Texting is one of the primary methods of communication—especially when you’re getting to know someone new.
Whether it’s your crush, a guy you’ve just started dating, or even your long-term partner, texting him can make all the difference between him feeling connected (and attracted) to you, or feeling bored or detached.
Truthfully, you don’t need to send super-flirty one-liners or over-the-top messages for a guy to want you over text.
In fact, there is a delicate balance of intrigue, interest, and playfulness that you need to consistently hit to ensure he gets excited every time his phone vibrates with your name.
If you’re looking for a no-nonsense way to grab his attention, make him think about you constantly, and make him desperate to see you in person, then this post is for you.
Today, we’re going to discuss how to make a guy want you over text, without playing any mind games, but by simply using confidence, knowledge, and your feminine charm.
How To Make A Guy Want You Over Text
1. Start Off With Natural Confidence
Men can sense a lack of confidence a mile away, and it’s something they pick up on over text too.
If you feel confident in yourself, your words won’t come across as desperate or needy. On the other hand, if you feel like you’re not worth it or don’t have much to offer, this will translate into your text conversations.
Typing things like, “Why aren’t you responding to me?” or “Are you still interested?” will only drive him away. He’ll start to question if he’s done something wrong or if it’s you.
Instead, your messages need to reflect the fact that you are a woman who knows her value, is happy in her own skin, and can carry herself like it.
Not only is this attractive because it exudes confidence, but it also shows you’re independent, you have self-respect, and you’re not emotionally needy or clingy.
Related: How To Make A Guy Text You First
2. Keep the Messages Playful and Light
Men are attracted to women who make them feel good and have a positive experience with them.
This doesn’t mean your entire text conversation needs to be serious or that you need to skip flirting altogether.
Make sure to mix in humor, teasing, and just having fun with him between the serious conversations. Not only does it create playful banter, which builds sexual chemistry, but it also makes him want to keep the conversation going.
Example:
Instead of saying something bland like, “What are you up to?” try asking, “So, what’s the productivity today, or just another hour of memes like me?”
It’s a subtle change, but the small touch of humor and personal flair makes you more attractive over text.
3. Flirt with Hints
Flirting over text is a delicate balance between being too much and not enough. You don’t want to go overboard with sexual innuendo or be so vanilla that you might as well be his best friend.
Try to flirt with subtle hints throughout your conversation to let him know you’re interested while still keeping things playful.
Examples of Flirty Texts:
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“I had the weirdest dream about you last night…” (This is a good open-ended text that keeps him guessing and turns him on.)
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“If you were here, I’d totally steal your hoodie.”
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“Stop distracting me with those messages—I’m supposed to be working!”
4. Don’t Over-Text Him
One of the most common mistakes women make in the texting phase of a new relationship is over-texting.
If you’re always the one starting conversations, sending two texts when he only sent one, or writing paragraphs when he sent one-word texts, you’ll start to come across as needy and overbearing.
Try to mirror him instead.
If he texts in short and to-the-point messages, do the same. If he’s showing effort, match it with your own. Letting him miss you and have to wait for your next message makes it more exciting when it finally comes.
Related: How To Not Be A Dry Texter
5. Show Genuine Interest in Him
One of the best ways to make a guy want you is to show genuine interest in his life.
Guys don’t need to feel like they have to open up and tell you their life story, but they do want to feel like you care.
Instead of asking him generic questions like, “How was your day?” or “How is work going?” dig a little deeper.
Ask him about his favorite hobby, a personal goal he’s set for himself, or something exciting he’s looking forward to.
Example:
If he’s a sports fan, ask, “Are you watching the game tonight? Who are you rooting for?”
If he’s into music, text, “I just found this song that makes me think of you—should I send it?”
When you take an interest in him and things he’s actually passionate about, he’ll associate you with positivity and support in his life.
6. Use Voice Notes and Emojis
Text messaging can start to feel a little flat and lifeless when you’re just replying with basic texts back and forth.
Adding some personality with an occasional voice note (if you feel comfortable doing so) or even emojis and exclamation marks to show you’re being playful will make your texts much more enticing.
