Love is messy. Relationships are messy. Even people, period, are messy.
If you’ve ever had a relationship or a sexual/romantic connection that didn’t go quite the way you expected, then you’re familiar with how all of these emotions can get tangled up, leaving you scratching your head, trying to figure out what’s happening.
Does he like me, or is he just being friendly? Is he just confused or lost right now? If you’re wondering these questions, you’re probably in the company of a married man who’s showing signs that he’s fighting his feelings for you.
While each individual is unique in their own way, as are all unique situations, there are still common signs that a married man is feeling confused and emotional.
It’s important to understand, though, that this is not always black and white. A man who is married is not only dealing with his own feelings, but he’s also married to another person. Their emotional side of things is something we can’t help but get into.
Yes, it’s important to be cognizant of what your married man might be going through. If you’re asking the question, “Does he like me?” you want to know the answer.
These 9 signs will let you know if a married man is fighting his feelings for you.
9 Signs A Married Man Is Fighting His Feelings For You
1. He Makes Excuses to Hang Out With You
A man might not outright say that he’s attracted to you, but your instincts will start to tingle when he does little things that suggest otherwise.
A married man who is having a hard time with his feelings is also probably one who will go out of his way to find excuses to hang out with you. If you’re starting to notice that your married man is always finding reasons to spend time with you and is a lot more active than he’s been in the past, then you’ve found the first sign that he’s fighting his feelings.
He’s not just working with you and occasionally running into you in other places as a means of socializing; instead, it’s an “always” and “everywhere” type of situation.
Suddenly, he asks you to help him with work, you’ve started to see each other by “accident” at the same coffee shop, and he’s making up excuses to spend time with you outside of work.
It could be during a work happy hour, where you meet each other in a situation that you both know there are other people, a dinner based around work colleagues, or something along the lines of a general male/female connection that doesn’t overtly mention the two of you but finds you two partners to spend time together.
He’s really starting to work to create one-on-one time with you, and that’s a huge sign that he’s fighting his feelings for you, but just doesn’t know how to handle it.
Related: Why Would a Married Man Be Interested in Me?
2. He Shows Physical Attraction, But Keeps It Subtle
Attraction goes beyond words. There is body language that will tell you this married man is into you. Think about all the times you see men who are single in a position to be near you. Where do their hands go? How do they stand? It’s more than just talk; it’s how they act with their entire body.
A married man will also be showing physical attraction to you, but in a much more subtle way. He knows that the line is crossed when you two are in this intimate relationship, and as such, his body language is something that he will likely be consciously fighting to keep it hidden. He may go out of his way to make sure that his body language aligns with his words.
He’s using his body to try to keep things at a calm level. His arms may be crossed, or he’ll hold himself differently. You’ll also start to notice that he’s making his body move in tandem with you when he’s talking. He may take steps to be closer to you (without being overly close), where he can hear you better, or even mirror your body language as you talk to him.
The problem with married men, however, is that this conscious effort to keep his body language in line with his words will likely result in small slips.
While a single man can let his body language run free to show his attraction, a married man is fighting those desires the entire time he’s around you. He’ll also make sure that when you two are together, his attraction remains subtle, but it’s something he’ll likely struggle with the closer you two get.
Related: 8 Things a Married Man Should Never Lie About
3. He Is Protective of You
A married man may also be more protective of you than you are used to with other men you work with. This is a good thing, as it shows he cares.
It could be a deeper level of emotional investment in terms of the type of protection he has for you. He might notice that you are in a situation where you need help, and he might volunteer or step in to assist you. He might also try to offer you advice or be overly concerned when things seem to be going awry for you.
He may also become emotionally attached to you and any perceived problems you might have. His emotions for you in this situation run deep, and as a result, you could find that he is more concerned when things are bad for you and quickly forgets when times are good. He also has more of a vested interest in your happiness, because a problem for you is a problem for him.
Related: What Does It Mean When a Married Man Calls You Dear?
4. He Talks About His Marriage (But Is Vague About It)
A married man who’s fighting his feelings may talk about his marriage to you, but in a way that is often vague. He’s married, but at the same time, there’s a bit of drama between the two of you that makes him feel as though he should also be dishing the dirt about his home life.
