How to Manipulate a Narcissist To Be In Your Control

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Dealing with a narcissist can be incredibly challenging. Their manipulative tactics and self-centered behavior can leave you feeling helpless and drained. But what if there was a way to turn the tables and manipulate the narcissist instead?

Today, we will look into effective strategies and techniques to outsmart a narcissist. By understanding their vulnerabilities and utilizing specific approaches, you can regain control and protect yourself from their harmful influence.

Understanding the Narcissistic Mind

Before delving into manipulation techniques to use on Narcissists in order to control them, it’s crucial to grasp the complexities of narcissism.

Narcissists have an inflated ego and an immense sense of self-importance. They thrive on the attention and admiration they receive from others, known as narcissistic supply.

By comprehending their need for validation, we can leverage it to our advantage.

How to Manipulate a Narcissist

1. Project a Formidable Appearance

One way to manipulate a narcissist is by projecting a formidable appearance. Narcissists are less likely to target individuals who exude confidence and assertiveness.

By presenting yourself as someone who won’t tolerate manipulation, you create a barrier they are hesitant to cross. This can be achieved by maintaining a no-nonsense attitude and avoiding being easily swayed by their charm.

2. Create a Reliable Source of Narcissistic Supply

Narcissists rely on others for their narcissistic supply. By becoming a reliable source of validation and admiration, you can manipulate their behavior to your advantage. Here are some effective strategies:

i. Praise their Achievements or Accomplishments

Narcissists thrive on receiving praise and recognition for their achievements. By acknowledging their successes, you feed their ego and solidify your position as a valuable source of admiration. Remember to be genuine in your compliments to maintain credibility.

ii. Agree with their Opinions

Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe their opinions are superior. By consistently agreeing with their viewpoints, you stroke their ego and reinforce their belief in their own greatness. This can help you gain their favor and manipulate them in subtle ways.

iii. Admire their Physical Appearance, Intelligence, or other Traits

Narcissists take great pride in their physical appearance, intelligence, or other desirable traits. By expressing admiration for these qualities, you boost their self-esteem and make them more susceptible to your influence. However, be cautious not to overdo it, as insincerity can be detected.

iv. Respond to their Requests Immediately and Without Question

Narcissists expect immediate gratification and obedience from others. By fulfilling their requests promptly and without hesitation, you reinforce their belief in their own power and control.

This can give you leverage in future interactions and make it easier to manipulate their behavior.

Related: How to get out of a narcissistic relationship

v. Seek their Advice or Opinion

Narcissists love to feel important and knowledgeable. By seeking their advice or opinion, you make them feel valued and influential. This can create a sense of indebtedness, making them more likely to comply with your requests or suggestions.

vi. Support their Choices and Decisions

Narcissists thrive on being in control and having their decisions validated. By supporting their choices, even if you disagree, you bolster their confidence and reinforce their belief in their own judgment. This can make them more open to manipulation and influence.

vii. Allow them to Dominate Conversations and Make All the Decisions

Narcissists crave attention and control. By allowing them to dominate conversations and make all the decisions, you provide them with the validation they seek.

This can create an illusion of power for them while giving you the opportunity to steer the conversation or situation subtly.

viii. Acknowledge their Power and Status

Narcissists have an insatiable need for power and recognition. By acknowledging their power and status, you feed their ego and make them more receptive to your influence. This can be done through subtle compliments or expressions of admiration.

Related: How to hurt a Narcissist

ix. Agree with their Criticism of Others

Narcissists often criticize and belittle others to elevate themselves. By aligning yourself with their negative opinions, you strengthen the bond between you and the narcissist. This can create a sense of camaraderie and make them more susceptible to your suggestions or requests.

x. Give them Constant Attention and Admiration

Narcissists crave constant attention and validation. By showering them with attention and admiration, you become an indispensable source of narcissistic supply. This can make them dependent on your presence and more likely to comply with your desires.

Related: Things narcissists hate so much.

3. Remain Calm and Composed

Narcissists are skilled at provoking emotional reactions. By remaining calm and composed, you deny them the satisfaction of seeing you upset or agitated. This can help you maintain control of the situation and prevent them from manipulating your emotions.

4. Set Boundaries and Stick to Them

Narcissists will push your boundaries to test your limits. By setting clear boundaries and enforcing them consistently, you establish your independence and undermine their attempts at control. This can be challenging, but it is crucial for maintaining your own well-being.

5. Use Logical and Rational Arguments

Narcissists thrive on emotional manipulation. By presenting logical and rational arguments, you challenge their tactics and force them to engage on a more intellectual level. This can disrupt their usual patterns of manipulation and give you an advantage.

6. Maintain a Supportive Network

Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining. By surrounding yourself with a supportive network of friends and loved ones, you can gain perspective, emotional support, and guidance. This can help you stay grounded and resilient in the face of manipulation.

7. Practice Self-Care

Manipulation can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. By prioritizing self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, and hobbies, you nurture your own needs and strengthen your resilience. This can help you maintain a sense of balance and clarity when dealing with a narcissist.

Related: How to respond to a narcissist

8. Seeking Professional Help

Manipulating a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining endeavor. If you find yourself struggling to cope or feeling overwhelmed, it is essential to seek professional help.

Therapists, counselors, or support groups can provide valuable guidance, strategies, and emotional support as you navigate your relationship with a narcissist.


Manipulating a narcissist requires careful planning, persistence, and a deep understanding of their vulnerabilities.

By becoming a reliable source of narcissistic supply and employing effective manipulation techniques, you can regain control and protect yourself from their harmful influence.

Remember to prioritize self-care, seek support when needed, and maintain your boundaries. With patience and resilience, you can outsmart a narcissist and reclaim your power.

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