Dating a guy who controls what you do and how you live your life can be very bad. Read on to discover the signs that tell you have a controlling boyfriend.
Who is a controlling boyfriend?
A controlling boyfriend is a partner who tries to dominate, manipulate, or intimidate you in a relationship. He does this by threatening to break up with you when you don’t agree with him, by being nagging, or by trying to manipulate you to do certain things you don’t want to do.
Most times, we don’t realize that our partner is going to be controlling in the relationship. This is as a result of how the relationship started. For example, he or she may be calm and loving at the beginning. This first impression makes it difficult to dictate a controlling partner.
But as time goes on, you begin to notice that they are the ones giving orders on what you should and shouldn’t do in the relationship. It is a sign of a controlling partner in a relationship.
A controlling boyfriend manipulates through emotional abuse and physical abuse. For instance, he displays a nagging attitude, criticizes you, isolates you from your friends, etc.
These controlling behaviors manifest in the form of expectations by compelling you to cater to their needs and be subjected to them at all times.
“Controlling people often prey upon those they’re closest to, taking advantage of others’ introversion, submissive tendencies, or simple good faith,” says Yesh Sewdayal.
A controlling boyfriend often executes such behaviors as a result of insecurity. He is simply afraid of losing you. On the other side, some boyfriends control their girlfriend just to show their masculinity (qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men. For instance, strength)
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Signs of a Controlling Boyfriend.
1. He’s always nagging:
The first sign of a controlling boyfriend is that he always wants everything done now. He likes quarreling and arguing with you. When he does this, he’s trying to compel you to do things that will favor him and displease yourself.
So, if you ever find yourself trying to do things just to make your boyfriend happy but displease yourself, it is a sign your guy is controlling you.
2. He isolates you from your friends:
A boyfriend that controls always isolates you from your friends. He tells you who to associate with, what to do, and what you shouldn’t do. He discourages your friends from visiting you because of his toxic attitude whenever they’re around.
3. You are always wrong and apologizing
A controlling guy is always on the defensive. He never apologizes or appreciates your efforts. In fact, he is always right (Mr Perfect). You are always wrong in his sight and you end up apologizing even when you’ve done nothing wrong.
A boyfriend who wants to be the head of a relationship often turns their fault on you. All he wants is to make you feel like you’re not doing it right, you are not being committed in the relationship, or may even make you feel like you’re a bad girlfriend who is not empathetic enough.
4. He threatens you
If your boyfriend always threatens to break up with you if you don’t comply with him, then he is controlling you.
When he wants you to do something, and you feel like what he’s telling you to do is wrong, he will threaten to leave the relationship if you don’t comply.
5. You don’t make decisions for yourself
A controlling boyfriend does not allow you to stand up for yourself. For instance, you always seek permission from him before you do anything. This clearly shows you are subject to his command.
He may sound protective of you, but he is indirectly controlling you.
6. He disregards your privacy
Another sign of a controlling boyfriend is that he does not have regard for your privacy. If he always tries to know who you are chatting with or tries to stop you from associating with your friends, he is controlling you.
Another way a controlling boyfriend manipulates you is that he does not take permission from you before accessing your phone. He checks your phone to read your messages or chat, he monitors you to know who called you, who you’re discussing with, etc. He always spams. All these are signs your boyfriend is controlling you.
7. He makes himself the center of attention:
Another sign of a controlling boyfriend is that he makes himself the certain of attention in the relationship.
A dominant boyfriend wants to be seen as the most important person in the relationship. He wants you to realize that you can do nothing without him. He wants you to make him your priority.
8. He forces you to do certain things
A boyfriend who controls will force you to speak or act in a certain way. Most times, he exaggerates events in his own favor. Anytime you go out without him, then be ready to answer all his questions.
9. He abuses you
A controlling Bf executes his controlling behavior through sexual, emotional, or any kind of physical abuse. You feel drained after being together. The controlling man is most times toxic.
Are you confused about a toxic partner? Here are the signs you’re in a toxic relationship.
10. His love is conditional
He promises to do something for you if you do another thing in return for him. Such love is conditional, and it is one of the tricks, controlling people use to manipulate their partner.
How to deal with a controlling Boyfriend
The best way to deal with a controlling boyfriend is to confront him.
Face the problem with courage. Let him know that you are not happy with the way he’s treating you. While confronting him, be careful with your words.
Don’t use offensive words on him as that may result in a fight. If he fails to listen to you, walk away from the relationship if you can no longer cope with the situation. It is better to be single and happy than to be in a bad relationship.
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