Breakups suck.
When a relationship we care about ends, many of us find ourselves desperately seeking closure. We want to know his side of the story, his perspective, his thoughts, and feelings on what happened and why. We may want to hear an apology or at least an explanation.
We want something… anything to help make sense of it all and feel better so we can move on. In the wake of a breakup or emotional detachment, it can be hard to let go of the need to hear from him, to know what went wrong, and to understand why the relationship ended before we’re ready to give up on it.
We often feel like we can’t let go and heal until we hear from him and get some kind of resolution. But the truth is, you don’t need closure from him to move on and heal completely. You can take charge of your own life and emotional well-being without relying on him for answers.
Why You Don’t Need Closure From Him
The truth is, waiting for closure from someone who’s moved on or stopped communicating can keep you stuck in a never-ending cycle of “what-ifs” and wondering why you aren’t over it yet.
You may think you need to hear from him to make peace with what happened, but there are plenty of steps you can take to heal and move forward without waiting for his answers.
In fact, trying to get closure from him will often do more harm than good if you’re really determined to move on. Here are a few reasons why:
1. You Don’t Need Closure From Him to Heal
Closure is something many of us hope to achieve after a relationship ends. But closure can be elusive and fleeting.
Sometimes, we think we’ve achieved closure, only to have our resolve crumble weeks or even months later.
Chasing after closure only leads to heartbreak and disappointment. You might start to wonder why you’re waiting for closure in the first place.
You may not get closure or the answers you’re looking for and may find it frustrating and disheartening to chase something that may never happen. In the end, closure can be more of a fleeting fantasy than a real destination.
Related: How To Recover From A Breakup
2. Closure Won’t Fill the Void
When you’re looking for closure, you’re often searching for answers, explanations, and assurances.
You want to know what went wrong and why, and closure can often feel like the only way to finally make peace with what happened.
But the truth is, closure rarely gives you the answers you’re looking for. You may not even be able to put your finger on what you want from him or why you think you need it.
The problem with chasing after closure is that it’s a never-ending quest. You’ll never find the answers you’re looking for because they don’t exist.
3. Closure Won’t Heal Your Wounds
Closure is a state of mind. It’s a feeling of peace and resolution after something traumatic or difficult has happened.
Chasing after closure often means you’re trying to fill a void that can’t be filled. Closure won’t heal your wounds.
It’s not a panacea that will magically make everything better. Closure is a journey, not a destination. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move on and start the healing process.
The Takeaway
Closure is a state of mind, and it’s not something you can chase or wait for. Chasing after closure is a fruitless exercise that can only lead to heartbreak and disappointment.
You can move on and heal without closure, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can start the healing process.
Related: What To Do After A Breakup: 6 Things You Should Focus On, Right Now
Healing from the Inside Out: Steps to Achieving Closure Independently
Closure from him is not necessary for you to move on and heal after a breakup. In fact, trying to get closure from him can often do more harm than good if you’re really committed to moving on.
The best thing you can do is focus on your own well-being and work through the grieving process on your own. By letting go of the past and taking responsibility for your own happiness, you can finally start to heal and move on without closure from him.
1. Accept the Reality of the Situation
Accepting the situation and yourself will be key to moving forward. Allow yourself to grieve and move through the process at your own pace.
Don’t force yourself to let go or pretend to be okay if you’re not. Accept your own feelings as valid, and allow yourself to work through the stages of grief at your own pace.
2. Forgive Yourself and Him
Forgiveness is a process, and you won’t feel the full weight of your grief until you’ve worked through it.
Don’t hold on to anger or resentment for the sake of staying in the past. Forgiveness is the ultimate gift you can give yourself, so take the time to heal and forgive yourself and him. Forgive him for moving on, and forgive yourself for not being perfect.
3. Find Something Else to Do With Your Time
Find something you love to do that doesn’t involve him. Spend time with people who make you laugh, get out in nature, or volunteer for a cause you care about. Focus on something else other than him, and take care of yourself in the process.
4. Connect with Other People
Surround yourself with positive people and support systems who will help you heal. Spend time with friends, family, and loved ones who make you feel good about yourself. Connect with others, and focus on your own well-being in the process.
5. Let Go of the Past and Focus on the Future
Forgiveness is a process, and the healing journey will take time. Don’t force yourself to let go or pretend to be okay if you’re not. Allow yourself to grieve and move forward in your own time. Look toward the future, and focus on creating the life you want for yourself.
6. Take Action and Start Living Your Life Again
Start living your life, and don’t be afraid to try new things and experiment with new hobbies. Do things that make you happy and take care of yourself in the process. Create a life you love, and focus on the future.
Related: How To Find Yourself Again After a Breakup
Final Thoughts
Closure is not necessary for healing after a breakup, and trying to get closure from him can often do more harm than good if you’re committed to moving on.
By accepting the situation and yourself, you can finally start to heal and move on without closure from him. The key is to focus on your own well-being and work through the grieving process at your own pace.
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