Having a godly dating relationship as a Christian should be the target of every believer. The way you approach dating as a Christian should be different from how unbelievers date. The purpose of this post is to give you some tips on how to date as a Christian, let you know what God says about dating, and some biblical dating boundaries to abide by.
The modern world of dating has become so vast that you can find love with your smartphone in the comfort of your home. Whether you are about to start online dating or the traditional way of meeting people (dating), here is some Christian dating advice to help you have a godly date. All you need is to abide by these Christian dating rules in order to have a godly relationship.
Is dating a sin as a Christian?
Christians are permitted to date without involving in any form of sexual activity in their relationship before marriage. This is the type of dating God wants from his children and it is never a sin before him. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
Having a boyfriend or a girlfriend as a Christian is not a sin, but engaging in premarital sex and other activities that pollutes your mind and your spiritual entity is a sin before God. For example, sexting and engaging in all manner of filthy communication is ungodly before God. Ephesians 4:29. Your relationship should draw you closer to God and not pull you away from him.
Therefore, if your boyfriend or girlfriend causes you to commit sin, end the relationship. The most painful thing about most sexual relationships is that they don’t end in marriage. So, what will be your gain after defiling yourself, and you end up being dumped by your partner?
When should I start dating as a Christian?
A Christian should start dating when they see someone they love and are also ready for a relationship with the mindset of getting married at last. Dating without being ready for love can lead you to immoral acts if your faith is not rooted in Christ. That is why you find most Christians messing up before marriage.
Coming to online dating, a Christian has the right to engage in internet dating but should think of meeting each other only when they know they are ready for love.
What does God says about dating?
Christians in relationships are not allowed to approach dating as the world does. God did not in any way condemn dating, rather, he admonished Christians to avoid sexual relationships before marriage. 1 Cor. 6:13, 18 and 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-5. Also, He encouraged believers to avoid dating non-Christians. 2 Cor. 6:14.
Other types of people God warns us from dating includes:
- People who claim to be Christians, but do not live by it. 1 Cor. 5:11
- People with a hot temper. Proverbs 22: 24
What is allowed in Christian dating?
1. You are allowed to express love to your partner
Unmarried Christians are allowed to express love to their partner but not as unbelievers do. For example, you can send your partner love letters, gifts on Valentine’s day or their birthday, but do not use sex as a means of expressing your affection for him or her.
2. You are allowed to hang out with your partner
There is nothing wrong with hanging out with your significant other, or with their friends. The bible did not condemn that. But avoid going to places that will make you compromise your Christian faith. For instance, avoid going to nightclubs and other places that will pollute you. In everything you do, let it be to the glory of God.
How should Christians approach dating?
Christians in relationships should approach dating with a godly mindset and abstain from any immoral act (sex before marriage) that will make them compromise their Christian faith, and maintain purity in order to have a godly relationship.
As a believer, you should build your relationship on the word of God, set godly boundaries for yourself, and focus more on how to strengthen your faith and that of your partner.
How to have a godly dating relationship as a Christian
Below are some Christian dating rules to abide by. The following tips will guide you on how to approach dating as a Christian and have a godly relationship.
How to date as a Christian
1. Set godly boundaries for yourself
Set some biblical dating boundaries to abide by. Setting boundaries in a relationship is not only necessary for you as a Christian, for everyone in a relationship. One of the benefits of drawing some no-go areas in your relationship is that it will help you to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. Therefore, set boundaries around your emotional intimacy with your partner.
Point out those things that are against your Christian faith, and make sure you always keep them in check. For instance, you should state clearly that you don’t want heavy kissing if you should kiss each other at all, no romancing and filthy communication between the both of you.
2. Avoid sexual relation before marriage
One of the instructions of God to Christians dating before marriage is that they should abstain from sexual immorality, as this wages war against the soul. 1 Peter 2: 11, 1 Cor. 6: 18.
So, one thing you should do while dating is to avoid having sex with your partner before marriage. Sex is important for a relationship, but not to you as an unmarried Christian. Pagans may not see anything wrong with having sex before marriage, but as someone who has been sanctified and are willing to please God, you should abstain from it.
3. Focus on strengthening your faith and that of your partner
Your love life will improve if you can help each other grow in faith and the knowledge of Christ.
As you go out to socialize with friends, eat and drink, also spend time together reading the bible and praying for your relationship. Edify each other by the words that come out of your mouth. Always remind each other that you are Christians and shouldn’t date like the world does. This will help to strengthen your faith and that of your partner too.
