Are You Suffering from Touch Deprivation? Here’s What to Do

Have you ever gone days, weeks, or even longer without a hug, a hand on your shoulder, or a pat on the back — and then started to feel strangely empty, anxious, or disconnected?

If so, you might be one of the many people who suffer from something called touch deprivation, also known as skin hunger.

You might not realize it, but skin hunger is a real problem in the modern world. Our lives can become so wrapped up in technology and fast-paced schedules that we sometimes forget just how important the simple act of touching and being touched is for our physical and mental health.

In this post, I’ll show you what touch deprivation is, how it affects your body and brain, and — most importantly — how you can overcome it.

Let’s get to it.

What Is Touch Deprivation?

Touch deprivation, also known as skin hunger, refers to a state of physical and emotional craving for human touch. It’s the feeling of wanting contact — hugging, cuddling, holding hands, or even a simple pat on the back.

The science is clear: as human beings, our bodies need touch just as much as we need food, water, rest, and love. Your nervous system is hardwired to crave human contact, which is why babies who don’t receive enough touch can experience developmental delays or emotional issues later in life.

Touch helps regulate stress hormones and keeps you feeling calm and connected.

In fact, numerous studies show that physical touch is crucial for regulating emotions and maintaining social bonds.

When you go too long without that contact, it can lead to some surprising changes in your mood, health, and mental state.

The Science Behind Touch and Why It Matters

Physical touch releases oxytocin, a hormone often called the “love hormone.”

Oxytocin makes you feel safe, loved, and connected. It also has several benefits: it calms your nervous system, reduces cortisol (the stress hormone), and produces a general sense of well-being and relaxation. It even supports immune function and physical health.

On the other hand, the absence of touch triggers a kind of emotional hunger in your brain and body.

This can lead to:

Higher stress and anxiety
Loneliness and social withdrawal
Sleep problems
Low mood or mild depression
Emotional numbness or detachment

So, you can see how something that might seem simple — even “optional” — like human touch is actually critical to both your physical and mental health.

Without it, we begin to feel as though something is missing — a deep emotional hunger and craving for touch and comfort.

The Problem with Modern Life

The irony is that while our modern world is more “connected” than ever, many of us are going longer and longer without meaningful physical touch.

This became especially true during the COVID-19 pandemic. Not only did the virus encourage us to avoid hugging or being close to others, but the lifestyle changes that followed made it difficult to get the same level of support and human contact we once had.

The result? A sharp rise in depression, anxiety, insomnia, and loneliness across much of the world.

But this isn’t just a post-pandemic issue. Skin hunger has been increasing for years due to various cultural and technological shifts, such as:

Increased screen time and virtual connection
Remote work and online communication
Busy lives and lack of social time
Cultural or generational differences in physical affection
Social norms that discourage public touching
Breakups, long-distance relationships, or living alone
Age-related changes in touch sensitivity and opportunities

In modern life, it’s not just about having a partner or loved one nearby.

You can experience skin hunger even if you’re surrounded by people. If you spend your days around family, coworkers, or friends but without emotional or physical closeness, touch deprivation can still be very real.

The Psychology Behind Touch Hunger

Touch deprivation — or skin hunger — is both a psychological and physical craving for human contact.

Your brain and body need this contact to feel safe, loved, and connected. When you don’t get enough of it, your stress levels rise, and your emotional well-being suffers.

Skin hunger can have many causes, including:

Living alone or being single
Lack of close relationships or a partner
Spending excessive time online or on digital screens
Working from home
Busy schedules with little social time
Relocating or traveling away from close friends
Loneliness, social withdrawal, or rejection
Childhood neglect or abuse

The Physical Effects of Not Getting Enough Touch

Beyond the psychological impact, there are also clear physical consequences of touch deprivation.

