Seeking the approval or consent of others that our deeds, beliefs, or feelings are righteous or desirable is known as seeking their validation.
This can manifest in a variety of ways, such as the need to constantly be assured that we are making the correct choices, the desire for praise or comments from others, or basing our sense of value on the opinions of others around us.
Although it is a typical and frequently natural human instinct to seek approval from others, this behavior may also be destructive if it is taken too far. We risk losing touch with our sense of identity and our personal values and beliefs when we depend too heavily on the approval of others.
Additionally, we could become overly reliant on other people’s perspectives and find it difficult to decide what to do or move on without their approval.
Even though the desire to seek approval from others may be natural, doing so can be detrimental to your confidence and sense of self-worth.
Related: How to be more confident.
Focusing on your own ideals and goals and having faith in your own judgment are two ways to stop looking to other people for approval. This might make you feel more comfortable and confident and lessen the desire to seek approval from others.
You can also lessen your need for external validation by cultivating self-compassion and learning to accept yourself for who you are. It might also be advantageous to take part in things that make you feel content and happy, such as hobbies, physical activity, or artistic endeavors.
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Reasons for seeking approval from others
Here are a few prevalent reasons for wanting approval from others:
- A need for acceptance and belonging: To feel accepted and be a part of a group or community, many people look to other people for approval. This can give them a sense of belonging and inclusion in something greater than themselves.
- A desire to be valued and appreciated: People frequently look for outside validation in order to feel valued and appreciated for who they are and what they accomplish. People’s self-esteem can increase and they can feel good about themselves when they receive compliments and recognition.
- Need for reassurance or confirmation: Getting approval from others can be a means to get support for one’s own opinions and deeds. People may feel more assured and secure about their choices as a result of this.
- Lack of self-confidence or self-esteem: Some people may look to other people for approval as a bid to make up for a lack of either. They could be doubtful of their talents and of themselves, and they might look for affirmation in order to improve their self-image.
- Fear of criticism or rejection: For some people, looking for reassurance from others may be a way to stay away from condemnation or rejection. They may be afraid of being criticized or rejected by others and seek affirmation to feel accepted and approved of.
Related: How to handle rejection
- A need for direction or support: Lastly, people may look to others for approval in order to get direction or support when making decisions. They might be unsure of the best course of action and look to others for approval to guide them in making decisions that are best for them.
Advantages of stopping to seek validation from others
The benefits of giving up on getting approval from others are numerous. Among the main advantages are:
- Increased confidence and self-worth: When you stop looking to other people for approval, you are better able to trust your own judgment and decisions, which can make you feel more certain and self-confident.
- Improved happiness and fulfillment in life: You can improve your sense of fulfillment and satisfaction with life by concentrating on your own values and goals and partaking in things that make you happy. Increased happiness and well-being may result from this.
- Enhanced emotional and mental well-being: Your general mental and emotional health can be improved by ceasing to look to other people for approval. This can also assist to lessen tension and worry.
- Stronger, more significant bonds: You might be able to build more meaningful relationships with those close to you when you aren’t preoccupied with getting approval from others. This is due to the fact that you are able to be more honest and authentic in your interactions, which can be more gratifying for both of you.
Disadvantages of seeking validation from others
- Destruction of confidence and self-worth. Your self-esteem and confidence may suffer if you continuously seek approval from others but are unsuccessful in doing so. This can make you feel unworthy or inadequate.
- Lack of commitment to one’s ideals and objectives. When you seek approval from others, you could occasionally lose sight of your own ideals and aspirations and become more preoccupied with what other people think of you than with what is genuinely important to you.
- Relationships lacking in genuineness. Seeking approval from others might make you less honest in your interactions and connections because you’ll be more preoccupied with how they perceive you rather than being true to who you are.
- Personal ideals and convictions must be compromised. Seeking approval from others might occasionally lead you to renounce your own principles and convictions in an effort to appease them or fit in, which can be detrimental to your sense of identity and general well-being.
- Reliance on other people for happiness and contentment. When you rely extensively on getting approval from others, you risk becoming reliant on them for happiness and pleasure. This could lower your general well-being and make you more susceptible to unpleasant feelings and experiences.
How to stop seeking validation from others
You can quit looking to other people for approval through a variety of techniques. Examine the following suggestions:
1. Consider your own ideals and aspirations
Try to concentrate on what is important to you and what you want to accomplish in life rather than looking to others for approval. This can make you feel more assured and self-confident, and it can lessen your need for external approval.
2. Develop compassion for yourself
It can be very effective to lessen your desire for approval from others by learning to accept yourself as you are, especially your flaws. Try to be gentle and compassionate with yourself, and convince yourself that everyone makes bad decisions and has the potential for progress.
3. Engage in activities that fulfill you
Finding pursuits that make you happy and content, such as hobbies, physical activity, or artistic endeavors, might be a terrific approach to lessen your desire for approval from others. When you are doing something you enjoy, you could feel less reliant on other people for approval and fulfillment.
4. Choose your association wisely
Be in the company of uplifting, encouraging individuals. Last but not least, make an effort to associate yourself with people who appreciate and cherish you and who will assist you in your efforts to quit looking to other people for approval. These individuals can help you feel more confident and at ease by creating a pleasant and upbeat environment for you.
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