He might not go into much detail about his spouse or his home life, but you’ll start to hear stories about how his marriage is “complicated” or “a bit rocky right now” or that his wife isn’t doing anything particularly helpful for him.
It’s all presented in a neutral way, but is just enough to get your interest. This married man is also more than likely to complain and be negative but will never directly place any blame on his spouse. In fact, he might avoid making any serious changes to his situation (like separating or divorcing) altogether.
5. He Compliments You More Than Usual
Flattery is a huge thing, especially when you realize you’re getting a lot more of it from someone who is married. While men tend not to say overly personal things like this, you’re likely going to notice that the compliments are coming at a rate that is more than normal. You may have always had your ego stroked a bit by your married man, but now it’s constant.
Whether it be little asides about the way you move, the way you talk, the way you dress, or how smart you are, those types of things start to become more noticeable when they happen.
It’s not uncommon for you to notice a married man being overly generous with how he talks to you about your physical attributes, either. When compliments are more frequent or more pronounced than normal, it’s something that starts to raise red flags as him crossing the line.
Related: What Does It Mean When a Married Man Texts You Every Day?
6. He Avoids Talking About His Spouse
When a married man is talking to you about a problem he’s facing and it comes up that he has a spouse, he may either change the subject entirely or make up a reason to discontinue the conversation.
It can be similar to the situation when he’s talking about his marriage but with less detail. He’s already covering up that his marriage is “a bit rocky” or “in a tough spot,” but when you two are talking about it, he likely will avoid direct communication.
A married man will often get flustered at the idea of his home life. He may also have problems with his marriage but won’t be willing to discuss them. He’ll simply shut down and change the subject entirely. You may even find that he won’t even use his spouse’s name when it comes to conversations about his home life.
7. He Gets Jealous When You Talk About Other Men
Jealousy is one of the easiest signs that someone has feelings for you. A married man is likely to feel a sense of jealousy when you talk about other men, especially if you are talking about them in a flirty or sexually suggestive way.
If he tries to hide it, you’ll be able to pick up on this by the changes in his demeanor. It could be in the way he becomes silent suddenly or his reactions in ways you might not expect.
He may also start to provide unsolicited opinions about men that you are dating or talking to. He might do this in a way that he hopes will gain your favor but could end up rubbing you the wrong way. Jealousy is difficult to hide, even for a married man.
8. He Acts Distant or Cold at Times
Oddly enough, a married man will sometimes pull away to the point of acting distant or cold at times. If a married man you’re talking to suddenly makes you feel like you’re bothering him, then he’s likely one of the ones struggling with his emotions.
He may be having a hard time with his feelings, and as a result, he’s starting to pull back. It can make you feel like you’re prying or that you’ve done something wrong when he’s really just trying not to talk to you as much.
He’s likely struggling with his feelings for you and trying to suppress them. When a married man suddenly acts cold, he may be fighting these urges he’s feeling.
9. He Tries to Be Supportive, But Exceeds the Boundaries of Friendship
A man who’s married but fighting his feelings for you will be unusually supportive for someone in a non-romantic relationship.
A married man will likely cross the boundaries of normal platonic relationships in the type of support he gives to you. He’ll go out of his way to help you with personal issues or just be there as someone you can rely on.
He’ll do things that a normal friend would not necessarily do in a professional capacity, and they’re also going to be things that are incredibly intimate.
These could be in the form of personal things like talking about emotions or situations far deeper than the two of you just being coworkers. It can also be in ways that are unusual or far exceeding the scope of the relationship between you and him. He’s taking that step to become more than just a friend.
Final Thoughts
It’s important to keep in mind that just because a person has the potential to be into you, it doesn’t mean they are automatically acting on it.
There are ways you can pick up on a married man fighting his feelings, but at the end of the day, you should also trust your instincts. People are complex, and the reasons why he is doing these things could be complicated.
If he is married, he may be experiencing emotional confusion. Emotional confusion can lead to a person acting out of character but doesn’t always mean they’re going to jump into an affair or start acting on their feelings toward you.
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