If you are someone who has been in any form of romantic relationship, then there are two words that would not be unfamiliar to you: chemistry and compatibility.
The two words are often used interchangeably, as most people don’t bother to understand what they actually mean or how they differ from each other.
You can have great chemistry with someone and have little or no compatibility, or you can be extremely compatible with someone but not feel the ‘spark,’ as they say.
Today, I’m going to show you the difference between these two terms.
Why is it important to understand the difference between chemistry and compatibility?
Understanding the difference between chemistry and compatibility can help you make better decisions in relationships.
It can prevent you from settling down with someone who is incompatible with you or sticking around with someone who you are incompatible with in the hope that the initial ‘spark’ will develop into something more.
It can also save you from the headache of losing someone you love or dealing with all the drama that comes with long-distance relationships.
So, without further ado, here are the 9 differences between chemistry and compatibility:
9 Differences Between Chemistry and Compatibility
1. Chemistry is Immediate, Compatibility Takes Time
Chemistry is a term used to describe the initial spark felt between two people.
It is the butterflies you feel when you see your crush, the shivers that run down your spine when you hear your crush’s voice, the desire you feel when you see the person’s face or body, the ‘love at first sight’ feeling, and so on.
Compatibility, on the other hand, is the understanding of emotional and physical needs that two people share, which can make a relationship or marriage work for a long time.
Compatibility builds over time. You can only assess compatibility as time goes on, as you discover more of what you have in common that makes you both happy.
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2. Chemistry is Emotional, Compatibility is Practical
Chemistry is emotional in that it’s about the feelings you experience when you are around your crush or a person you have chemistry with.
Compatibility, on the other hand, is more practical. It answers the question: ‘Can we build a life together? Is this a person I can spend the rest of my life with?’
3. Chemistry Can Fade, Compatibility is Long-Lasting
Chemistry can be very intense and hard to resist, but it is not a guarantee of a long and healthy relationship. Many times, the initial attraction can fade, and if there is no compatibility, there will be nothing to keep the two people together.
Compatibility lasts a lifetime. When two people share values and principles, communicate effectively, and respect their differences, they can maintain a long-lasting relationship, even when the feelings of love begin to wane.
Related: Love Vs Crush: 10 Differences Between Love and Crush
4. Chemistry is Physical, Compatibility is Emotional and Mental
Chemistry is mainly physical attraction: the way your crush smiles, the tone of his or her voice, how handsome or beautiful they look, and so on. Chemistry does not guarantee that a relationship will last; some of the most compatible people on earth are not physical.
Compatibility is about emotional and mental connection. Do you and your partner have the same interests and beliefs? Do you respect each other’s differences?
5. Chemistry is Uncanny, Compatibility is Measurable
Chemistry is very abstract and difficult to explain. It is not easy to put into words what you feel for someone you have chemistry with. You can only describe it as butterflies in your stomach or a burning desire.
Compatibility is more concrete, more calculable, and easier to explain. It is the similarity of needs and beliefs—things that can be easily discussed and agreed upon. Ask the following questions:
Do we both want children? Do we both want a large family? Do we both value family? Do we both enjoy spending our lives at home? If we have children, do we share the same religion? Do we both like having pets at home?
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6. Chemistry Makes You Feel Excited, Compatibility Makes You Feel at Peace
Chemistry will make you feel alive. You will feel very excited when you are around your crush or a person you have chemistry with. Chemistry makes your life vibrant.
Compatibility gives you peace of mind. It is the absence of stress. It is the security of knowing that your partner is safe and will not go out of his or her way to hurt you.
7. Chemistry is Now, Compatibility is Future-Oriented
Chemistry is immediate; it is about how good things feel in the moment—the powerful adrenaline rush that comes from kissing your crush or holding hands with them.
Compatibility is future-oriented. It is not about the present but about tomorrow. Compatibility asks the questions: ‘Can we build a future together? Can we build a home? Do we share the same desires and dreams about our future life together?’
If there is no compatibility, there can be no future. Compatibility is the driving force of any long-distance relationship.
8. Chemistry Blinds You, Compatibility Awakens You
Chemistry can blind you in the sense that you may start to ignore things you would normally recognize as wrong. You may justify behaviors you know are unacceptable.
Compatibility awakens you to reality. Chemistry is nice, but it cannot build a lasting relationship if there is no compatibility. Compatibility forces you to see things as they truly are, not as you wish them to be.
9. Chemistry is the Excitement, Compatibility is the Necessity
Chemistry is the exhilaration you feel in a relationship—the longing for more time with your partner. It is what makes you want to be around your crush constantly.
Compatibility may not excite you as much, but it is the essential foundation of a healthy relationship or marriage, and it is the fuel that keeps love alive.
Final Words
Chemistry and compatibility are both important, and there are situations where each is needed. However, in a relationship, both are required. Chemistry is what brings two people together. Compatibility is what makes those relationships last.
Relationships with only chemistry and no compatibility tend to be dramatic and unstable. Relationships with only compatibility and no chemistry are bland and dull.
The best relationships are those that balance both. Keep that in mind when choosing a partner in life.
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