Identifying an abusive partner can be a little bit difficult, especially if you are just starting the relationship. But today, I shall be discussing the top 10 signs of an abusive man in a relationship, and what you should do if you are already dating such a guy.
An abusive relationship is a relationship in which your partner controls, manipulate, belittles, harms, or even tries to harm you, either consciously or unconsciously. It can be in the form of emotional abuse, physical, verbal, or even sexual abuse.
Most women with an abusive partner often mistake their partner’s toxic behaviors for love, especially when they are new in the relationship. For instance, a man who is extremely jealous in a relationship, can most times be misinterpreted as “true love.” But the fact is that jealousy is one of the early signs of an abuser in a relationship. So, the more you realize on time, the better for you.
Below are the ways in which you can identify a man who will likely be abusive in a relationship. Or if you are already in a relationship but want to figure out the tale signs of a man who is abusive, here are the characteristics of an abusive man in a relationship.
10 Signs of An Abusive Man
1. He controls your action
If you ever notice that your boyfriend or husband always forces certain decisions on you without allowing you to object to his plans, it is a sign he is an abusive man.
A man who abuses you or who will abuse a woman has some manipulating tactics he uses to control his partner. For example, he always makes you feel guilty anytime you turn down his request.
2. He threatens you
He always threatens to deal with you especially when you refuse to comply with him or agree with his plans or opinions. And most times, he ends up saying things like “all you need is me and all I want is you.” Therefore, you should stick to the relationship no matter what happens between us.
3. He is extremely jealous
An extremely jealous man is an abuser. Jealousy itself is a normal emotion anyone can have when they are in love. But being extremely jealous can affect how you view your partner, and certain actions you will likely take against them.
A man who always feels jealous anytime he sees you talking to the opposite sex is likely to burst out someday and beat the hell out of you. People who suffer from jealousy are often people with low self-esteem. And he may choose to overcome that inferiority complex someday by hitting or beating you.
Jealous people are simply afraid of losing you because they think they are not good enough for you.
4. He belittles you
A good romantic partner is not supposed to use derogatory remarks on their significant other. But an abusive man does the opposite.
He makes fun of your intelligence, and most times makes you feel unworthy of their affection. All of these are abusive attitudes you should observe early in a relationship.
5. He disregards your privacy
Having your privacy is your right and therefore, shouldn’t be denied of you.
A man who is likely to abuse you invades your privacy. He does whatever he likes and does not care about any boundaries you have set for yourself in the relationship.
He invades your privacy by interfering in your private life without your consent or permission. For example, he always accesses your social media account to read your messages without your permission.
If you are not yet married to each other, it is wrong. Even some married couples won’t tolerate this in their relationship.
You may not have experienced this, but there are some women out there, who are passing through this turmoil.
6. He is violent
A report shows that about 4. 8 million women in the United States experience intimate partner-related physical assaults. The physical abuse includes slapping, grabbing, pushing, hitting, pulling hair, kicking, and punching.
If you have ever experienced this with the guy you are dating or saw him treating his loved ones in this manner, it is a warning sign he is an abusive man. And this is just a mirror of what you will experience later in the relationship.
So, if he bullies you, do not take it for love. It is an early sign of an abuser.
7. He has too many expectations in a relationship
Having some expectations in a relationship is not bad. But too much of it can result in something else.
An abusive man expects too much in his relationship. And when those demands are not met, he becomes passive-aggressive to his partner.
8. He stalks you
It is reported that about 19.3 million women in the United States have been stalked by their partners.
Stalking is a form of harassment. “It is a pattern of repeated or unwanted attention, contact, or any other course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear,”
An abusive man creates fear in you. He makes you feel like something bad is going to happen to you if you end your relationship with him, or tell anyone how bad you feel about him.
9. He monitors your whereabouts
An abusive man is always curious to know your whereabouts. He always calls to know where you are, who you are with, and why you are with them. That is not even the issue. The worst part of it is that he isolates you from those friends without any reasonable explanation.
A good and responsible man ought to give you some space and allow you to do certain things or activities that fascinate you.
10. He criticizes you
Criticism is another way to identify an abusive man. He judges every action you take, the words you speak, and the people you associate with. Not only that, but he speaks ill of you. It is verbal abuse.
He always makes you feel like you are not living up to his expectations. And not only that, but he wants you to do things in his own ways and pattern.
What to do if your man is abusive in a relationship
Dating an abusive boyfriend or husband can affect your health. Even research proves that.
Below are the two things you should do if you are with a man that abuses you:
1. Get help
If the issue is getting out of hand, get help from the government of your country. They will be in a better position to help than ordinary persons.
For instance, in the US: http://www.thehotline.org/:The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233(SAFE) are there to help you.
For those in the UK, Women’s Aid 0808 2000 247: http://www.womensaid.org.uk/ are there to assist you.
In Australia, we have 1800Respect 1800 737 732: https://www.1800respect.org.au/ to help you. And worldwide, The International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies, http://www.hotpeachpages.net/ can assist you.
2. Outline some boundaries for yourself
Boundaries are necessary for maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. Therefore, consider setting some healthy boundaries for yourself and make sure you keep them in check.
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