Here’s what can happen when you don’t get enough skin contact:

Higher stress and anxiety: When your nervous system doesn’t receive the signals that you’re “safe,” your stress levels rise. Chronically high cortisol can lead to weight gain, poor immunity, and sleep problems.
Weakened immune system: Physical contact helps regulate inflammation and stress hormones, which supports your immune system and overall health.
Sleep problems: A lack of physical comfort and oxytocin can make it harder to relax and fall asleep.
Loneliness and social withdrawal: Skin hunger often increases feelings of loneliness, which can make you pull away even further from others.
Body image and self-esteem issues: Touch deprivation can make you feel disconnected from your body and less confident or comfortable in your own skin.

As you can see, the absence of touch affects both body and mind. Physical contact helps your nervous system feel safe, loved, and cared for.

Simple Ways to Fight Touch Hunger

The great news is that you don’t need to be in a relationship or surrounded by people to start easing touch hunger.

Here are some practical, science-backed ways to bring more physical comfort and connection into your life:

1. Practice Self-Touch and Self-Soothing

Take care of your body and reconnect with your skin. This is known as self-soothing — one of the easiest and most effective ways to reduce touch deprivation, even if you live alone.

Try:

Hugging yourself
Massaging your arms, shoulders, or legs
Applying lotion or oils mindfully
Taking a warm bath
Using a weighted blanket

These small actions can activate similar calming pathways in your brain as being touched by someone else.

2. Spend Time with Animals

Animals are one of the best sources of comforting touch. Petting a cat or dog can release oxytocin, reduce stress, and provide a sense of connection.

If you don’t have a pet, visit a friend who does or volunteer at an animal shelter.

3. Increase Physical Contact with Others

When it’s safe and appropriate, make an effort to increase physical affection with loved ones.

Hug your family and friends more often, hold hands with your partner, or engage in activities that involve gentle physical contact — such as partner dancing, yoga, or team sports.

Even small gestures like handshakes or pats on the back can help reduce feelings of isolation.

4. Try Professional Massage Therapy

Massage therapy is one of the most effective ways to relieve touch deprivation. A professional massage can help you relax, lower stress, and feel cared for in a safe and healthy way.

If cost is a concern, look for student clinics or community wellness centers that offer affordable sessions.

5. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness helps you reconnect with your body and the present moment — which can ease the emotional effects of touch deprivation.

Here are a few techniques to try:

Mindful walking: Pay attention to the sensations in your body as you move.
Body scan meditation: Focus on each part of your body, from head to toe, noticing any sensations.
Breathwork: Concentrate on the rhythm and feeling of your breath.
Yoga or partner yoga: These practices promote self-awareness and gentle body connection.
Tai Chi or Qigong: Slow, mindful movements help calm the body and mind.

You can also explore bodywork therapies such as massage, Reiki, or acupuncture to combine physical touch with mindfulness.

6. Ask for What You Need

Don’t be afraid to express your need for physical affection. Tell your friends, partner, or family members that you’d like more hugs or closeness.

You may be surprised at how many people feel the same way and are happy to reciprocate.

7. Build Emotional Connection

While touch is important, emotional closeness is just as essential for overall well-being.

Engage in meaningful conversations, spend quality time with others, and build emotional intimacy to help satisfy your craving for connection and belonging.

Final Thoughts

Overcoming touch hunger may be one of the most important things you can do to feel healthier, happier, and more grounded. Touch is a basic human need — one you absolutely deserve to have met.

If you’re struggling with the emotional or physical effects of skin hunger, take small, intentional steps today to reconnect — whether through self-care, pets, or reaching out to the people around you.

Your body and heart will thank you for it.

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ONWE DAMIAN

Onwe Damian Chukwuemeka is a relationship and self-improvement coach, as well as a final-year law student at the University of Calabar, Nigeria. He has distinguished himself in leadership and service, and has held key positions such as Deputy Director of Public Prosecution in the Students’ Union Government and Justice of the Malabor High Court, University of Calabar, Nigeria. Learn more about him

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