How to deal with Jealousy in a Relationship
Jealousy ruins a Relationship.
It is an emotional problem often caused by fear of losing a loved one.
When jealousy enters into a Relationship, it first of all brings insecurity, fear, anger, suspicion and resentment in the life of your partner.
When you begin to experience things like- being unnecessarily angry with your partner, it means jealousy has penetrated into your relationship.
As time goes on, you begin to complain or start being nagging to your partner.
Dating a Jealous partner is like living in the same roof with a nagging wife or husband.
Jealousy creates unnecessary suspicion. For instance, your partner will always get upset anytime he/she sees you talking to the opposite sex.
No healthy relationship can survive if jealousy finally comes in.
One of the dangers of jealousy in relationships is that it destroys a relationship.
When it creeps in, it first of all bring suspicion as I have mentioned earlier and after that, unnecessary quarrels.
If this continues, the relationship will likely not last longer.
Let’s look at the signs of insecurity in a Relationship.
Signs of Jealousy in a Relationship
Jealousy manifests in the following ways:
1. Unnecessary Suspicion:
In one of William Shakespeare’s books titled “Othello” we saw how Iago successfully made the Moor, Othello became suspicious of his innocent wife by planting the seed of jealousy in him.
The first thing that happens when jealousy enters into a relationship is that suspicion comes in. And when that happens, it curtails trust (reduces trust).
Can any Relationship survive without trust? Definitely ‘NO’.
2. Unnecessary Anger:
Another signs of jealousy in a Relationship is when your partner gets unnecessarily angry when he/she sees you with the opposite sex.
Maybe you just met or saw a long time friend, on the process of exchanging greetings or hugging each other as old time friends, you turned around only to see your partner frowning at you out of anger, it is an example of jealousy.
Jealousy is not really bad. After all, no one would like to loose his/her boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband to another person.
The main reason why people (couples) get jealous is out of love for their partner.
You dearly love your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend and wouldn’t like another person to snatch them away from you.
But does it mean that love is jealous? or how come they are contradictory to each other since one of the attributes of love is that it is not jealous and am now saying that couples get jealous out of love for their partner.?
Signs of a Jealous Partner in a Relationship
Well, there is a difference between being jealous of someone maybe for their achievements and getting jealous because you love someone.
When you get jealous of someone because of their achievements, it is as a result of envy. But when you get jealous of your partner or lover, it is as a result of love.
Why? because you’re afraid to lose him/her. But when this feelings of jealousy is not properly handled it becomes a problem in a relationship. And when this problem begins, it creates unnecessary anger in the life of your partner.
When jealousy creeps in, fear comes along.
It is this fear that makes your partner to start being nagging. In other words, they complain about every little thing you. It is a sign of fear and fear is a sign of insecurity in a relationship.
Another indication of a jealous lover is oversensitiveness.
Jealousy can make your partner monitor you at all time.
Every now and then, they are checking your phone, monitoring those tagging you on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.
They are all symptoms of jealousy in most relationships.
5. Low Self-esteem:
Low self-esteem contributes to jealousy in relationships.
When one develops this feeling of inferiority complex in him/her, he/she will automatically become a jealous lover.
For instance, a partner with low self-esteem will never be happy when he/she sees his/her partner with the opposite sex. He/she may be thinking that they are not qualified to be your partner maybe as a result of their background, educational qualification, etc.
When this happens, jealousy comes in.
How to stop being jealous in a Relationship
Having known how jealousy manifests in a relationship, lets quickly look at the remedy to this green eye monster, jealousy.
Below are the various ways to deal with jealousy or a jealous lover. You will stop being jealous if you practice the following tips:
- Develop Trust in your Relationship:
Developing trust is very essential if you must stop being jealous in a relationship.
Learn to trust your partner. Don’t doubt his/her love or faithfulness to you.
When you trust your partner you can never feel unsecured in your relationship. Fear is a sign of insecurity and insecurity amounts to jealousy.
So, cast away every fear or suspicion around you and learn to trust your partner.
Here are the various ways to build trust in your Relationship.
- Develop Your Self-esteem:
Another way to handle jealousy in your relationship is to develop your self-esteem.
Stop feeling inferior to your partner. See him/her (your partner) as equal and you will have nothing to be afraid of (jealous of) in your relationship.
Even if your partner’s educational qualification is higher than yours, don’t worry yourself.
After all, if he/she didn’t like you in the first place they wouldn’t have come for you. So, to overcome jealousy, develop high self-esteem but never you intimidate your partner.
Learn to love yourself and don’t underestimate yourself.
How to overcome Jealousy in a Relationship
- Be Productive:
95% of Jealous partners or lovers are often people who have time to monitor the activities of their partner.
Refuse to be idle. Idleness contributes to 90% of causes of jealousy.
Although a jealous lover is already a jealous lover. Whether he/she is idle or not, that feelings of jealousy will always manifest.
But assuming you go to work in the morning and return in the evening, you don’t cling to your partner often, don’t you think the level of jealousy in you will reduce even if you’re a jealous lover?
I don’t think jealousy is inborn. It comes and goes. If you allow it into your life, it will definitely control you.
- Work on your Emotions:
If you really want to stop being insecure, then you have to work on your emotion.
Don’t allow your emotions to control you.
When jealousy comes in, kick it off. Don’t allow it to take over your life because it is capable of destroying your relationship.
Being jealous in a Relationship is a normal thing every couple or lovers experience.
Acting Jealously in a relationship is a sign of love. But when it is over done, it becomes unhealthy for such relationship.
Jealousy is a green eye monster no one will ever allow to ruin his/her relationship. But unfortunately, many couples are suffering from this emotional problem, jealousy.
The signs mentioned above, are the the indications of insecurity in a relationship.
If you notice any of the signs discussed above in your life, simply apply the solutions I mentioned earlier in your life and get ride of this emotional problem.
Remember, it may not go out immediately, but with time you will surely overcome it (jealousy).
How helpful is this article to you? I would like to hear from you in the comment box below.