How to Get Out of a Narcissistic Relationship
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How to Get Out of a Narcissistic Relationship

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If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you will know how difficult it can be to find your way out of their manipulative hold. From gaslighting to guilt-tripping, they can use a variety of tactics to keep you in an unhealthy, one-sided relationship. In this post, I’m going to share with you, tips on how to get out of a narcissistic relationship.

What is narcissistic behavior?

A narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder characterized by a person having an inflated sense of self-importance, a strong need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.

People with this disorder require constant attention, and admiration from others, often manipulatively using others to fulfill their own needs.

Narcissists often belittle and criticize those around them, believing they are superior to most other people. They may also be deeply envious of others, believing they should have what others have. At the same time, they may also feel grandiose and entitled, requiring preferential treatment and expecting people to cater to their own needs.

How hard is it to end a relationship with a narcissist?

Ending a relationship with a narcissist is often an emotional and difficult process. The narcissist may be unwilling to accept the end of the relationship and may try to manipulate or guilt trip you into staying in the relationship.

It is important to be strong, firm, and clear in your decision, and to avoid any further contact with the individual to ensure that the relationship is truly over.

What are the stages of leaving a narcissist?

01. Awareness stage: Recognize the signs of narcissism in the relationship. Understand that you are not feeling appreciated, respected, or loved.

02. Understanding stage: Learn about narcissism and the behaviors associated with it. Take time to understand the cycle of abuse that you may be in, and the reasons behind it.

03. Acceptance stage: Accept that you are in an emotionally and mentally unhealthy relationship and that leaving is the best option.

04. Education stage: In this stage, you are required to speak to a therapist, counselor, or support group to gain insight into your situation. You can also read books and articles to learn from the experiences of others.

5. Planning stage: Make a plan for how you will leave the relationship. Set realistic expectations and be prepared for any possible consequences.

6. The stage of handling your emotions: Make sure that you take time to process your feelings and emotions. This is a difficult and painful process, so don’t be afraid to take a break if you need it.

7. The stage of taking action: Follow your plan and take the necessary steps to leave the relationship. This may involve difficult conversations and difficult decisions, but remember you are taking back control over your life.

8. The stage of moving on: Once you have left the relationship, focus on yourself and your own healing. This is a time to rediscover who you are and make plans for your future.

Is it dangerous to leave a narcissist?

Yes, it can be dangerous to leave a narcissist, as they can become angry and vulnerable when their need for attention and admiration is not met. But that shouldn’t stop you from leaving a relationship where you feel manipulated and controlled by your partner.

How to get out of a narcissistic relationship

1. Try to be independent of them

Encouraging your own independence is the key to leaving any toxic relationship, especially with a narcissist.

One of the things Narcissists hate is to see their victim being independent of them. They want you to always lean to the for support so that they can continue to manipulate you, but to break off from them, you need to be independent in all ramifications, especially emotionally and financially.

Stop leaning on them for emotional support or affection, and try to be your own boss when it comes to financing. This will help you take care of yourself and move out of a narcissistic relationship.

Related: Signs you are dating an abusive man

2. Set boundaries for them

You cannot let go of a narcissist or make them leave you alone if you don’t have any boundaries on the ground. You need to set boundaries for yourself and make them realize you don’t deserve to be treated badly.

If you are not sure of how to set boundaries in a relationship, refer to this my previous post about how to set healthy boundaries in a relationship.

3. Avoid communicating with them

Leaving a narcissist is all about ending everything that connects you with them. For example, phone calls, text messages, or physical contact with them.

When you have finally decided to leave a narcissist, endeavor to stop communicating with them. It is even necessary to state it in the boundary you will set for yourself.

Keeping contact with them will not allow you to detach emotionally from a narcissist. So, is important you avoid all forms of communication with them when you have finally moved away.

4. It’s time to focus on yourself

We all know what it’s like to date a narcissist. It takes time to eventually find your true self again and leave a normal life.

So, learn to give yourself the necessary support to feel better. You can reach out to a few trusted friends for emotional support and affection during this period until you finally recuperate.

5. Do not give up on love yet

It is easier to give up on love when you are just coming out of a relationship with a narcissist. Love is not something anyone should give up on. The best thing is to find the right person to be with. That is why you must pay attention to these early red signs in a relationship.

Therefore, do not be afraid to search for love again. You might be lucky this time and end up with a good partner.

5 Things to never do after breaking up with a narcissist

01. Don’t get in touch with them

If there is one thing you shouldn’t do after ending a relationship with a narcissist is to keep communicating with them. Getting in touch with them will not allow you to heal emotionally, hence you will still go back to them.

So, don’t contact your narcissist ex-partner. Don’t text, call, email, or message them. Do not attempt to win them back, engage in emotional blackmail, or use any form of manipulation in order to get them to talk to you.

02. Don’t play mind games

Do not engage in any games when it comes to your relationship with the narcissist. It is important to remember that narcissists’ power lies in their ability to control and manipulate you. Don’t participate in their game; it will only cause further pain and damage your self-esteem.

03. Don’t make an effort to stay in contact with mutual friends

Although it can be hard to resist the temptation of staying in contact with mutual friends, it is important to do so to show that the relationship is really over. Do not try to please your Narcissist’s friends just to make sure they are not thinking badly of you.

04. Don’t lash out in anger

Try to remain calm and take some time to think before responding. Keeping a level head will help you make healthier decisions which will benefit you in the long run.

05. Don’t talk badly about them in public

Even if you have negative feelings towards the narcissist, avoid airing your grievances in public. This will only make you look bad and give the narcissist more power.

People also ask:

How do you emotionally detach from a narcissist?

To detach yourself psychologically from a narcissist, you need to create an emotional boundary and create a safe space for yourself. To do this, you must stop leaning on them for support or affection, cut off communications with them, and recognize that you are in a relationship with someone that will not be able to give you the kind of connection or support that you may need.

What narcissist does at the end of a relationship

At the end of a relationship, Narcissists try to isolate their partner or cut off contact entirely, making it easier for them to move on and look back fondly on their relationship. They may also go on a charm offensive, attempting to prove to the world that they are unaffected by the end of the relationship and are still a desirable person.

What to say to a Narcissist when you break up with him

“I appreciate the time we have spent together, but I have come to realize that it’s best for both of us if we move on and pursue individual interests. This isn’t working for me anymore.”

“I know that I can’t get through to you, but I hope that you understand why this had to happen. I think it’s ultimately the best thing for both of us.”

“The relationship between us isn’t progressing in a healthy way. I know it’s difficult, but I think it’s time for us to part.”

“I’m sorry, but I need to put my own needs before what you want from me. This is something I need to do for myself.”

“I know this isn’t easy to accept, but it’s important for me to move on and prioritize my own well-being. That’s why I have to end this.”

Final thought

The journey of finding true love can be tough. Sometimes, you end up with people who use and manipulate you, but you have the right to stay or get out of such a relationship.

If the relationship you are into does not add value to your life, neither does it ring joy to you, the first way to ending it is to decide to end it. Make up your mind and leave. You are the best driver of your life. Every other person is a passenger in your life. Therefore, drive it in whichever direction you want.

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