Can you ever stop loving someone if you truly loved them?
The early stage of every healthy relationship is so exciting. During this period, you tend to focus more on your partner’s good qualities.
If anyone ever told you that you were going to break up with your partner, you wouldn’t have believed, it because you thought you’ve found your soulmate.
During this period of honeymoon, you’re probably not thinking about when or how to end the relationship.
You are probably overwhelmed by your partner’s appearance; how cute he/she is, the lovely text messages you receive, their sweet voice, etc.
Now that the honeymoon is over, your feelings are beginning to fade away.
Maybe you’ve discovered that all that glitters is not gold.
Related: How to forget about someone you love
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Can You Ever Stop Loving Someone?
There is no definitive answer to this question as everyone experiences love differently. While some people may be able to stop loving someone relatively easily, others may find it much more difficult. Ultimately, it depends on the individual and the circumstances surrounding the relationship.
True love never dies. Although you may cease to love someone, you can’t just get rid of the feelings overnight. It will take some time to completely forget them and move on. For instance, some ex falls in love over again even after getting married.
It is not because they can’t forget each other. But because the memories of their past relationship still remain in their hearts.
It is only those who have fallen deeply in love will testify about how hard it is to fall out of love.
Unrequited love hurts. It pains when you fall in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way you feel about them.
You make them your priority, but at last, you discover that they don’t have your best interest at heart. So, how do you stop loving them?
The first thing you should do is to believe that he/she does not deserve your love.
One who doesn’t value you will never love you back.
If you like, stop loving him/her and then start caring for them again, they don’t mind.
They will rather end up treating you badly by cheating on you, disrespecting you, and equally abusing you.
So, learn to distance yourself from him/her by withholding your affection.
It is better to walk away from people who don’t deserve your love than to remain in a toxic relationship.
Love is never by force. It ought to be given and equally received.
In all these, remember we are designed to fall out of love.
And then, if the relationship is healthy and both people understand what real love is about, we fall back in love, deeper than before, says Sheryl Paul, M.A., a Psychology Counselor from the Pacifica Graduate Institute.
It is this deeper connection that makes it difficult for us to forget someone we truly love.
How to stop loving someone you don’t want to love anymore
1. Distance Yourself
The first way to unlove someone is to distance yourself from them. You can learn to distance yourself from your partner or ex by doing the followings:
- Stop contacting them on the phone.
- Stop visiting them
- Don’t give them a place in your heart anymore.
For instance, assuming the person you’re trying to forget and stop caring for, chats with you each time you come online, stops replying to his/her texts, or returns their call. Learn how to start snubbing him/her.
I have used this method of snubbing several times on different people and it really helped me to distance myself from fake friends.
So, if you want to stop being in love with someone you love, distance yourself from them.
2. Learn to move on
Make up your mind to forget everything about your partner or ex and start a new life.
If you still have their photograph, it is time to throw them away or burn them to ashes. Try to get rid of their memories (flashback)
One of the reasons why we find it difficult to fall out of love with someone we love is because we have not made up our minds to move on with our life.
You’re still waiting to see if your partner will change.
If it’s your ex, you still have hope that your ex will eventually come back.
It doesn’t work that way. If you are not getting what you want in a relationship and you’ve tried your possible best to resolve everything but to no avail, then, it’s time to move on with your life.
3. Stop Showing Concern
When you stop showing someone how much you care for them, you have suddenly stopped caring for them.
To love is to show concern, to be compassionate, and partake in other people’s sufferings.
So, if you still show concern for your boyfriend/girlfriend or ex by giving them your attention, you will never completely stop being in love with them.
The best thing to do is to stop caring for them. Develop an ‘I don’t care attitude towards them.
For instance, you normally get him or her some gifts on their day, or flowers on Valentine’s day, it’s time to stop it. Henceforth, withhold your affection from him/her.
4. Stop making sacrifices for them:
Love is all about sacrifice. You cannot love without making sacrifices for your loved ones.
So, to put an end to the love you have for your partner, stop making sacrifices for him/her.
If you have been giving them your time as part of your sacrifice for them, then it’s time to withhold it.
6. Find a New Partner
Finding a new partner is mainly for those who want to stop being in love with someone they can’t have.
To completely cease to love your Crush or someone you can’t have, make new friends, or find yourself a new lover.
Start a new relationship and socialize with friends who will make you happy and help you forget everything about your Ex or Crush.
6. Start loving yourself
To stop caring for someone, you must learn to start loving yourself. Start focusing on yourself and forget everything about your ex or your partner.
To some, it is very easy for them to love others, but quite difficult for them to love themselves.
Loving yourself first is not really a sign of selfishness. It is something you really need to do first before you can be able to love others.
If you have tried to unlove someone but to no avail, then start practicing how to love and focus on yourself.
Related: How to focus on yourself
To forget someone you love does not happen overnight. With constant practice of the above-mentioned points, you will learn to stop caring for someone who doesn’t deserve to be in your life.