How to Plan Your First Home Purchase Together

Purchasing your first home as a couple is a major milestone in your lives. After all, it’s an exciting, emotional, and at times — a little overwhelming — experience. You’re not just choosing a house to live in; you’re building the very foundation of your future together.

But while the idea of finally owning a place of your own sounds romantic, going through the entire mortgage approval and down payment process can also be stressful. If you’re not aligned financially and emotionally, the experience can easily become a burden on your relationship rather than a dream come true.

The good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way. With open, honest communication and a solid financial plan, you can make the process rewarding for your partnership rather than something that tests it.

To help you plan your first home purchase the smart way, here’s a step-by-step guide for you and your partner to follow:

How to Plan Your First Home Purchase Together

Step 1. Start with a Heart-to-Heart (and a Budget)

Before you start browsing real estate apps, sit down together and have a genuine conversation about your financial and emotional expectations.

Discuss questions such as:

How much do we earn, and what are our monthly bills?
What debts do we have (credit cards, student loans, car loans, etc.)?
How much can we realistically save each month for a down payment?
What does “home” mean to us — a forever home, a starter home, or an investment?

Having this conversation will help you both understand your financial situation as a team. As difficult as it might be, be open and honest — even if it’s uncomfortable. The last thing you want is to have money surprises later in the process that could derail your plans.

Once you have a full picture of your finances, it’s time to set a joint budget. This should include your savings goal for the down payment, expected closing costs (usually between 2–5% of the home’s purchase price), and an emergency fund for unexpected repairs or expenses after the move.

Step 2. Define Your Priorities and Deal-Breakers

Every couple has a slightly different vision of their dream home. Your partner might want a city condo close to work, while you dream of a peaceful house in the suburbs.

To avoid frustration during the search, sit down together and list your must-haves, nice-to-haves, and deal-breakers.

For example:

Must-haves: 3 bedrooms, a good neighborhood, parking space, safe location.
Nice-to-haves: modern kitchen, extra storage, walk-in closet, backyard.
Deal-breakers: too far from work, noisy area, poor resale potential.

Compare your lists and find a middle ground. Remember, the goal is to build a life together. You may not get everything you want in your first home, but finding something that checks the most important boxes for both of you is crucial.

Step 3. Check and Strengthen Your Credit

Before applying for a mortgage, review both of your credit reports carefully. Your credit scores will significantly affect the types of loans and interest rates you qualify for.

If one of you has a lower score, consider these options:

Wait until the lower score improves.
Apply for the mortgage under the partner with the higher score (if income allows).
Pay down debts or correct errors on credit reports before applying.

Improving your credit may take time, but it can save you thousands of dollars over the life of your mortgage — so it’s well worth the effort.

Step 4. Set a Realistic Price Range

It’s easy to get carried away with properties that are slightly beyond your reach, but that can lead to unnecessary stress and financial strain. Use an online mortgage calculator or speak with a mortgage broker to estimate how much you can afford based on your combined income, debts, and savings.

A good rule of thumb: your total monthly housing costs (mortgage, taxes, and insurance) should not exceed 28–30% of your gross monthly income.

Also, remember to budget for additional expenses, such as:

Property taxes
Homeowners insurance
Maintenance and repairs
Utilities
HOA fees (if applicable)

Even if you’re approved for a higher loan amount, that doesn’t mean you should use it all. Choose a payment that feels comfortable and sustainable for both of you.

Step 5. Save for Your Down Payment (and More)

The more money you can put toward your down payment, the better your mortgage terms and monthly payments will be.

Traditionally, a 20% down payment helps you avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI), but it’s not always required. Many first-time homebuyer programs allow down payments as low as 3–5%.

To build your savings faster:

Open a joint savings account dedicated to your home fund.
Automate monthly transfers from both partners’ accounts.
Cut back on non-essentials (like takeout, subscriptions, or travel) for a while.
Direct any bonuses, tax refunds, or side hustle income into your home fund.

