topic, check out the research published in the Journal of Research in Personality. The study is about the connection between narcissism and social media addiction, and how these phone habits are tied to deeper psychological needs.