Friendship is meant to be a safe haven. Good friends lift you up, celebrate your victories, and stand by your side during life’s hardest moments.
But not everyone we call a friend is actually good for us. Some drain us, undermine us, or bring negativity into our lives.
The tricky part? Toxic friendships aren’t always obvious. Sometimes, it takes months—or even years—before you realize how someone has been hurting your peace of mind.
You might be wondering how to tell if your friend is toxic.
Here are 15 clear signs to look out for.
15 Signs Your Friends Are Toxic
1. They make everything about themselves.
No matter what you’re talking about—whether you’re excited or upset—the conversation always turns back to them. They interrupt, hijack the story, and hardly listen. They don’t want to hear you, they just want to be heard.
Related: 13 Clear Signs of Bad Friendship
2. They put you down (even if it’s “just a joke”).
A friend who constantly criticizes you or makes you the punchline of their jokes isn’t joking. Cruelty disguised as humor is still cruelty. If you leave feeling humiliated every time, that’s a red flag.
3. They never truly celebrate your happiness.
When something good happens—like a promotion, a new relationship, or even small wins—do they cheer you on or go quiet? Toxic friends downplay your success, change the subject, or even try to compete with you.
Related: Loyalty in friendship: How To Be A Loyal Friend Your Friends Will Be Proud of
4. They drain your energy.
Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with them. Do you feel uplifted, or mentally exhausted? Toxic friends leave you feeling drained, like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
5. They only call when they need something.
If most of your conversations start with a favor request, beware. Whether it’s money, rides, connections, or emotional support, they’ll take from you—but never show up when you need them.
6. They don’t respect your boundaries.
Healthy friends understand “yes” and “no.” Toxic ones guilt-trip you, push your limits, and get upset when you don’t go along with their plans.
Related: 30 Friendship Text Messages to send to your Friend
7. They gossip about others.
If they constantly talk behind other people’s backs, don’t assume you’re an exception. Chances are, they gossip about you too.
8. They’re envious of your growth.
Instead of encouraging you, they subtly discourage you from taking risks or make you feel guilty for leveling up. Deep down, they don’t want to see you grow.
Related: 18 Clear Signs Your Friendship is Over
9. They manipulate you.
Toxic friends use guilt, play the victim, or twist situations until you end up apologizing—even when you’re not at fault.
10. They compete instead of support.
Healthy competition can be fun, but toxic friends always try to one-up you. Your good news becomes their chance to prove they’re better.
11. They disappear when you need them.
Friendship should be a two-way street. Yet toxic friends vanish during your hardest times, only to return when they need something from you.
12. They sabotage your other relationships.
They get jealous of your other friends or your partner, create drama, or guilt you for spending time with anyone but them.
13. They dump negativity on you.
Everyone vents sometimes, but toxic friends treat you like their emotional dumpster. They rarely bring anything positive into your life.
14. You can’t be yourself around them.
Do you feel judged, ridiculed, or like you have to censor yourself? That’s not friendship. Real friends accept you as you are.
15. You feel better when they’re not around.
This is the biggest sign of all. If you feel lighter, freer, and happier without them, trust your gut. Real friends add peace to your life—not take it away.
How to Handle Toxic Friends
Recognizing toxic friendships is the first step. The next step is deciding what to do:
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Acknowledge your feelings – Don’t dismiss your hurt. If you feel drained or disrespected, that’s real.
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Set boundaries – Limit how much time or energy you give them. Saying “no” is not selfish.
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Communicate (if possible) – Sometimes people don’t realize how they act. Be honest and see how they respond.
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Decide whether to stay or let go – If nothing changes and the friendship continues to hurt you, it may be time to walk away.
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Build healthier connections – Surround yourself with people who uplift, respect, and genuinely care about you.
Final Thoughts
Toxic friendships can be just as damaging as toxic romantic relationships. They drain your energy, your confidence, and your joy. True friends should make you feel supported, safe, and valued.
So ask yourself: do you recognize these signs in your friendships? Life is too short to hold on to people who take away your peace. Choose friends who truly add love and happiness to your world.
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