Affairs are emotionally and mentally draining experiences for the involved parties. There are numerous ways a person cheats in a relationship, but the most disappointing is always the cover-up by lies and deception. The pain of being cheated on will only deepen the longer you try to hide it.
Women and men cheat, but both have particular ways of doing it and covering up their actions. These are some of the things men may say to keep their lover away from their secrets.
These phrases are intended to pull the wool over your eyes, distract you from the issue at hand, and save themselves from any serious consequences or punishments.
Things Men Say To Avoid Getting Caught In An Affair
1. “It’s Just Work, I’m Really Busy”
If a man is caught up in an affair, this is one of the first things he will blame the misconduct on: work. This becomes the number one reason he has changed his behavior recently or why he’s acting completely different.
When he’s away for long hours or on unexplained business trips, it’s blamed on the job. It becomes clear to him why his spouse no longer receives his attention at home.
If he has a “busy” wife to return to, all he needs to do is stay away until she’s less occupied. He has found an ideal way to avoid questions by justifying his alibi. In this way, the man also has a perfect excuse for his late nights out, pretending that he is so tired and busy with work that he no longer needs to be seen at home.
Related: 7 Signs Your Husband Is Cheating on You Emotionally
2. “You’re Just Being Paranoid”
A worried partner might have every right to express their feelings, but the last thing a cheating partner wants to deal with is a paranoid spouse who exaggerates every little slip. This is exactly how the cheating husband will describe a fretful wife and try to convince her to be more considerate of his feelings.
Men often use this line to get out of sticky situations they find themselves in due to cheating. It is an effective way of blowing their spouse’s outbursts out of proportion, leaving them feeling insecure or guilty.
Related: 15 Signs He Is Micro-Cheating on You
3. “She’s Just a Friend”
This phrase is often used to distract attention away from the wrongdoings of the spouse. Men and women who cheat will describe the other woman as simply a close female friend.
The interactions are often downplayed, with the cheater claiming that this woman is nothing special—just someone they can chat with or hang out with, like they would with other women in their circle. The man hopes to throw his spouse off the trail so she won’t suspect any involvement beyond friendship.
4. “I Was Just Out With the Guys”
A classic phrase used to avoid trouble is when the cheating husband claims that he was out with his friends while, in reality, he was with his mistress. He will have a story or excuse ready for any unaccounted-for time so he can quickly deflect any probing questions into his odd behavior.
His lover is entirely out of the line of fire because he tells his wife it was just “boys’ time out.” This also allows him to avoid responsibility at home, as he can hide behind the idea of socializing with his friends.
Related: 7 Signs Your Husband Might Be Considering Cheating
5. “You’re Overreacting”
This is a classic defense strategy used to divert attention in just about every two-way argument. If the cheating husband resorts to this line, it means he’s worried about being found out.
He might be offering verbal aggression or could genuinely be shocked by his wife’s outburst. Either way, he’s likely trying to regain control of the situation and make his partner feel embarrassed enough to apologize or back down.
Related: 10 Things That Happen When Narcissists Cheat
6. “I’ve Been Feeling Lonely”
This is a path of least resistance when it comes to infidelity cover-ups. A man who cheats is often vulnerable, so he may use this simple and common excuse to cover his tracks. He might tell his wife that he’s been feeling particularly lonely or neglected and needed someone to talk to.
If his partner acts on this information and becomes more attentive to his needs, she is essentially falling for this trick. If that doesn’t work, the husband will use the “loneliness” card to justify finding company elsewhere.
7. “I Was Just Trying to Help Her Out”
This is a phrase of sympathy that men often use to defend any wrongdoing. It works especially well if the person hearing it isn’t willing to press further. The man hopes to distract his spouse by framing his actions as purely altruistic, hoping she won’t suspect anything more.
This excuse is commonly used by men who have started cheating for no apparent reason. They quickly come up with this excuse to avoid serious discussions or consequences.
Related: 10 Things Married Men Confide Only To Their Mistresses
8. “I’m Just Stressed Out Right Now”
While women understand their partner’s need for space, men often use the “stress” excuse to get out of trouble. At times, a cheating husband might become emotionally distant, claiming he’s “stressed” and needs time alone. This makes his partner feel guilty for being his wife.
It’s an easy way to avoid any probing questions while making the spouse feel like it’s her fault for not offering him the space he supposedly needs.
9. “I’m Not Happy With the Marriage, But I Don’t Want to Leave You”
This is a milder form of infidelity used by many men in cheating relationships. It’s a way of making the point that they’re “honestly” unhappy but don’t want to leave the marriage. They present this in a softer light, making it seem as though they are still emotionally attached but dissatisfied.
The confession is usually followed by reassurance that they don’t want to end the relationship, even if they aren’t fully pleased with the current state of the marriage.
Related: 9 Ways Men Punish Their Wives For Cheating
10. “We Only Talk About Business”
If the man works in a field where he regularly interacts with attractive women, this excuse becomes more believable. He tries to convince his spouse that the time spent together is purely professional and business-related, despite any suspicious behavior or extended hours.
If the couple appears to be spending more time together than they should, this excuse is often a lie. If they frequently “discuss business,” especially outside of work hours, it’s likely not as innocent as it seems.
11. “It’s Not What You Think”
When confronted with clear evidence of an affair, many men will say, “It’s not what you think.” This phrase is often used to try and minimize or explain away the situation, hoping to alleviate any immediate suspicions and deflect further inquiry.
Related: 10 Ways To Tell If Someone Is Lying About Cheating
12. “I Was Just Helping Her With Personal Issues”
Men will sometimes call a relationship with another woman platonic when it is far from the truth. In these cases, the man may claim he was just offering support to the woman, hoping to evade suspicion and any uncomfortable discussions.
Final Thoughts
The preceding points highlight some of the ways men react when caught up in affairs or flings with the opposite sex. If any of these phrases have been used by your husband to prevent you from finding out more about what he’s been doing behind your back, there are some lessons you need to learn.
Infidelity is difficult for any partner to bear, but it’s important to stay cool-headed when interacting with an unfaithful spouse. Armed with this information, you can navigate the situation with greater clarity.
The unfaithful spouse can be saved through counseling if both partners are willing to work things out for the better. However, if not, you may be on the path to separation, and it may be time to part ways and move forward with your life as a single person.
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