4. Do not expect your partner to be perfect
Unrealistic expectations can ruin your relationship. As a born-again Christian, you shouldn’t expect your partner to be perfect. This is a major mistake I see a lot of Christians make. Why do you expect your significant other to be blameless whereas you are not perfect yourself?
I have come to realize that there is one ideology holding most Christians from finding love. And that belief is thinking that the right person for you will be perfect in all ramifications. But that is not true.
No one is perfect. So, do not be too quick to conclude that your partner is not the right person sent from God simply because they make mistakes, or have some personality traits you don’t like.
5. Focus more on knowing each other before getting married
Even if you got a revelation directly from God, that this person is your other half, you shouldn’t be in a haste to get married before knowing each other better.
Let’s look at this illustration. When God told the Israelites that He is taking them to the promised land, he didn’t tell them that there is a war on the way to fight. Likewise, when God shows you a man or a woman to marry, he expects you to date each other before jumping into marriage.
A lot of Christians today are not enjoying their marriages because they ignored what is required of them. God is a God of principles. Therefore, do not be in a haste to get married to each other even if you already know that he or she is the right person for you. Rather, spend some time studying each other. It will help you to have a long-lasting relationship.
6. Do not forget who you are
Most Christians suddenly change immediately after they start a new relationship. You shouldn’t be like that. It is hypocrisy. Your relationship shouldn’t make you sin, rather, it should draw you closer to God.
Always be yourself and do not compromise your faith just to please your partner. If your partner causes you to commit sin, end the relationship. It is better to please God than to become His enemy while trying to please a man.
7. Avoid dating someone who doesn’t share the same Christian belief as you.
The bible admonished us to date fellow Christians and not be equally yoked with unbelievers. 2 Cor. 6: 14. Dating someone who hates Christian beliefs and is not ready to become one is a way of pulling yourself away from the faith.
God told the Israelites in 1 Kings 11:12 and Deuteronomy 7: 3″not to marry people from other nations” that they will cause them to turn away from Him. The same thing is applicable to us, the believers. Do not date someone who doesn’t share the same Christian belief as you. If your unbelieving partner is not willing to start attending church, leave him or her (if you are not yet married to them).
You may say “I will convert him or her.” But there are a lot of Christians who lost their faith with this same ideology of converting a pagan.
If you are already dating an unbeliever, do not feel bad. Here is what the bible says about that, in the book of 1 Cor. 7: 13- 14 (KJV) “And the woman, which hath a husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.”
8. Do not live together with your partner until you are married to them
Many people live together with their partner even before getting married. But as a Christian, you shouldn’t practice such a life style. It is not only a dishonor to you, but also to the body of Christ.
The bible stated in Genesis 2 : 24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” It didn’t say boyfriend or girlfriend.
Therefore, do not pack into a man’s house until your wedding day.
9. Avoid excessive drinking on a date
As we all know, not all Christians abstain from alcoholic drinks (I’m not judging anyone). If you are a Christian who drinks alcohol, avoid taking it too much anytime you go on a date. It can cause you to do things you wouldn’t like to do if you were in your right senses. For instance, you may end up having sex with your partner. And as you know, sex before marriage is a sin before God. If possible, try taking soft drinks anytime you go on a date.
10. Be honest with your partner
The foundation of every godly relationship is built with honesty. Never you lie to your partner no matter what happens between you. Even if he or she is not as spiritual as you are, remain faithful and honest. Honesty is the best policy they say.
The bible admonished us to always speak the truth in love, according to Ephesians 4:15. Therefore, put on honesty like a breastplate.
Read also: What to do when someone lies to you in a relationship.
Conclusion
Christians in relationships ought to make a difference and stand as a light to other people. God expects us to maintain holiness and righteousness even in our marriages, friendships and other types of relationships.
The key point you should consider in this post is that, you shouldn’t date the way pagans do.
Avoid having sexual relationship before marriage. It is not only a sin before God, but it wages war against your soul.
In summary:
Here’s how to approach dating as a christian
- Set godly boundaries for yourself in a relationship
- Avoid sexual relationship before marriage
- Focus on strengthening your faith and that of your partner
- Do not expect your partner to be perfect
- Focus more on knowing each other before getting married
- Do not forget who you are
- Avoid dating someone who doesn’t share the same christian belief with you
- Do not live together with your partner until you are married to them
- Avoid excessive drinking on a date
- Be honest with your partner.
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