How to Have A Soft Girl Era

Entering your “soft girl era” means more than just the clothes and makeup you wear — it’s also a state of mind and an approach to life in general.

If you’re looking to slow down and reconnect with yourself, it might be time to consider what it truly means to enter your own personal soft girl era.

Join me as we explore 10 simple ways to step into your own era of softness:

10 How to Have A Soft Girl Era

1. Soft Girl Mindset

First things first — your soft girl era begins in your mind. This isn’t about fragility or delicateness; it’s about choosing peace over drama. It’s learning to respond instead of react, and allowing yourself to feel your emotions without judgment.

Try these mindset shifts:

Speak to yourself with love and compassion. Replace “I should be doing more” with “I’m proud of how far I’ve come.”
Romanticize the little things. Your morning coffee, your skincare routine, the way the sunlight falls on your floor.
Set gentle boundaries. You don’t have to be involved in every disagreement or argument to be loved.

Above all, remember that softness is not a lack of strength — it’s strength expressed through grace and calm.

2. Create a Self-Care Routine

Self-care is at the heart of the soft girl aesthetic. However, it’s more than just face masks and bubble baths (though those are always fun). It’s about creating little rituals that make you feel more alive and present.

To help you make this a regular part of your life, try the following:

Slow down your mornings. Instead of scrolling through your phone, open your curtains, stretch, and enjoy a warm beverage.
Create a skincare ritual. Use products that make you feel special, even if they’re simple. Apply them with love, not haste.
Journal daily. Write down what you’re grateful for, how you’re feeling, or what you dream about.
Be kind to yourself. Rest when you’re tired, and nourish your body with foods that make you feel energized and good — not guilty.

Remember, a self-care routine should be about self-love, not self-discipline.

3. Dress the Part

Fashion is one of the most enjoyable parts of the soft girl aesthetic, but it’s less about following trends and more about feeling comfortable and confident in what you wear. Pastels, flowy fabrics, and delicate details are all soft girl essentials.

Classic soft girl staples include:

Flowy dresses and skirts
Cardigans and knit sweaters
Cute, feminine hair accessories (clips, bows, scrunchies)
Natural or dewy makeup looks
White sneakers or dainty flats

But here’s the secret: the best “soft girl” outfit is the one that feels authentically you. Even if you’re in jeans and a T-shirt, if your energy radiates peace and self-love, that’s a soft girl outfit.

4. Decorate & Organize Your Space

Your physical surroundings play a huge role in your energy and mood. Soft girls often spend time creating a beautiful, cozy environment that helps them stay grounded in their feminine energy.

Tips for creating a soft, feminine space:

Keep your environment clean but cozy. Declutter regularly — a cluttered space equals a cluttered mind.
Add soft textures. Think blankets, candles, fairy lights, and plush pillows.
Incorporate beauty in small ways. Fresh flowers, aesthetic books, framed art, or a dainty mirror.
Play calm music or nature sounds while you work or relax.

Your home should feel like a hug when you step inside — a place of peace, warmth, and comfort that’s uniquely you.

5. Nourish Your Body

Another part of soft girl living is treating your body with care and respect. This doesn’t mean striving for a specific image, but rather appreciating the body that’s your home.

Eat slowly and mindfully. Don’t rush your meals — enjoy them.
Drink water (add lemon or berries for a cute, aesthetic touch).
Move your body in joyful ways — take long walks in nature, do yoga, dance around your room, or stretch before bed.
Rest when you need to. You don’t have to “earn” rest.

Remember, the soft girl era isn’t about restriction or perfection — it’s about nourishment as an act of self-love.

6. Romanticize Life

The soft girl aesthetic is all about romanticizing the mundane. It’s about slowing down and taking the time to truly notice the world around you.

Here are some ways to start romanticizing your life:

Go on solo dates — visit a coffee shop, bookstore, or park.
Make playlists for your moods or the seasons.
Light a candle while you read or work.
Write love notes to yourself in your journal.
Decorate your food or drinks — add whipped cream, fresh fruit, or use cute straws and sprinkles.

The more joy you find in small, simple things, the richer your days will feel. Softness is all about being present.

7. Surround Yourself with the Right Energy

Your soft girl era isn’t just about what you do — it’s also about what and who you allow into your space. Guard your peace like it’s sacred (because it is).

Spend time with people who calm you instead of stirring up drama.
Limit exposure to negativity — toxic people, unnecessary conflict, or endless doomscrolling.
Fill your feed with inspiration: cozy home decor, affirmations, soft music, art, or uplifting creators.
Practice saying no gracefully. Saying no is an act of self-love when it protects your peace.

Your environment — both physical and emotional — should help you grow, not drain you.

8. Practice Gratitude & Reflection

Mindfulness and gratitude are key parts of living in your soft girl era. This doesn’t mean pretending everything is perfect, but learning to appreciate the good even in hard times.

Try these gratitude practices:

Write down three things you’re grateful for each day.
Reflect on what went well during your week and what you learned.
Acknowledge your growth, even if it’s subtle or slow.

The more you practice gratitude, the softer your life will feel. You’ll begin to see abundance instead of scarcity, and peace instead of pressure.

9. Create & Express Yourself

Soft girls are dreamers, artists, and romantics. Expressing yourself keeps your inner child alive and vibrant — whether through art, writing, music, or simple journaling.

Don’t judge yourself or your abilities. Draw even if it’s messy. Write poetry even if no one reads it. Redecorate your space, take aesthetic photos, or curate Pinterest boards that reflect your vibe.

Creativity brings softness because it allows your inner child to play again — freely and without judgment.

10. Guard Your Peace

Finally, perhaps the most important part of your soft girl era is realizing that you can be soft, gentle, and kind and still set boundaries and protect your peace. You can say no and still be nice. You can be gentle and still guard your heart.

To stay rooted in this mindset:

Don’t let others rush your healing or growth.
Don’t compare your softness to anyone else’s — your journey is your own.
Keep your heart open, but your standards high.
Remember: saying no to something that depletes you is saying yes to your peace.

Softness isn’t weakness — it’s your superpower.

Final Thoughts

Entering your own era of softness is a radical act in a world that glorifies hustle, stress, and burnout. It’s an act of rebellion in a culture that constantly tells you to go faster, push harder, and keep striving.

Choosing to slow down, to choose peace over drama and compassion over criticism, is a brave and beautiful decision.

There’s no single right way to live your soft girl era. Maybe your version means creating a cozy home and sipping tea by candlelight.

Or maybe it’s journaling after a workout and listening to jazz while cooking dinner. The point is to create a version of gentle living that feels authentic — not performative.

Your era of softness is waiting for you. Light that candle, put on your softest sweater, and just be.

Because softness isn’t a destination — it’s a state of being that begins the moment you allow yourself to breathe.

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ONWE DAMIAN

Onwe Damian Chukwuemeka is a relationship and self-improvement coach, as well as a final-year law student at the University of Calabar, Nigeria. He has distinguished himself in leadership and service, and has held key positions such as Deputy Director of Public Prosecution in the Students’ Union Government and Justice of the Malabor High Court, University of Calabar, Nigeria. Learn more about him

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