What Do Narcissists Say in an Argument?
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What Do Narcissists Say in an Argument?

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What Do Narcissists Say in an Argument? Arguing with a narcissist can be an emotionally draining and frustrating experience. Their manipulative tactics and self-centered mindset can make it challenging to have a productive discussion. To effectively navigate these arguments, it is crucial to understand the characteristics of narcissists and the tactics they employ. Today, I will be sharing with you, 50 things narcissists say when they’re arguing with you.

Characteristics of Narcissists in Arguments

In arguments, narcissists often exhibit specific behaviors that distinguish them from others. These behaviors are rooted in their deep-seated need for validation and power. Some common characteristics of narcissists in arguments include:

  1. Defensiveness: Narcissists have a strong aversion to criticism and will become defensive when confronted with their flaws or mistakes. They are quick to shift blame onto others to protect their fragile self-image.
  2. Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to make their victims doubt their perception of reality. They will twist the facts, deny their wrongdoings, and make their victims question their sanity.
  3. Invalidation: Narcissists often invalidate the feelings and experiences of others. They may belittle or dismiss the emotions of their argument partner, making them feel unheard and insignificant.
  4. Projection: Narcissists project their faults and insecurities onto others. They may accuse their argument partner of exhibiting the very behaviors they are guilty of, deflecting attention away from their flaws.
  5. Manipulation: Narcissists are skilled manipulators and will use various tactics to control the narrative of the argument. They may employ guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, or passive-aggressive behavior to get their way.

Manipulative Tactics Used by Narcissists in Arguments

Narcissists employ a wide range of manipulative tactics to gain the upper hand in arguments. These tactics are designed to confuse, control, and undermine their argument partner. Here are some common manipulative tactics used by narcissists:

  1. Gaslighting: As mentioned earlier, gaslighting is a tactic used by narcissists to make their victims doubt their reality. They may deny previous statements, twist the truth, or blatantly lie to confuse and manipulate their argument partner.
  2. Distracting and deflecting: When confronted with their wrongdoings, narcissists will often try to change the subject or shift the blame onto others. They may bring up unrelated issues or dig up past grievances to divert attention away from their behavior.
  3. Personal attacks: Narcissists are not above launching personal attacks in an argument. They may criticize their argument partner’s appearance, intelligence, or character in an attempt to undermine their credibility and assert their dominance.
  4. Silent treatment: One of the most effective tactics employed by narcissists is the silent treatment. By refusing to engage or communicate, they exert control over the argument and leave their argument partner feeling frustrated and powerless.
  5. Playing the victim: Narcissists often portray themselves as the victim in arguments, even when they are the ones at fault. They will use their perceived victimhood to elicit sympathy and manipulate others into siding with them.

Related: How narcissists treat their children

50 Examples of What Narcissists Say in an Argument

  1. “You’re overreacting, as usual.”
  2. “You’re just being too sensitive.”
  3. “I never said that. You must be remembering it wrong.”
  4. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
  5. “You’re just trying to start an argument.”
  6. “Why are you always trying to control me?”
  7. “You’re just jealous of my success.”
  8. “You’re the problem, not me.”
  9. “I can’t believe you would say something like that to me.”
  10. “You’re just trying to make me look bad.”
  11. “You’re just trying to play the victim.”
  12. “You’re always trying to make everything about you.”
  13. “You’re just trying to manipulate me.”
  14. “You’re just trying to get attention.”
  15. “You’re being irrational.”
  16. “You’re too emotional to have a rational discussion.”
  17. “You’re just trying to make me feel guilty.”
  18. “You’re always twisting my words.”
  19. “You’re exaggerating the situation.”
  20. “You’re just trying to make me feel bad about myself.”
  21. “You’re never satisfied, no matter what I do.”
  22. “You’re the one who needs therapy, not me.”
  23. “You’re just trying to control the narrative.”
  24. “You’re just trying to make me lose my temper.”
  25. “You always have to be right, don’t you?”
  26. “You’re just being dramatic.”
  27. “You’re just trying to manipulate others against me.”
  28. “You’re just trying to make me doubt myself.”
  29. “You’re always twisting things to make yourself look better.”
  30. “You’re just trying to make me feel inferior.”
  31. “You’re just trying to provoke me.”
  32. “You’re just trying to make everyone think I’m a bad person.”
  33. “You’re just trying to make me feel crazy.”
  34. “You’re always playing the victim.”
  35. “You’re just trying to make me feel insecure.”
  36. “You’re just trying to make me feel like a failure.”
  37. “You’re just trying to make me doubt my judgment.”
  38. “You’re just trying to make me question my sanity.”
  39. “You’re just trying to make me look like the bad guy.”
  40. “You’re just trying to make me feel guilty for standing up for myself.”
  41. “You’re just trying to make me feel like I can’t do anything right.”
  42. “You’re just trying to make me doubt my memory.”
  43. “You’re just trying to make me second-guess myself.”
  44. “You’re just trying to make me feel like I’m crazy.”
  45. “You’re just trying to make me feel like I’m losing my mind.”
  46. “You’re just trying to make me feel like I’m the problem.”
  47. “You’re just trying to make me feel like a terrible person.”
  48. “You’re just trying to make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
  49. “You’re just trying to make me feel like I’m going crazy.”
  50. “You’re just trying to make me feel like I’m losing touch with reality.”

Related: How to deal with a narcissist

How to Respond to Narcissistic Statements in an Argument

Engaging in an argument with a narcissist can feel like walking on eggshells, but some strategies can help you navigate these situations more effectively. Here are some tips on how to respond to narcissistic statements in an argument:

  1. Stay calm: It is essential to maintain your composure when dealing with a narcissist. Responding with anger or frustration will only fuel their manipulative tactics. Take deep breaths and remind yourself to stay calm and collected.
  2. Set boundaries: Make it clear what behavior is acceptable and what is not. Let the narcissist know that personal attacks, gaslighting, and manipulation will not be tolerated. Establishing boundaries can help protect your emotional well-being.
  3. Refocus the conversation: When a narcissist tries to distract or deflect, bring the conversation back to the original issue at hand. Remind them of the topic you were discussing and refuse to let them sidetrack the discussion.
  4. Use “I” statements: Express your feelings and experiences using “I” statements. This can help prevent the narcissist from invalidating or dismissing your emotions. For example, say, “I feel hurt when you say things like that,” instead of “You always say hurtful things.”
  5. Don’t engage in their game: Narcissists thrive on drama and attention. Refuse to engage in their manipulative tactics or get drawn into their web of lies. Stay focused on the facts and avoid getting caught up in their emotional manipulation.


Arguing with a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. Understanding their characteristics and manipulative tactics is crucial for navigating these arguments effectively.

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