Certain behaviors and actions from men can often leave women frustrated, disrespected, or just plain upset. From small annoyances to major relationship dealbreakers, the things that men do (or don’t do) can have a significant impact on how women feel and how they perceive them.
Here are common things that men do that tend to upset women.
15 things men do that upset women
1. Not Listening Actively
One of the most common complaints women have about men is that they don’t listen actively. They may hear the words you’re saying, but they don’t truly listen and try to understand your perspective.
This can make women feel unheard, unimportant, and frustrated. To address this, men should work on:
- Making eye contact and giving the speaker their full attention
- Asking clarifying questions to ensure they understand
- Paraphrasing what they’ve heard to demonstrate comprehension
- Avoiding interrupting or formulating their response while the other person is still speaking
2. Dismissing or Minimizing Feelings
When a woman shares her feelings, whether it’s about a specific situation or just her general emotional state, it’s important that the man in her life responds with empathy and validation. Dismissing or minimizing her feelings can make her feel invalidated and unsupported.
Instead, men should:
- Acknowledge her feelings and let her know you hear her.
- Avoid saying things like “you’re overreacting” or “it’s not a big deal.”
- Ask questions to better understand where she’s coming from.
- Validate her feelings, even if you don’t fully agree with them.
3. Failing to Communicate Effectively
Effective communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, but it’s an area where many men struggle. Whether it’s not expressing their needs clearly, bottling up their emotions, or failing to have difficult conversations, poor communication can be a major source of conflict and upset for women.
To improve communication:
- Be open and honest about your thoughts, feelings, and needs
- Initiate conversations about important issues before they become problems
- Practice active listening and avoid defensive or dismissive responses
- Seek to understand your partner’s perspective, even if they don’t agree
4. Not Pulling Their Weight
In relationships and households, women often feel like they’re doing the majority of the work when it comes to chores, childcare, and other domestic responsibilities. When men don’t pull their fair share, it can lead to resentment, exhaustion, and a sense of imbalance.
To address this issue, men should:
- Have an open and honest discussion about the division of labor
- Take on an equal or proportionate share of household tasks and childcare
- Offer to help without being asked, and follow through on their commitments
- Be willing to adapt and adjust as needs change over time
5. Disrespecting Boundaries
Whether it’s personal space, alone time, or other boundaries, respecting a woman’s boundaries is crucial. When men cross those lines or fail to respect them, it can make women feel unsafe, violated, and distrustful.
Men should:
- Clearly communicate and respect their partner’s boundaries
- Avoid pushing or pressuring her to do things she’s uncomfortable with
- Give her the space and autonomy she needs, without taking it personally
- Apologize and make amends if they inadvertently cross a boundary
6. Failing to Contribute Financially
In relationships where finances are shared, women often feel frustrated when their male partners don’t pull their weight or contribute equally. This can create tension, stress, and a sense of unfairness.
To address this, men should:
- Have an open and honest discussion about financial responsibilities
- Contribute their fair share towards shared expenses and goals
- Avoid relying on their partner to cover their financial obligations
- Seek to understand and respect their partner’s financial needs and concerns
7. Neglecting Emotional Needs
Women often crave emotional intimacy, support, and validation from their male partners. When these needs go unmet, it can leave women feeling lonely, unsatisfied, and resentful.
Men can better meet their partner’s emotional needs by:
- Regularly checking in and asking how she’s feeling
- Offering emotional support and validation when she’s struggling
- Engaging in meaningful conversations and quality time together
- Expressing affection, appreciation, and gratitude
Related: How to make a woman feel beautiful
8. Displaying Controlling or Possessive Behavior
Controlling or possessive behaviors, such as excessive jealousy, monitoring her activities, or trying to dictate her choices, can be extremely upsetting and damaging to women. This type of behavior can erode trust, autonomy, and a sense of safety in the relationship.
