Love is meant to bring serenity into the life of anyone in a relationship. So why is it that the person who claims to love you leaves you more confused than cherished? Words can sound sweet to the ears, but without truth behind them, they are nothing more than empty sounds.
You come home from work exhausted, expecting comfort from the one person who should be your safe space, your confidant, your support. Instead, he’s snappy and dismissive. The moment you put your head down and hear the words you long for—I love you—you feel a sinking heaviness in your chest, as if something about it isn’t true. That’s when the cracks begin to form. You start asking questions you’ve never asked before, wondering if he truly loves you or if he’s only saying what he knows you want to hear.
Love cannot survive on empty promises. It is built on consistency, respect, and effort. If you’re questioning whether his “I love you” comes from the heart or from convenience, here are twelve signs that may reveal the truth.
1. His Actions Don’t Match His Words
The simplest way to test whether someone means what they say is to observe what they do. Love shows itself in small, consistent gestures of care and thoughtfulness.
A man who truly loves you doesn’t just say he cares—he shows it. He checks on you when you’re quiet, keeps his promises, respects your time, and never forces affection when you’re not in the mood.
But if his words are kind while his actions are careless or inconsiderate, then his “I love you” is an empty statement. When real love exists, you won’t have to interpret it—you’ll see it clearly every day.
Related: What To Do When Someone Lies To You In A Relationship
2. He Avoids Emotional Conversations
When you love someone, you want to understand them. You’re willing to have difficult conversations and listen with patience. But a man who’s lying about love will avoid emotional depth.
He changes the subject when you ask how he feels. He dismisses your emotions or says, “You’re too sensitive.” His goal isn’t to connect; it’s to control the conversation and keep you at a distance.
Real love invites openness. False love hides behind silence.
Related: Why Do We Experience a Longing Feeling in a Relationship?
3. He Doesn’t Prioritize You
If a man truly loves you, he will always make time for you. No matter how busy he is, he’ll find ways to show that you matter.
But a man who’s lying about his feelings will always have excuses—he’s too tired, too busy, too distracted. You’ll find yourself constantly chasing his attention, pleading for what should be freely given.
Real love never makes you feel like a second option.
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4. He’s Inconsistent with His Affection
Love doesn’t fade in and out. But when a man lies about it, his affection fluctuates like the weather. One day he’s attentive and romantic; the next, he’s cold and distant.
You start questioning what you did wrong, but it’s not you—it’s his inconsistency. Genuine love remains steady even in difficult times. Pretended love disappears the moment it’s inconvenient.
Related: How To Have a Christ Centered Relationship
5. He Keeps You Out of His Future Plans
When a man loves you, he naturally imagines a future with you. You’ll hear him say things like, “When we travel next year,” or, “I can’t wait to show you this place.”
But a man who’s pretending avoids any talk of the future. He gets uncomfortable with long-term plans and dodges the topic of commitment. If he doesn’t include you in what lies ahead, it’s because he doesn’t intend for you to be there.
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6. He Makes You Doubt Yourself
Love should build you up, not tear you down. A man who lies about love often manipulates your emotions to maintain control.
He twists your words, blames you for his mistakes, or tells you you’re “too sensitive” when you express hurt. Over time, you start doubting your instincts and questioning your reality.
Real love gives you peace of mind. False love leaves you anxious and uncertain.
7. He’s Only Around When It’s Convenient
If he shows up only when it benefits him—when he wants company, comfort, or attention—but disappears when you need support, that isn’t love.
A real relationship isn’t one-sided. You shouldn’t be the only one sacrificing, giving, or showing up. When someone truly loves you, they’re there through joy and hardship alike. Love doesn’t vanish when things get difficult.
8. He Avoids Accountability
In every healthy relationship, both people accept responsibility when things go wrong. But a man who’s lying about love will never admit fault. He’ll shift blame, play the victim, and refuse to apologize.
This behavior isn’t about love—it’s about ego. Real love requires humility. False love clings to pride.
9. He’s Secretive or Defensive About His Life
Trust should come naturally in love. A man who loves you will let you into his life—he’ll share details about his day, introduce you to his friends, and let you see who he is beyond your time together.
But if he’s secretive, defensive, or overly private about his phone, his friends, or his routine, that’s a warning sign. Evasiveness often covers dishonesty.
True love has nothing to hide.
10. He Doesn’t Support Your Growth
Love isn’t about control—it’s about encouragement. A man who truly loves you will celebrate your success and motivate you to become your best self.
But a man pretending to love you may belittle your ambitions, discourage your growth, or make you feel guilty for wanting more. His affection thrives only when you’re small and dependent.
That isn’t love—it’s insecurity disguised as affection.
11. He Uses “Love” as an Excuse
Some men use “love” as a shield to excuse their behavior. They say things like, “I only did that because I love you,” after hurting or disrespecting you.
But love doesn’t justify pain. It doesn’t manipulate, control, or belittle. If he keeps repeating the same hurtful patterns while hiding behind “I love you,” then love isn’t what’s guiding him—control is.
12. Your Gut Tells You Something Is Off
Your instincts rarely lie. Even when your mind makes excuses, your heart knows when something is wrong.
If you constantly feel uneasy, anxious, or emotionally drained, listen to that feeling. Real love brings calm. It doesn’t leave you second-guessing every word or action.
When love is genuine, you feel safe and understood. When it’s not, your spirit warns you—again and again.
Why Some Men Lie About Love
Not every man who lies about love does it maliciously. Some are afraid of being alone, while others crave attention or the comfort of companionship. But no matter the reason, pretending to love someone is still deceit.
It drains your energy, wastes your time, and keeps you from finding true happiness. Love requires honesty and vulnerability. When someone uses it as a tool for convenience, they turn something sacred into a performance.
How to Know When to Walk Away
The first step is to face the truth, no matter how painful it feels. Pretending not to see what you already know only prolongs your pain.
Ask yourself: do you want reassurance that he loves you, or do you want proof through consistent action? Real love doesn’t need defending—it proves itself in daily effort and respect.
If he’s lying, the pattern will repeat. He’ll make temporary promises and break them. He’ll apologize without changing. Don’t chase closure from someone who keeps hurting you. Say what you need to say, then step back and watch what he does. His actions will tell you everything.
Leaving a dishonest relationship is never easy. But once you do, you make space for peace, for joy, and for the kind of love that’s real. You’ll find yourself again—your laughter, your confidence, your calm. When you stop settling for empty gestures, you begin to attract love that speaks through truth.
Final Thoughts
Love should never leave you uncertain. You shouldn’t have to analyze every gesture or decode every message. When love is real, it’s clear—it shows in consistency, kindness, and effort.
If you constantly have to question someone’s words or doubt their intentions, that’s not love. Real love doesn’t confuse you or make you feel small. It’s steady, patient, and honest.
You deserve a love that feels like peace, not chaos. A love that doesn’t need to be explained or defended. And when you choose truth over pretense, you open your heart to the kind of love that was meant for you all along.
Save the pin for later.
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