15 Ways to Ask Your Partner for Help
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15 Ways to Ask Your Partner for Help

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Asking for help from your partner can sometimes feel challenging, especially if you’re used to being independent or don’t want to burden them.

However, a healthy relationship is built on open communication and mutual support.

By learning to effectively ask your partner for assistance, you can strengthen your relationship and ensure that both of your needs are met.

Below are some tips that will make asking your partner for help easier for you.

How to ask your partner for help

1. Identify Your Needs

The first step in asking your partner for help is to identify what you need assistance with.

Take some time to reflect on the task at hand and determine exactly where you could use an extra set of hands or a fresh perspective. This will help you communicate your request more effectively.

2. Choose the Right Time

Timing is crucial when asking your partner for help. Avoid bringing it up when they are already stressed or preoccupied. Instead, wait for a moment when you both have the mental and emotional capacity to have an open discussion.

3. Use “I” Statements

When making your request, use “I” statements to express your needs and feelings. For example, “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed with the laundry this week. Would you be able to help me with a load or two?” This helps your partner understand your perspective without placing blame.

4. Be Specific

Rather than making a vague request, be as specific as possible about the help you need. Provide details about the task, the timeline, and any other relevant information. This will make it easier for your partner to understand how they can best assist you.

Related: How to make your partner feel heard

5. Offer Alternatives

If your partner is unable to help with the specific task you’ve requested, offer alternative ways they could provide support. This could include taking on a different chore, providing emotional encouragement, or helping you prioritize your responsibilities.

6. Express Gratitude

When your partner does help you, be sure to express your genuine gratitude. A simple “thank you” can go a long way in making them feel appreciated and reinforcing the importance of your request.

7. Compromise

If your partner is hesitant or unable to help with your request, be willing to compromise. Perhaps you can find a way to split the task or adjust the timeline to better suit both of your schedules and capabilities.

8. Acknowledge Their Needs

Remember that your partner also has their responsibilities and needs. Be mindful of their workload and emotional state when making a request, and be willing to adjust your expectations accordingly.

Related: How to make your wife feel wanted

9. Suggest a Collaborative Approach

Instead of simply asking your partner to take on a task, consider suggesting a collaborative approach. This could involve working together on the project or breaking it down into smaller, shared responsibilities.

10. Offer Reciprocation

If your partner is hesitant to help, offer to reciprocate the favor in the future. This can help them feel more comfortable with your request and reinforce the idea of a mutually supportive partnership.

11. Be Patient and Understanding

Your partner may not always be able to help immediately or in the way you’d prefer. Approach the situation with patience and understanding, and be willing to adjust your expectations as needed.

12. Communicate Openly

If you’re feeling frustrated or resentful because your partner hasn’t helped as much as you’d like, communicate those feelings openly and honestly. This can help prevent the issue from festering and allow you to find a resolution together.

13. Suggest a Check-in

If you find that you’re repeatedly asking your partner for help, suggest a regular check-in to assess the workload and ensure that both of your needs are being met. This can help prevent burnout and foster a sense of teamwork.

Related: Relationship check in questions for couples

14. Praise Efforts, Not Just Outcomes

When your partner does help, be sure to praise their efforts, not just the result. This can encourage them to continue offering support and make them feel valued for their contributions.

15. Lead by Example

If you want your partner to be more willing to ask for help, model that behavior yourself. Demonstrate that it’s okay to admit when you need assistance and that you’re there to support them as well.


Asking your partner for help can be a vulnerable and sometimes challenging experience, but it’s an essential part of maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

By following these 15 strategies, you can learn to communicate your needs effectively, strengthen your partnership, and ensure that both of your needs are met.

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How to Ask Your Partner for Help

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