Sexual intimacy is one of the most satisfying experiences in any romantic relationship. It is both an intensely physical and emotional experience that many people enjoy.
During this time, most women focus on more than just the physical act. In many cases, a woman’s mind is preoccupied with different thoughts and feelings that usually have nothing to do with the act itself.
For some women, what is happening on an emotional, psychological, and sometimes even a social level can have more of an impact on how they experience intimacy than just physical pleasure alone.
If you are wondering what women think when they are “getting it on” or “getting it off,” you are not alone.
There are many different thoughts, emotions, and concerns that run through the minds of most women while they are engaging in an intimate act.
While every woman is different and has her own experience with physical intimacy, here are 9 of the most common things that most women think about while they are “getting it on.”
10 Things Every Woman Thinks About When Getting It On
1. Do You Want Me?
One of the most important things for a woman to know is that she is desired and wanted by her partner. This is a need that is characteristic of every woman—the need to feel attractive, special, appreciated, and sexy.
A woman will never feel this during sex if her partner does not show her in some way. It can be done with words or, more importantly, through actions.
Every touch, every look, and every movement during sex is important and affects how a woman feels about herself at that moment.
A woman wants to feel special during sex, and no physical intimacy without emotional value is fulfilling for anyone. It’s important to remember that a woman also needs these feelings outside of the bedroom. You should not be shy about expressing affection—otherwise, you will drive her away.
Related: What Physical Intimacy Really Means to a Woman
2. How Do I Look?
Appearance is one of the aspects that often worries women. She may have thoughts about her appearance in bed, especially if she is dissatisfied with some aspect of her body. This issue is complex, as, unfortunately, women today are under constant pressure to look beautiful, sexy, and thin.
It can make a woman self-conscious about her stomach, thighs, extra pounds, and more. This is quite normal and nothing to be ashamed of, as such thoughts occur with almost every woman.
In some cases, women may forget about their appearance issues when they’re in the moment, while others may struggle with serious body dysmorphia. You can help in this situation by remembering the first point and showing her affection.
Related: What Does Hyper Sexualization Of Women Mean In Relationships?
3. Am I Making Him Happy?
For most women, sex is also a chance to please their partner and make him satisfied, fulfilled, and happy. She may have many thoughts about whether her partner is satisfied, whether he’s getting what he needs, and whether he likes what she’s doing. Many women are naturally caring and nurturing, which is why sex for them isn’t just about their own pleasure, but also about their partner’s satisfaction.
Many women experience a constant fear of not being able to meet their partner’s needs in bed. The ability to properly read his body language and vocal expressions will help her know everything is fine, allowing her to relax and not doubt herself, especially if he is vocal during sex.
Related: 150 Sexy Texts For Her To Drive Her Wild
4. What If I Don’t Orgasm?
The lack of orgasm or difficulty achieving one is another source of anxiety for many women. Not all women experience orgasm during sex, and some worry about their performance and whether it happened. They may feel that without an orgasm, they have failed, which is the wrong approach.
Orgasms are overrated in sex, and not all women have them for the reasons listed in the previous two points. It may take time to understand that orgasm is not a measure of success in sex. A woman can be disturbed by thoughts that her partner doesn’t value her or has a different opinion about what’s happening in bed.
5. Do I Really Want This?
Occasionally, a woman may have negative or hesitant thoughts during sex, questioning whether she truly wants sex or is doing it just to please her partner. She may also feel she is doing it out of a sense of obligation. It’s important to understand the nuances and reasons behind desire, as not all motivations are the same.
Reasons for wanting sex may include: a strong emotional connection, visible desire from the woman, physical attraction, and the wish for closeness with her partner. However, she may also feel pressure or a sense of obligation. If a woman cannot immediately determine the reason for wanting sex, she may start to think about it.
Related: How To Survive A Sexless Relationship
6. What Will We Do Next?
After the main event, many women wonder if their partner will feel closer to them or want to stay with them afterward. This is especially common in casual relationships or relationships where emotional closeness is lacking.
Women often think about whether they will feel emotionally connected afterward, or if they’ll be kissed and held. While this may annoy some men, for women, this question is serious. They want to be sure they’re not left feeling lonely after intimacy.
7. Is He Into Me or Just Into Sex?
A woman often questions the nature and seriousness of her partner’s feelings. Does he see and value her as a person, not just as a body for intimacy? This question may arise if the relationship is new or if there’s no long-term commitment.
A woman will check whether her partner is genuinely interested in her during sex and if he cares about her needs and desires. If a partner listens to her, pays attention, and takes her seriously, it shows that she is valued. This is especially important when the man is not just a lover but a potential life partner.
Related: 15 Signs a Woman is Sexually Attracted to You
8. How Does It Feel?
The sensations a woman experiences during sex are one of the most important aspects. During intimacy, she will focus on her physical sensations. Is it pleasurable? Is she comfortable in the position? Does she feel any tension, or are there issues with the partner?
Women try to focus on their sensations, match their breath with their movements, and ensure their comfort. If she is uncomfortable for any reason, it will distract her from the emotional connection. In such cases, it’s essential to pause and discuss what’s wrong.
9. Am I Safe?
A woman wants to know she is in a safe and comfortable environment when making love. These thoughts may be subtle or overt, but they are always present. Does she feel at ease with her partner? Is there any pressure or, conversely, a lack of it?
It is vital for a woman to feel that her boundaries and limits are respected during sex and that she won’t be taken for granted. Communication, consent, and respect play significant roles in ensuring she feels secure and respected.
10. Who Else?
This final point may not be as important, but it still exists. Often, a woman may wonder how her partner would make love to another woman, a celebrity, or even an ex. This thought can arise out of curiosity, as she tries to understand her sexuality and preferences in bed.
Women may also think about others if the situation has become boring or uninteresting. This doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to change partners, but it may indicate a need for novelty. If a woman frequently thinks about another man, it may be worth considering whether changes are needed in the relationship.
Final Thoughts
Sexuality is deeply personal, and everyone feels and thinks about it differently. The 10 thoughts listed above are common to many women, but it doesn’t mean every woman experiences these thoughts in this order or way. It all depends on the relationship’s nature, emotional closeness, and past experiences.
What makes a woman unique is how she experiences intimacy. By understanding the thoughts she may have in bed, you can better navigate the nuances and needs of your partner, facilitating a deeper connection. As always, sexual matters should be built on respect, care, and complete understanding between partners.
Save the pin for later

- 20 Fun Christmas Things to Do Alone - 02/11/2025
- 40 Money Journal Prompts For Couples - 01/11/2025
- 5 Financial Mistakes Couples Should Avoid - 01/11/2025