20 Warning Signs Your Friend Might Be Using You

Friendships are supposed to be mutually beneficial, with both parties supporting and caring for one another.

However, sometimes people can exploit their friends for their own gain, taking advantage of their kindness and generosity.

It’s important to be able to recognize the warning signs that a friend might be using you, in order to protect yourself from being taken advantage of.

Related: Signs a guy is using you

Why do people use others?

There can be a variety of reasons why someone might choose to use their friends.

Some people may have a sense of entitlement, feeling that they deserve to be taken care of by others.

Others may lack the confidence or skills to achieve their goals on their own, and so they rely on manipulating their friends to get what they want.

In some cases, people may simply be selfish and prioritize their own needs over those of their friends.

Warning signs your friend might be using you

Sign 1: They only contact you when they need something

If your friend only reaches out to you when they need a favor or want something from you, it’s a clear sign that they may be using you. A genuine friend should make an effort to stay in touch and connect with you even when they don’t need anything.

Sign 2: They are always asking for favors

A friend who is constantly asking you to do things for them, whether it’s running errands, lending them money, or helping with a task, may be taking advantage of your kindness. While it’s normal to ask for the occasional favor, a pattern of constant requests can be a red flag.

Related: Signs your friendship is over

Sign 3: They never reciprocate

In a healthy friendship, both parties should make an effort to support and help each other. If your friend never returns the favor or does anything to help you in return, it’s a sign that they may be using you.

Sign 4: They constantly borrow money from you

Repeatedly borrowing money from you, especially without a clear plan to pay it back, can be a sign that your friend is using you for financial gain. Be wary of friends who seem to always be in need of money and expect you to provide it.

Sign 5: They don’t show genuine interest in your life

A true friend should be interested in your well-being and make an effort to understand what’s going on in your life. If your friend seems disengaged or only talks about their own problems, it may be a sign that they are more interested in using you as a sounding board than being a supportive friend.

Related: Signs your friend is toxic

Sign 6: They only hang out with you in certain situations

If your friend only wants to spend time with you when it benefits them, such as when they need a ride or want to attend an event, it’s a red flag. A genuine friend should enjoy your company regardless of the situation.

Sign 7: They make you feel guilty for saying no

A friend who tries to manipulate you into doing things for them by making you feel guilty or selfish for saying no is likely using you. A true friend should respect your boundaries and not try to pressure you into doing things you’re uncomfortable with.

Sign 8: They manipulate you into doing things for them

Manipulation can take many forms, such as emotional blackmail, guilt-tripping, or even threats. If your friend tries to coerce you into doing things for them, it’s a clear sign that they are using you.

Related: How to stop being friends with someone

Sign 9: They are always comparing themselves to you

A friend who is constantly comparing their achievements, possessions, or relationships to yours may be feeling insecure and trying to use you to boost their own self-esteem. This type of behavior can be a sign of resentment or envy, which can lead to the exploitation of the friendship.

Sign 10: They are dismissive of your feelings and needs

A true friend should be supportive and empathetic, even when you’re going through difficult times. If your friend consistently ignores or minimizes your emotional needs, it’s a sign that they may be more focused on their own agenda than on being a supportive friend.

Sign 11: They are never there for you in times of need

When you’re going through a tough time, a true friend should be there to offer support and comfort. If your friend is always unavailable or unwilling to lend a helping hand when you need it, it’s a clear sign that they are using you.

Sign 12: They only talk about themselves and their problems

A balanced friendship involves both parties sharing and listening to each other’s experiences. If your friend monopolizes the conversation and rarely asks about your life or problems, it’s a red flag that they may be using you as a sounding board rather than a true friend.

Sign 13: They are quick to take credit for your accomplishments

If your friend tries to take credit for your achievements or downplays your contributions, it’s a sign that they may be using you to boost their own ego or status. A true friend should be genuinely happy for your successes and support your efforts.

Sign 14: They are constantly putting you down

Criticism and put-downs from a friend can be a sign that they are trying to undermine your confidence and make themselves feel superior. This type of behavior is often a tactic used by people who are trying to exploit their friends.

Sign 15: They only reach out when they want to show off

If your friend only contacts you when they have something to brag about or want to show off, it’s a clear sign that they are using you as an audience for their own self-promotion. A true friend should be interested in sharing their successes with you, not just using you as a platform to boost their own ego.

Sign 16: They are always trying to one-up you

A friend who is constantly trying to outdo you or one-up your achievements may be feeling insecure and using you as a way to make themselves feel better. This type of competitive behavior can be a sign that they are more interested in using you than in having a genuine friendship.

Sign 17: They never apologize or take responsibility for their actions

If your friend never takes responsibility for their mistakes or apologizes for their actions, it’s a sign that they may be using you without any regard for your feelings or well-being. A true friend should be willing to acknowledge their wrongdoings and make amends.

Sign 18: They are secretive about their own life

A friend who is unwilling to share details about their own life or experiences may be trying to hide something from you. This secrecy can be a sign that they are using you for their own gain while keeping you at a distance.

Sign 19: They make you feel like you owe them something

If your friend makes you feel like you owe them for the things they’ve done for you, it’s a red flag. A true friend should never make you feel indebted to them or use your gratitude as a way to manipulate you.

Sign 20: They disappear when you no longer serve their purpose

If your friend only maintains contact with you when you’re useful to them, and then disappears when you’re no longer serving their needs, it’s a clear sign that they were using you. A genuine friend should stick by you even when you’re not in a position to help them.

How to handle a friend who is using you

If you suspect that a friend is using you, it’s important to address the issue directly.

Start by having an honest conversation with them, expressing your concerns and setting clear boundaries.

If they continue to disrespect your boundaries or refuse to change their behavior, it may be necessary to distance yourself from the friendship for your own well-being.

Remember, you deserve to have friends who genuinely care about you and your well-being. Don’t be afraid to prioritize your own needs and protect yourself from being used.

Conclusion

Recognizing the warning signs that a friend might be using you is an important step in maintaining healthy relationships.

By being aware of these signs and taking action to address them, you can ensure that your friendships are built on mutual respect, trust, and support.