Do you find yourself constantly bending over backward for others, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness? Then, you are a people pleaser.
Who is a people pleaser?
People pleasers are typically very kind, caring individuals who want nothing more than to make everyone around them happy. While there’s nothing wrong with being nice, people pleasers often go above and beyond, to the point where they neglect their own needs.
If you’re a people pleaser, you may have a hard time saying no, even when you’re already stretched thin. You may also feel guilty when you do anything for yourself, thinking that you should always put others first.
Disadvantages of being a people pleaser
There are a few disadvantages of being a people pleaser. First, you may end up doing things you don’t really want to do. Second, you may not get your own needs met because you’re too busy trying to please others. Third, you may end up feeling resentful or used if you’re not careful. Finally, people pleasers often have a hard time saying “no” which can lead to them being taken advantage of.
If you’re ready to stop being a people pleaser, here are a few tips to get you started:
How to stop being a people pleaser
1. Learn to say no
One of the best ways to stop being a people pleaser is to start saying no to requests that you can’t or don’t want to grant. People pleasers find it difficult to be assertive and express how they feel. All you need to do is to work on your confidence. Try to be more confident to learn how to say ‘NO’ in unfavorable situations. That is only when you will learn how to stand up for yourself.
2. Set boundaries
Breaking forth from the problem of trying to impress everyone requires that you set boundaries for yourself. Start setting boundaries with the people in your life. Say no when you don’t want to do something, and don’t be afraid to disappoint others.
3. Put yourself first
If you want to stop trying to please others, you need to start putting yourself first. Stop trying to make others your priority whereas you are a priority yourself. Instead of thinking about how to make others happy and displease yourself, focus on how to meet your needs first, before others. Don’t sacrifice your happiness for someone else’s. Here is my previous post about how to love yourself first.
Related: How to focus on yourself
4. Don’t let others control you
People pleasers are often controlled and manipulated by others. Always try to resist any form of manipulation from anyone, especially your co-workers, friends, or loved ones.
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