Is Monogamy Realistic in This Day and Age?

With social media taking over our digital landscape, the question is: is monogamy realistic? This question is prompted by research indicating that apps such as TikTok and Instagram reels are causing
people’s attention span to shorten; always on the lookout for the night video high, if you will, and never satisfied. If this is the case for general life, why is it not realistic to use the same analogy for how we will perceive our partners?


It seems that monogamy has been taught and expected of us since time began according to religion and has been the societal norm ever since, while some cultures and religions don’t see this is in the world of men because women are expected to love and appreciate one man till death.


The question arises: is monogamy realistic in today’s society? Within the article, we will discuss all areas of this topic in the hope that you can establish if monogamy is for you.

Is monogamy realistic


What is Monogamy?


A relationship characterized by monogamy involves only one partner at a time, as opposed to several. Although it’s typically both, a monogamous relationship can be sexual or emotional.


Nowadays, monogamy is common in relationships and a well-sought-after relationship type. However, some people find it difficult to maintain monogamy, even if they only want to be with one partner. Infidelity, separation, breakups, and divorce may result from this.


Research on animals has suggested that monogamous behaviors may be associated with specific genes. This could imply that humans have evolved to value monogamy and have searched for a single partner to spend the majority of their lives with.

However, these terms may also refer to less conventional arrangements, like an open relationship, in which one or both parties have other romantic or sexual partners and are not monogamous. Since “exclusivity” implies that both partners are seeing only one other, it might be a more accurate term than
“monogamy.”


Adjectives such as “faithful” or “loyal” can be used to describe a monogamous partner who has not betrayed their partner. While unfaithfulness might not be specifically down to not wanting
monogamous relationships or things such as polyamorous relationships, there are hundreds of reasons why someone might break that trust. Still, insecurities tend to be a big one.

Monogamous marriage


Is Monogamy Realistic?


As mentioned before, the modern world is built around religious constructs that are outdated, whether we choose to acknowledge them or not. The three largest religions around the world Christianity, Islam, and Judaism—all promote marriage and childbearing in their teachings. This concept is outdated in terms of the fact that we, as human beings, live longer than we did when these principles were first introduced.

While they were in relationships for 20-30 years, it could be 60-plus years. This is a large figure and I am not saying people are not capable of loving each other for that long and you can call me delusional but I want nothing more than to be with my current partner for 60 years. Is it realistic for both parties? People are constantly changing; your interests and hobbies might adapt and you might not go a lot further to live with whoever you want.

I believe that in some cases, where people love each other and work hard to make their relationship work, it could prove that monogamy is realistic, but that is on the basis that everyone finds their person and has the maturity to work through times of miscommunication, raising children and just crazy life in general.

Life is a unique experience and while you cannot control your partner to do everything you do or have the same opinions and morals as you, things can happen that you never planned on and essentially force you away.


The concept of marriage seems outdated and even in a culture that celebrates individualism and independence, it is considered taboo to reach a certain age without getting married.


Naturally, women are impacted by this social construct far more than men are. Men are typically referred to as “eligible bachelors,” while single women are viewed as “old maids.” I’m not saying marriage and a lifetime of commitment are bad things; I’m just saying that they shouldn’t be
expected.


As is customary in nearly every Westernized culture, getting married in your 20s entails committing to more than 50 years of monogamy. Although it may seem incredible to have been married for fifty years, it’s crucial to keep in mind that this is a feat rather than the standard. It
shows that monogamous relationships are lusted for but aren’t even seen as achievable by
society.


Approximately half of all marriages terminate in divorce, and the likelihood of divorce increases with each subsequent marriage. Mississippi has the nation’s ninth-highest divorce rate despite
having higher-than-average rates of religious practice. I have a question: Given that marriage only results in happiness about half the time, why do we, as a society, force marriage on young
people?

Although most marriages end, we are usually shocked when they do. The fact that less than one-third of Americans over the age of 15 have never been married is, in my opinion, a more startling statistic. And why do so many marriages end in divorce? The response is straightforward: monogamy is not as practical as people believe.


Love is a complicated and beautiful thing but when it comes to finding a partner, people might not always go for love. Some factors can contribute to the divorce rate, like marrying for money or marrying out of fear.

This is an important factor to consider when debating whether monogamy is realistic. Some people view picking their partners as a business deal or as picking something like a new fluffy loungewear set; you pick it because you feel safe and comfortable.

Monogamy


Final Thoughts

Whether monogamy is realistic in today’s world is complex and multifaceted. With societal constructs evolving and individual expectations shifting, the traditional concept of lifelong monogamy faces scrutiny. The changing landscape of relationships has been influenced by changing values, the impact of social media, and the longevity of human life.


While monogamy has been deeply ingrained in cultural and religious teachings, its practicality in contemporary society is under scrutiny. The idea that humans have evolved to value monogamy
based on genetic studies is juxtaposed against the reality of modern relationships, which often face challenges like changing interests, evolving personalities, and unexpected life events.


The societal pressure to conform to the norms of monogamous marriage, especially at a young age, clashes with the high divorce rates observed. Despite the aspiration for lifelong monogamy,
statistics show that a significant portion of marriages end in divorce, raising questions about the practicality of this societal expectation.


Factors like marrying for reasons other than genuine love, societal pressure, and shifting personal values contribute to the debate about the realism of monogamy. The emphasis on individualism and the evolving dynamics of relationships challenge the notion that monogamy is
a universally achievable or desirable goal.


Ultimately, the discussion around the realism of monogamy is deeply personal and subjective. While some find success and fulfillment in monogamous relationships, others navigate
alternative relationship structures that better align with their values and circumstances.

The evolving nature of human connections invites ongoing reflection and adaptation, allowing individuals to explore and define what works best for them in the realm of relationships.

Lucy Couser