If You Want Peace in Your Marriage, Avoid These 10 Things

Every marriage is created in the name of peace. We all want a home where we can feel safe and secure, where we can laugh together and still find joy in the small things. We all long to be known by our spouse, to feel loved, wanted, cherished, and protected. We want a peaceful marriage.

But peace isn’t guaranteed. Peace is earned. It is won in the quiet moments as well as during the storms. Peace is a decision—moment by moment, day by day, choice by choice, and word by word.

We all have good intentions when we enter marriage, but even the healthiest relationships can lose peace when unhealthy patterns are left unchecked.

If you truly want peace in your marriage, you will have to learn how to fight for it.

Here are ten things to avoid if you want to keep peace in your marriage.

If You Want Peace in Your Marriage, Avoid These 10 Things

1. Stop Trying to Win Every Argument

Peace is usually the first casualty of pride. The moment one partner begins to treat the other as an opponent is the moment the marriage becomes a battlefield. Of course, disagreements will happen. No two people see everything the same way. But the goal is not to win—it is to understand.

Sometimes silence is more powerful than words. Sometimes allowing your spouse to “get it off their chest” without interruption can calm things down faster than trying to prove you were right.

In a marriage, being right rarely matters when both of you end up hurt.

Related: 12 Ugly Things Women Do in Relationships

2. Avoid Comparing Your Marriage to Others

Comparing your marriage to someone else’s is one of the quickest ways to drain your joy. If you spend time scrolling through social media, it’s easy to think other couples are happier, richer, or more romantic.

The truth is, you are not in their marriage—you are in yours. Every couple has private struggles that no one sees. Social media is a highlight reel, not reality.

When you compare, you overlook your own blessings. Instead, notice the little, genuine moments you’ve shared with your spouse today. That’s where peace begins

Related: 10 Signs of a Selfish Husband in Marriage

3. Don’t Keep Score

A peaceful marriage is not a competition. When you start keeping score of who gives more, who apologizes first, or who works harder, you invite bitterness to take root.

Love doesn’t track who is right or who deserves more.

Sometimes one spouse gives more because the other is going through a difficult season. At other times, the roles reverse. That’s the beauty of marriage—it balances itself when both people are committed to the goal of us over me.

If you must keep score, count how many times you forgave, laughed, or chose love over anger.

Related: My Husband Has Destroyed Me Emotionally: What To Do

4. Never Use Silence as a Weapon

A peaceful home isn’t always a quiet one. Withholding words or affection until your spouse “earns” forgiveness doesn’t bring peace—it creates distance.

The silent treatment doesn’t solve conflict; it adds to it. It makes one person feel rejected and the other feel powerful, and that is the beginning of emotional separation.

Peace never grows from manipulation. If you’re too upset to talk, say so. “I’m upset right now, but I’ll talk to you when I’ve calmed down.” That single sentence can preserve love even in the middle of conflict.

Related: What Is Emotional Abandonment In Marriage

5. Avoid Bringing Up the Past

When arguments arise, focus on the issue at hand. Nothing kills peace faster than dragging old mistakes into new conversations.

Bringing up the past tells your partner they will never be free from it. That turns small disagreements into emotional wars.

Once forgiveness has been given, it must remain given. You cannot find peace while punishing your spouse for the same mistake over and over again. Forgive, release, and let the past stay behind you.

Related: 8 Signs a Marriage Cannot Be Saved

6. Don’t Involve Too Many Outsiders

Peace disappears when too many opinions enter your marriage. Family and friends may mean well, but they rarely know the full story. They see only what you choose to show.

The more people you let into your private matters, the harder it becomes to heal together. You start listening to everyone else and stop hearing your spouse.

If you need advice, seek it from a neutral, trustworthy counselor, not someone who will gossip or take sides. Guard your marriage as something sacred—because it is.

7. Stop Ignoring Small Acts of Kindness

Peace in marriage isn’t just about avoiding conflict. It’s also about noticing love in the small things. When your spouse makes coffee, folds your clothes, or sends a kind message during the day, that’s love being shown.

Many people wait for big romantic gestures while overlooking the quiet actions that build real connection.

Say thank you. Smile. Return the kindness. The more you notice the good, the less space there is for resentment. Peace thrives where gratitude is alive.

8. Avoid Neglecting Intimacy

Physical affection and emotional closeness are vital to a peaceful marriage. Intimacy is not only about sex—it’s about touch, tenderness, and presence.

When you stop holding hands, hugging, kissing, or spending time alone together, emotional distance grows. Over time, that distance turns into misunderstanding or suspicion.

Nurture intimacy intentionally. Create small moments of closeness every day, even during busy or stressful times. A peaceful marriage is one where both partners feel desired, valued, and emotionally safe.

9. Stop Making Assumptions

Never assume you know what your spouse feels or thinks. Assumptions cause unnecessary pain and confusion.

Maybe your spouse was quiet because they were tired, not angry. Maybe they forgot something important, not because they didn’t care, but because they were overwhelmed.

Ask instead of assuming. “Are you okay?” “Did I upset you?” “Can we talk about this?” Simple, honest questions can prevent countless arguments. Peace is built through understanding, not guessing.

10. Don’t Take Each Other for Granted

Neglect quietly destroys peace. When you stop noticing, stop saying thank you, stop showing interest, or stop appreciating your spouse, love begins to fade.

No matter how long you’ve been married, your partner still wants to feel chosen, wanted, and valued. Say thank you for small things. Offer compliments. Ask about their day. Show interest in their dreams and struggles.

Peace in marriage isn’t found in grand gestures or expensive gifts—it’s found in daily kindness and care.

Final Thoughts

Peaceful marriages aren’t perfect marriages. They’re marriages where two people have decided that love and connection matter more than ego and anger.

They still argue, still disagree, and still face challenges—but they choose to listen, forgive, and return to love again and again.

If you want peace in your marriage, protect it like a precious flame. Avoid the things that stir conflict and nurture the ones that help love grow steady and strong.

Peace in marriage isn’t about silence or avoiding problems—it’s about two people choosing each other, time and time again, even when the road is rough.

When both partners stop these ten peace-killing habits and replace them with grace, patience, and kindness, the result isn’t just a quiet home, but a happy one.

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