Cheating is one of the biggest betrayals a partner can inflict, and although many will suspect their significant other of straying, few will know the truth early on in a relationship.
Cheaters are skilled at disguising their behavior at first but often reveal their true actions as time passes.
In this post, we will discuss how people commonly find out about their partner’s infidelity and the signs you can look for to piece the puzzle together.
How People Discover Their Partners Have Been Cheating On Them
1. Change in Behavior
Your partner will almost always display a change in behavior if they are cheating on you. They might suddenly become aloof, short-tempered, or evasive, and when pressed, they may become even more argumentative.
These changes occur for various reasons. Cheaters often feel guilty or stressed because of all the work they are doing to hide the relationship.
You will be able to pick up on their mood swings, as their bad moods will affect you too. They might start lying about small things, such as not being in the mood to go out or spending time with friends or family.
If your partner becomes overly defensive or starts making excuses for small things they used to not care about, it could indicate that they are cheating.
Related: 15 Signs He Is Micro-Cheating on You
2. Unexplained Absences or Strange Hours
Cheaters often have to make room for their other partner in their lives. This may take the form of working late at the office, taking multiple business trips in a week, or spending more time with friends without you. While some of these reasons are sometimes genuine, unexplained absences in any form are often suspicious.
If your partner has suddenly started making excuses for not being able to hang out with you, that should raise a red flag. Your partner’s actions may not match their words, which can point to a lie.
Have they told you they were working late, yet you know for a fact they are only 15 minutes away from home? If you’ve found yourself in this situation more than once, it’s a sure sign they are cheating on you.
Related: 10 Ways To Tell If Someone Is Lying About Cheating
3. Change in Appearance or Grooming Habits
A change in physical appearance is one of the first signs that people give off when cheating on their partners.
A person who has been cheating may start to dress differently than usual. They may also begin grooming more, such as paying more attention to their body hair, washing and styling their hair more often, or wearing different fragrances.
If your partner has suddenly shown an interest in their appearance and grooming habits that they didn’t have before, it may be because they are trying to impress someone else.
They will want to look and smell good for the other person, and the changes will be noticeable, not subtle. While this sign alone is not proof of cheating, it’s a red flag that your partner might be doing something they shouldn’t be.
4. More Time on Their Phone or Computer
Phones and laptops are some of the best tools people use to hide their cheating nowadays. If your partner starts to spend more time on their device and frequently gets off it when you approach, it is a sign of cheating.
They will often get very secretive about their phones and laptops, locking them when you’re around or changing their passwords.
Changes in their use of social media or messaging apps can also give you a hint that they are cheating. If your partner is normally open and social about their online activity but suddenly becomes very private and secretive, they might be hiding something.
If you’ve noticed that they text or talk to someone often but always hide the screen when you walk into the room or seem defensive when you ask who it is, you may be onto something.
Related: How To Confront a Cheating Boyfriend
5. Emotional Distance and Lack of Intimacy
A partner who has been cheating on you will often emotionally withdraw. If you have noticed that your partner has become distant, doesn’t talk to you as much, or isn’t as keen on being intimate, it could be a sign they are cheating. Cheating isn’t only physical; it’s also emotional.
Lack of intimacy, whether emotional or physical, can often indicate that your partner is giving their time and attention to another person.
If they are not showing interest in talking about your relationship or your future together, their heart is likely to have strayed. Partners who have cheated before will feel the same way you do because they, too, have been cheated on.
Related: Why Do Cheating Wives Stay Married?
6. Their Friends or Family Start Acting Strange
Sometimes, the people who are in on the cheating may give it away. If you’ve noticed your partner’s family or friends acting distant or reserved around you, it may be because they know about the cheating but don’t know what to do about it. They may become overly supportive or seem too distant to be normal.
On the other hand, if you’ve found yourself in a situation where your partner’s friends or family have been giving you too many opportunities to ask questions but never offering solid answers, it may be because they are aware of the situation.
A surefire way to notice this sign is if your partner’s close family members or friends start giving you excuses for their behavior or avoid making eye contact when you are in their presence.
7. Physical Evidence or Suspicious Items
Some people are very careless when it comes to covering their tracks, so you may find physical evidence or suspicious items. You might come across unfamiliar clothing, toiletries, or gifts your partner is using that you didn’t buy for them.
If you’ve seen unknown items in your partner’s car, bag, or at home, it’s a possible sign of a third party being involved in their life.
In addition to this, if you’ve come across receipts for hotels, restaurants, or shopping that you didn’t do with your partner, or even see such items in their bags, that’s a solid sign. If you notice physical evidence that is out of the ordinary and doesn’t match what your partner has told you, you should confront them.
Related: Why Do Men Love Their Wives Yet Still Find Themselves Cheating?
8. Inconsistent or Unusual Explanations
People often discover their partner’s infidelity when the cheater can’t keep up with the many lies they tell to cover their tracks.
If your partner has lied to you or given explanations that don’t add up, it could be because they are cheating. They may fabricate a series of lies, often failing to keep up with their own story and getting lost in the details.
For instance, your partner might tell you they are in one place when their GPS or location data shows otherwise, or they may give you vague answers to simple questions that you can easily verify on your own.
If you’ve noticed inconsistencies in their stories or explanations, it may be because they are not being honest with you about what they are doing.
9. You Just Have a Gut Feeling
Sometimes, the best way to discover that your partner is cheating is by simply trusting your gut. If you feel something is wrong and nothing is adding up, it’s probably because things are not as they seem.
While it may be a good idea to let things slide until you have concrete evidence that your partner is cheating, it’s equally important to trust your instincts.
You spend more time with your partner than anyone else does, and if you have a feeling that they are cheating on you, it’s probably true. Your partner may do or say the right things at the right times to make you doubt yourself, but they can’t do that all the time. If you find yourself in this situation, do not be afraid to act on your suspicions.
Conclusion
Cheating is one of the worst feelings, and it hurts more than words can describe. If you are experiencing any of the signs mentioned above, it may be time to approach your partner about your concerns.
You can also look for the items we’ve listed to see if your partner is cheating. Whatever your decision, remember that you deserve to be happy. Whether you choose to stay with or leave your partner, the truth is the best starting point to finding happiness.
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