Also, remember to save extra for closing costs, moving expenses, and essential home items like furniture and appliances.

Step 6. Get Pre-Approved for a Mortgage

Before you start house hunting, it’s a good idea to get pre-approved for a mortgage. Pre-approval not only shows sellers that you’re serious but also gives you a clearer idea of your price range.

During the pre-approval process, the lender will review your financial information — income, credit, debts, and savings — to determine how much you can borrow.

Pre-approval can also help you lock in an interest rate and identify potential issues early, so there are no surprises when you find “the one.”

Step 7. Choose the Right Real Estate Agent

Ask anyone who’s bought a home before — having a good real estate agent makes all the difference. They’ll guide you through the process, help you negotiate, and ensure you don’t overlook key details during inspections or paperwork.

Look for an agent who:

Has experience with first-time buyers
Knows your preferred neighborhoods well
Communicates clearly and promptly
Understands your goals as a couple

Ask friends and family for referrals, and don’t hesitate to interview a few agents before choosing one. You’ll be working closely with them, so feeling comfortable is essential.

Step 8. Start House Hunting (and Stay Grounded)

Now comes the fun part — touring homes! But be warned, it can also be an emotional rollercoaster. You might disagree about certain properties or fall in love with one that sells before you can make an offer.

To stay grounded:

Keep your must-have list handy during tours.
Take notes or photos to help you remember each property.
Don’t make hasty decisions out of excitement or frustration.
Stay realistic — your first home doesn’t have to be your forever home.

Patience pays off. The right home will check the most important boxes and fit comfortably within your budget.

Step 9. Make an Offer and Get an Inspection

Once you find your dream home, your agent will help you make a competitive offer based on current market trends and comparable sales.

If your offer is accepted, schedule a home inspection immediately. This crucial step helps you avoid unpleasant surprises by uncovering issues like plumbing, roofing, or electrical problems.

If the inspection reveals major issues, you can renegotiate with the seller or decide to walk away entirely.

Step 10. Finalize the Loan and Close the Deal

Next, it’s time to complete the mortgage paperwork. You’ll need to provide updated financial documents and sign a stack of forms (welcome to adulting!).

Once everything is finalized, you’ll attend the closing meeting, sign the last documents, and receive the keys to your new home.

Congratulations — you’re officially homeowners!

Step 11. Plan for Life After Closing

Buying a home is just the beginning. Now it’s time to manage it together.

Here are a few smart moves to make after moving in:

Build a maintenance fund for future repairs or upgrades.
Create a joint system for paying the mortgage and utility bills.
Review your homeowners insurance annually.
Set home goals — like renovations, landscaping, or energy improvements.

And don’t forget to celebrate! Host a small housewarming party or enjoy a cozy dinner on the floor surrounded by boxes. You’ve earned it.

Step 12. Keep Communication Open

The key to successful homeownership as a couple is the same as the key to a strong relationship: communication.

You’ll face unexpected expenses, maintenance surprises, and differences in opinion about decor or renovations. But as long as you keep talking, budgeting, and planning together, you’ll stay aligned and avoid resentment.

Make it a habit to have regular “money check-ins” to discuss your finances, review progress, and adjust your goals as needed.

Final Thoughts

Purchasing your first home as a couple is not just a financial decision — it’s a relationship milestone. It takes teamwork, trust, patience, and compromise. But when you finally step into your new home, all the planning, saving, and late nights spent sorting things out will be worth it.

Remember, the process might not be perfect, and that’s okay. The most important thing is that you do it together, building not only a home but a stronger foundation for your shared future.

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ONWE DAMIAN

Onwe Damian Chukwuemeka is a relationship and self-improvement coach, as well as a final-year law student at the University of Calabar, Nigeria. He has distinguished himself in leadership and service, and has held key positions such as Deputy Director of Public Prosecution in the Students’ Union Government and Justice of the Malabor High Court, University of Calabar, Nigeria. Learn more about him

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