30 Things Cheaters Always Lie About

Getting cheated on is one of the most miserable experiences that can happen in a relationship. When someone you love and trust breaks their word to you, it’s a special kind of betrayal that can wound you deeply.

But it’s not only their infidelity that hurts—it’s also the lies they tell to cover it up. Lying is a significant part of cheating. They lie to avoid getting caught, to protect themselves from the consequences, and to maintain their other relationships.

They rarely tell the truth. If you ask them a direct question, they’ll dodge it, deflect the blame onto you, or gaslight you to throw you off their scent.

As a victim of cheating, you were probably picking up on signs that your intuition was trying to warn you that something was wrong. If you suspect someone is lying to you about cheating, you’re probably right.

There are certain things cheaters almost always lie about, and the little inconsistencies in their stories are where the lies can’t cover up the truth.

Here are the 30 things cheaters almost always lie about to protect their affair and the web of lies surrounding it.

30 Things Cheaters Almost Always Lie About

Where They’ve Been
They will always lie about their whereabouts if they’ve been meeting up with someone. They’ll say things like “working late,” “running errands,” “out with friends,” or “having drinks with a coworker” when they were actually with someone else.
Who They Were With
If you ask them about a specific time when you suspect something, they will make up a name, change their story, or give a vague answer in order to avoid suspicion.
Why They Didn’t Answer Their Phone
When they miss your calls or take a long time to answer the phone, they’ll give you excuses like, “I didn’t hear it ring,” “It was on silent,” or “My battery died.”
Their Work Schedule
“Extra shifts,” “last-minute meetings,” and “office parties” are common cheating excuses. They love using work as an excuse because it’s believable and difficult to verify.
Their Friendships
Passing someone off as “just a friend” is an easy way to make an affair seem less suspicious.
Late Nights Out
Cheaters often justify coming home late by blaming traffic, “networking events,” or other people they need to help or meet up with.
Deleted Messages
When you go through their phone and notice missing texts or call logs, they’ll come up with ridiculous excuses like, “I just cleared my phone to make space,” “It was something unimportant,” or “You saw it by accident.”
Sudden Privacy with Their Phone
If they suddenly start locking their phone, hiding apps, or flipping their phone over, they will often hide behind phrases like, “I value my privacy” or “You’re being too nosy.”
Unexplained Expenses
Charges for restaurants, hotels, or gifts are brushed off as “business expenses,” “tips,” or presents for family and friends.
Emotional Distance
Cold behavior or rejection is blamed on being “tired,” “stressed,” or “going through something personal.”
Loss of Intimacy
A loss of interest in affection or physical intimacy is often blamed on being “busy,” “not in the mood,” or “stress.”
Sudden Interest in Their Appearance
Changes in clothes, fitness routines, or grooming are explained as wanting to look nice for themselves, not to impress someone else.
Strange Smells
Perfume, cologne, or other unfamiliar scents are excused as them “hugging a coworker” or “sitting near someone.”
Their Social Media Activity
Likes, secretive messages, or hidden accounts are brushed off as “nothing” or “being friendly.”
Mysterious Gifts
Gifts you didn’t give them are claimed to be from a coworker’s birthday, a sibling, or charity.
New Hobbies
If they take up new interests or develop new habits, they will say they’ve “always been into it” even though it’s something new.
Extra Cash Withdrawals
Random withdrawals from their bank account will be blamed on “gas,” “lunch,” or “helping a friend.”
Random Mood Swings
Defensiveness or sudden irritability is explained away by saying you’re “overthinking” or they’re “just stressed.”
Weekend Plans
Strange solo plans or frequent getaways will be passed off as “hanging with friends” or “needing some alone time.”
Work Trips
Business trips are some of the most convenient cheating lies. They may exaggerate or even fabricate travel that doesn’t exist.
Odd Phone Numbers
Strange numbers on their phone bill are quickly dismissed as “wrong numbers,” “spam calls,” or business clients.
Car Mileage
Extra mileage on their car is explained away as “running errands” or “driving around to clear my head.”
Friends Covering for Them
They may have their friends help them cover lies by claiming they were with them when they weren’t.
Sudden Overprotectiveness
If you go through their phone or computer, they will act like it’s a “privacy issue” or “about trust” in order to hide what they’re doing.
Unexplained Gifts to Themselves
Shopping bags or receipts will trigger lies like, “Oh, I bought this for you,” but they backpedal when questioned further.
Excessive Use of Social Media or Messaging Apps
If they’re glued to their phone or messaging apps, they’ll tell you it’s “work stuff” or “just scrolling.”
Sudden Change in Routine
Significant changes to their daily schedule will be blamed on “trying something new” or “being spontaneous.”
Strange Behavior Around You
Suspicious behavior, such as guilt, being overly nice, or defensiveness, will be excused as “being tired” or “having a bad day.”
Lack of Future Plans
Cheaters may avoid making future commitments by saying they “just want to live in the moment” to dodge the question.
Denying Everything
The biggest lie of all: when confronted with the truth, cheaters will often flat-out deny their actions, saying things like, “You’re imagining things” or “You’re being paranoid.”

Why Cheaters Lie

Cheaters lie for several reasons:

To protect themselves from the consequences of their actions
To avoid conflict or questions from their partner
To hide and maintain their affair without getting caught
To gaslight you and control the narrative

Patterns of Lying and Trusting Your Instincts

Does every lie mean cheating? No, but if you notice a pattern of repeated dishonesty, it’s a major red flag.

Inconsistencies in their story and defensiveness when confronted are also good indicators something is wrong. Trust your instincts and that nagging feeling when something feels off.

What to Do If You Suspect a Partner Is Lying

Stay calm: Acting out of anger will cloud your judgment and prevent you from thinking clearly.
Look for patterns: One small lie isn’t evidence of cheating, but repeated dishonesty over time is a sign of trouble.
Ask direct questions: Ask honest questions and see if their story changes or contradicts itself.
Get support: Friends, family, or a therapist can help you gain perspective.
Protect yourself: If the lies become too much to handle, set boundaries, go no contact, and decide what steps you need to take.

Final Thoughts

Cheating is bad enough, but the lies that cover it up can be even more hurtful. Lies confuse you, destroy trust, and make you doubt your intuition. Always trust your gut—if something feels off, it probably is.

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ONWE DAMIAN

Onwe Damian Chukwuemeka is a relationship and self-improvement coach, as well as a final-year law student at the University of Calabar, Nigeria. He has distinguished himself in leadership and service, and has held key positions such as Deputy Director of Public Prosecution in the Students’ Union Government and Justice of the Malabor High Court, University of Calabar, Nigeria. Learn more about him

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