To avoid this, men should:
- Cultivate trust, security, and independence in the relationship
- Avoid making demands or trying to control their partner’s actions
- Address any feelings of jealousy or insecurity in a healthy, constructive way
- Encourage and support their partner’s personal growth and autonomy
9. Objectifying or Disrespecting Women
When men objectify or disrespect women, whether it’s through comments, behaviors, or the way they interact with other women, it can be deeply upsetting and demoralizing. Women want to be seen and treated as whole, complex human beings, not just as objects of desire or amusement.
Men can avoid this by:
- Treating all women, including their partners, with genuine respect and dignity
- Avoiding objectifying comments, jokes, or behaviors that demean women
- Calling out and challenging sexist or disrespectful attitudes in themselves and others
- Educating themselves on issues of gender equality and women’s experiences
10. Neglecting Personal Hygiene or Appearance
While physical appearance shouldn’t be the most important factor in a relationship, basic personal hygiene and grooming can make a significant difference in how a woman perceives and feels about her partner. Neglecting these areas can be a turnoff and a source of frustration.
Men should:
- Maintain good personal hygiene, including regular bathing, teeth brushing, and grooming
- Wear clean, well-fitting clothes that are appropriate for the occasion
- Make an effort to look presentable and put-together, even in casual settings
- Address any persistent hygiene or appearance issues that may be upsetting their partner
11. Failing to Offer Emotional Support
When a woman is going through a difficult time, whether it’s a personal crisis, a stressful situation, or just a general emotional struggle, she needs her partner to be a source of emotional support and comfort. Failing to provide this can leave her feeling alone, unsupported, and resentful.
To better support their partner’s emotional needs, men should:
- Ask questions and actively listen to understand what she’s going through
- Offer empathy, validation, and a compassionate, non-judgmental presence
- Provide practical assistance or problem-solving help, if appropriate
- Engage in activities that help her feel cared for and nurtured
12. Neglecting Intimacy and Romance
In long-term relationships, it’s easy for the spark and romance to fade, but women often crave that emotional and physical intimacy. When men neglect this aspect of the relationship, it can leave women feeling disconnected, unfulfilled, and resentful.
To maintain intimacy and romance, men should:
- Regularly initiate and engage in physical affection, like hugging, kissing, and sex
- Plan and execute thoughtful, romantic gestures and date nights
- Communicate openly about their intimate needs and desires
- Be attentive to your partner’s needs and make efforts to keep the romance alive
13. Engaging in Infidelity or Betrayal
Perhaps one of the most significant sources of upset and hurt for women is when their male partners engage in infidelity or other forms of betrayal. This can shatter trust, damage self-esteem, and leave lasting scars in the relationship.
To avoid this, men should:
- Maintain complete honesty and faithfulness in the relationship
- Communicate openly about any temptations or urges to be unfaithful
- Seek help and counseling if they’re struggling with impulse control or fidelity
- Rebuild trust and make amends if they’ve already betrayed their partner’s trust
14. Disregarding Her Opinions and Expertise
Women often bring valuable perspectives, knowledge, and expertise to the table, but when men disregard or dismiss these contributions, it can be incredibly frustrating and demoralizing. This can make women feel unheard, undervalued, and disrespected.
To avoid this, men should:
- Actively listen and consider their partner’s opinions and suggestions
- Acknowledge and appreciate her expertise, especially in areas where she has more experience
- Avoid interrupting or talking over her when she’s speaking
- Be open to compromise and finding solutions that incorporate both of your perspectives
15. Failing to Prioritize the Relationship
Today, it’s easy for relationships to take a backseat to work, hobbies, or other commitments. However, when men consistently fail to make their partner and the relationship a priority, it can leave women feeling neglected, unimportant, and resentful. Read my previous post about how to prioritize your relationship.
To address this, men should:
- Regularly schedule quality time and date nights with their partner
- Communicate about and honor commitments to the relationship
- Avoid letting other obligations or distractions take precedence over the relationship
- Demonstrate through their actions that their partner and the relationship are a top priority
Conclusion
If you’re a man who wants to improve your relationship avoid provoking the good woman in your life. Never take your woman for granted. With the above, you can tell the things men do that upset women.
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