Letting go of anger and resentment towards someone who hurt you is one of the hardest things we all face in life. “Forgive and forget” are easily said than done. But one thing you shouldn’t forget is that people will always hurt and make you feel bad. Most times, we forgive them, and at times we find it difficult to let go of the bitterness we have towards them.
Anger is a very powerful emotion in humans. This feeling is capable of making you do what you never planned to do. That is why, when you hold unto it, you will never feel and enjoy your true self. Of course, you know that an angry person is always unhappy. So, holding onto anger will take away your happiness, especially whenever you remember that person or sees them around.
Why is it so hard to let resentment go?
How deeply one is hurt, contributes to why we find it difficult to let go of bitterness towards someone who hurt us. Some offences are so deep that we find it hard to forgive until we have taken revenge.
Below are 5 things you can do today to let go of the anger and grudges you have towards someone who has wronged you. It can be your parents, your husband or wife, friends, co-worker, your boss, or anybody at all.
How To Let Go Of Anger And Resentment
1. Distract your mind from the source of your anger
Distracting your mind from who made you angry is the best way not to hold onto anger and resentment. You can do this by listening to music, watching movies, talking to a friend, or engaging in activities that will shift your mind away from that person.
For instance, instead of sitting at a place and thinking of how unfair you have been treated, just distract your mind by doing something else. Reflecting on the possible reasons why you were provoked won’t help. Rather, it will make you hold grudges and even think of the possible way to revenge.
2. Give yourself reasons why you should forgive them
I know you have a lot of reasons to be angry or not to forgive them. But if you want to stop being angry after being hurt, find good reasons why you should forgive and let go. You might decide to forgive because they are your parents, they’re your partner, or just to show them that they’re not capable of making you unhappy. No matter what your excuses are, find out why you need to pardon and let everything flip away.
3. Make their fault(s) known to them
The person you are angry with, may not even know that you are upset with them. So, why not tell them how unfair they have treated you? To do this first, you need to be assertive. Walk up to them and tell them their fault (if possible). Do not hold your anger to yourself. If you do, you will continue to feel bad and feel resentful toward that person.
4. Learn to relax your mind
When you are angry, your mind, thoughts, and even your body tend not to be at peace at that moment. So, the best way to release that anger is to relax your mind. Find a quiet place and refresh yourself.
For instance, if you are angry with a friend, your parents, or your partner, consider leaving that place you were provoked for some time alone. You can come back later when you might have waved off everything from your mind.
5. Express your feelings to a friend
Friends contribute so much to our lives. Sharing your deepest feelings with your closest friend can help you give up being angry with someone who has hurt you. Explain to your friend everything that just happened and how you feel. Saying it out will help you get some relief especially when your friend decides to cheer you up.
Getting rid of the bitterness and the anger you have towards someone doesn’t happen immediately. First, you need to make up your mind to forgive that person. That is the first step to letting go of anger. The bitter indignation you have towards the person you are angry with will never go until you have decided to forgive them.
So, even after adopting the five strategies, I listed above, if you fail to make up your mind to forgive, you will never get past anger and bitterness. Getting rid of anger towards someone comes only when you have forgiven the person. That is when your mind will relax again and you start having a normal feeling toward the person who has hurt you.
What are your own strategies for overcoming anger and resentment?
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