Marriage should be a beautiful union where love, respect, communication, and intimacy run deep. When these qualities are absent, it can quickly turn into an isolating relationship where women feel left alone, unloved, and lonely.
The danger of feeling lonely in a marriage is that it can trigger the need for love and attention from elsewhere. The most dangerous places for a woman’s heart can take root, and the aftermath could be catastrophic. Therefore, it is important for a husband to understand where this danger lurks.
When A Man Keeps His Wife Lonely She Starts Loving In These Dangerous Places
1. The Virtual World – Loneliness Leads to Online Validation
The virtual world, also known as social media, is where many lonely people go first when they feel ignored and alone. It is a safe space to speak with others and receive positive feedback about what one is saying. Men, take note: A lonely wife can find the same validation, admiration, and affection from strangers online that she may not be getting from her husband.
Initially, it may begin with small emotional investments, such as flirting or being overly friendly on social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter. Before she knows it, she starts exchanging voice messages and engaging in intense one-on-one conversations with people, many of whom she doesn’t know. The intensity of these conversations may become deeper than they ever would with her husband. The frequency of these interactions can also intensify over time. To her, this is no different from having close friends with whom she can share and bond.
The reality, however, is that over time, she may develop real emotions for the people she chats with online, to the extent that she feels love and attachment for strangers. To an outsider, this may sound unrealistic, but it is more common today than most men realize.
The danger of the virtual world is that she can connect and develop intimate relationships with the people she chats with. Her husband may never know what’s going on because women can be very secretive about hiding their activities from their partners. The true danger is that virtual relationships can easily cross online boundaries and lead to infidelity.
Related: What Is Emotional Abandonment In Marriage
2. Emotional Affairs – Looking for Connection Elsewhere
When a man makes his wife feel lonely, she is likely to seek out someone else to share her feelings. Initially, this may manifest as a random conversation with a friend. She may even start a friendship with a work colleague to whom she can talk about personal matters.
An emotional affair starts with a wife sharing her innermost thoughts and feelings with another person. This person becomes the confidante, the one she trusts more than her husband, and the only person she can relate to emotionally.
A woman may become so emotionally attached to this person that she starts sharing private information—things she would never share with her husband. In the worst-case scenario, she can end up developing real feelings for this person.
The danger is that emotional affairs often cross the line into actual cheating, and they are harder to detect than physical affairs. Many women can get into emotional affairs without even realizing it. Even when they don’t lead to physical cheating, emotional affairs can damage a marriage by eroding the emotional connection between husband and wife.
Related: 10 Ways To Tell If Someone Is Lying About Cheating
3. The Workplace – Workplace Validation
The workplace is another area where a wife can connect with someone of the opposite sex and slip into dangerous territory in her marriage. The more time a person spends at work, the more time they have to develop relationships with others.
In some cases, a wife may start developing romantic or sexual attraction to a work colleague. She may bond with coworkers because she spends a lot of time at work and needs attention, camaraderie, and appreciation that her husband is not providing.
What starts as harmless banter or office gossip can quickly progress into an emotional or even sexual affair, especially when the husband is not around to fulfill these emotional needs.
The danger here is that women can sometimes get carried away and make hasty decisions. This is particularly true for a woman in a failing marriage who starts feeling special and appreciated at work. It may start with excessive flirting, eventually leading to physical affairs.
4. Friends – Sharing with the Wrong Person
Friends play a major role in a woman’s life, and sharing her problems with them is not inherently a bad idea. However, the danger arises when a wife starts revealing too much information about her marital problems to friends. This can be especially problematic if the husband is unaware of the issues his wife is facing.
The issue starts when she finds a friend who is willing to listen and show interest in her. A good friend becomes someone a lonely wife confides in. At first, it might be sharing simple things, but before long, it can turn into emotional confessions that lead to bonding and attachment.
The danger is that the husband won’t know what’s happening behind his back, and the wife will be pouring her heart out to her best friend, who is only too happy to listen. When a lonely woman’s emotions are invested elsewhere, her relationship with her husband will inevitably suffer.
Related: When You Feel No Emotional Connection with Your Husband
5. The Past – Dangerous Past Connections
When a woman feels ignored by her husband and yearns for the good old days, she may start looking back at past relationships with nostalgia that clouds her judgment. When lonely, people often tend to remember past relationships fondly, casting them in a better light than they truly were.
An old flame, high school crush, or former partner with whom the wife was once very close and intimate is often the first place a lonely wife’s heart can wander. Men, don’t be fooled by the passage of time: The heart is unpredictable, and when a wife is lonely, it can quickly be reminded of how it felt to have that old connection.
The danger is that the wife could end up falling in love with someone she shouldn’t be with. The emotional connection to the past can be powerful, making it feel very real for a lonely woman.
6. Unhealthy Self-Esteem – Dangerous Habits
Low self-esteem is another place a lonely wife can go that can be detrimental to her marriage. A woman with low self-esteem may feel unattractive, unloved, or unworthy.
This can lead to dangerous habits, such as drinking too much to feel good about herself, overeating to fill the emotional void, or more serious issues like drug abuse or sex addiction.
A woman with low self-esteem may also immerse herself in work, becoming a workaholic in an attempt to excel in her job. In effect, she replaces the emotional intimacy of marriage with unhealthy activities. This can eventually lead to even more destructive behaviors and self-destruction, ruining her marriage and her life in the process.
Conclusion
Loneliness in marriage can take root in very dangerous places. A lonely wife is emotionally vulnerable, and as such, she will look to fulfill her emotional needs in whatever way she can.
Men must be aware that the most dangerous place for their wife’s heart to wander is in their absence. When a wife is not receiving emotional validation and appreciation from her husband, she is more than willing to find it elsewhere. To her, this is no different from having close friends with whom she can share and bond.
A husband can also be blindsided by how emotionally vulnerable a lonely wife can become and the lengths she is willing to go to receive the love and appreciation she craves.
Dangerous places for a woman’s heart to wander include online relationships, emotional affairs, workplace connections, friendships, past relationships, and unhealthy habits that fill the emotional void in her marriage.
For a marriage to remain healthy, a husband must provide all the emotional love, attention, appreciation, and validation his wife needs. This ensures that she doesn’t have to seek it from dangerous places outside the relationship.
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