Example:
Send a quick voice note with a burst of laughter instead of typing out that you’re laughing.
It breaks up the monotony of pure text messaging and adds a little personality to the convo.
7. Leave a Little Mystery
Don’t feel like you need to give him everything or tell him what you’re doing every single moment of the day.
In fact, leaving a little mystery will actually make him more curious about you and eager to know more.
Instead of replying to, “What are you doing?” with, “Oh, nothing, just watching some Netflix,” try, “Hmm, something way more interesting and exciting than you.”
It makes him curious, creates the desired level of intrigue, and gets the conversation rolling again.
8. Compliment Him
Men love getting compliments, just like women do. But here’s the key: keep them authentic.
Instead of sticking to compliments about his looks, go for things that mean a lot to him.
Examples:
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“I love how driven and ambitious you are—I find it so inspiring.”
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“You always know how to make me laugh, even over text.”
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“You’re so much smarter than you give yourself credit for.”
Not only does this make him feel appreciated, but it also makes him feel seen in a way others might not.
Related: How to Make a Guy Feel Like You Are the Best
9. Send Him Little “Reminders”
If you want to make him think about you and never forget about you, find little ways to include him in your everyday thoughts and tasks.
Connecting him to you via mental “triggers” is a neuromarketing trick that can be extremely powerful and effective in making him want you, while also subconsciously associating you with happy emotions and memories.
Examples:
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“This song just randomly came on and all I could think of was you.”
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“I just walked by that burger place you always rave about—we should go together sometime.”
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“I saw someone wearing those sneakers you love, and I started cracking up.”
These small reminders, when done well, will make him feel like you’re always on his mind.
Related: How To Make A Guy Jealous And Feel Crazy About You
10. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Direct
Contrary to what most people think, sometimes the best way to make a guy want you is to be direct with your intentions.
If you like him, make it obvious.
If you want to see him, tell him.
Confidence and honesty are two of the sexiest things you can have.
Example:
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“I’m really enjoying our conversation—I’d love to see you this week if you’re free.”
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“Talking to you always brightens up my day.”
11. Add a Dash of Teasing
Playful teasing is a great way to spark sexual tension and keep the conversation going.
It also shows a level of comfort and confidence on your part, while building playful banter that all men are dying for.
Example:
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“Don’t tell me you’re one of those people who puts pineapple on pizza? That’s grounds for immediate divorce.”
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“I bet you can’t last more than a day without checking your phone every five seconds.”
Teasing him is fun, flirty, and gives him the perfect excuse to tease you back.
12. Know When to Leave a Conversation
If you want to learn how to make a guy want you over text, you need to know when to leave the conversation.
Ending a text at the right time actually makes him want more, instead of making him feel relieved that he doesn’t have to text you anymore.
Example:
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“You always make me laugh—I’ll see you tomorrow, mystery man.”
This makes him want to text you right back, instead of feeling drained.
13. Build Anticipation for IRL Time
The goal of texting should never be to stay in the texting phase for an extended period of time.
The point is to use text messaging as a tool for building real-life connection.
Building anticipation by dropping a few hints about how you want to meet him or test out his storytelling skills in person is a great way to keep the energy alive.
Examples:
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“You’re such a great storyteller—I feel like I need to experience it firsthand.”
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“We should totally test that theory out over coffee sometime.”
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“You need to prove that to me in real life—I don’t believe you yet.”
Final Thoughts
The best way to make a guy want you over text isn’t by playing mind games or trying to be something you’re not.
It’s simply a matter of hitting the right balance between being fun, flirty, and light-hearted, while still genuinely connecting with him in a way that makes him come back for more.
The keys are:
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Confidence
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Humor
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Interest
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Not Over-Texting
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A Hint of Mystery
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Sending IRL Reminders
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Text Messaging Boundaries
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Real-Life Connection
Once you master the art of text messaging with these components, you’ll not only find him wanting you over text, but you’ll also make him want to spend real-life time with you too.
And once you have that, the real connection can begin.
Grab your phone the next time you text him and keep all of this in mind. It’s not about saying perfect words—it’s about making him feel a certain way and making him want to experience more of you.
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