Dating a Non-Affectionate Person? Here’s What To Do
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Dating a Non-Affectionate Person? Here’s What To Do

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Dating someone who isn’t affectionate? Falling in love is sweet, but only when you find a caring partner that makes you feel loved. But so frustrating when you are dating a partner who doesn’t show affection. Here’s what you should do when you discover that you are dating a non-affectionate person.

Love and intimacy are one of the most important aspects of every romantic relationship. Both men and women have what they crave most in relationships.

Women are known to be too emotional than men. That is why they want a man who will admire them, listen to them, and make them feel loved.

Men, on the other hand, are not that emotional. Only a few are caring enough to understand a woman’s feelings. But, it may not really be their fault. Some of them were not brought up to be affectionate. That is why they find it difficult to express love to their partner.

Today, I am going to share some secrets with you. These secrets will help you get more affection from your partner, especially when your needs are not being met.

A girl staring at her boyfriend for not being emotional with her

What causes a person to not be affectionate?

Most people are unaffectionate because of the way they grew up. A man or a woman, who was brought up in a home, where they have little or no experience with how to express love, will always struggle with affection. Other causes include stress, depression, and shyness (for people who hate public displays of affection).

That your partner does not show you enough love is not a sign they don’t love you. It may be that they are simply not used to it.

My mum used to tell me that I am emotionless. But with a series of teachings from her about how to treat a woman and understand her feelings, I was able to learn how to express love.

Love can be expressed in diverse ways. Kissing, hugging, holding hands, sending each other some sweet I love you notes, and buying your partner flowers, are, also, the various ways you can show them how much you care. Everyone wants to feel loved. And the more you express love to each other, the more intimate you will become.

Related: Signs an emotionally unavailable man is in Love with you

A girl quarreling with her boyfriend for being non expressive

Can a lack of affection ruin relationships?

Affection is an instrument of a long-lasting relationship. It helps couples or lovers to be more intimate with each other. Therefore, the absence of affection in a relationship brings dissatisfaction to either the man or the woman craving for it. And when this emotional need is often not being met, it becomes a deal-breaker in a relationship. In other words, a relationship cannot survive without affection.

Everyone has this undying desire to feel loved by others. Whether by your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, or husband. And when we fail to receive these warm feelings from our loved ones, we feel lonely and unloved.

That is why physical intimacy is needed for a lasting relationship.

A girl worried about her boyfriend not showing affection to her

How to deal with an unaffectionate partner

Below is how to date a non-affectionate person.

1. Make them realize how you feel

Good communication is the number one secret I have discovered about having a happy relationship. The more we learn to use it, the easier it becomes for us to resolve relationship problems.

Talk to your partner about how you feel and your need for physical intimacy. It is also necessary to point out those affectations you need from them. This will help them to know their areas of concentration, and try to improve them.

For instance, hugging, holding hands, especially when you are walking on the road, kissing, sending, and receiving love letters from each other, or even surprise gifts like flowers.

Read also: What women want most in a relationship.

2. Teach them how to be expressive

While it is good to discuss your feelings with your significant other, it is also necessary to show them some examples.

Start those things you want them to be doing. For instance, if you are the type that loves kissing or receiving a hug from them, then, you should consider reaching out first.

Continue doing that until they become used to it. It is then that they will realize, it is their responsibility to do so.

3. Be patient with them

Your partner will not change overnight. It may take some time for them to start being expressive.

Therefore, try not to criticize them, or be in haste to end the relationship. Give them some time, and don’t forget to continue teaching them.

You may not see the results as quickly as you want. But with some patience and tolerance, you will definitely see them change.

What if they were once affectionate but suddenly changed?

People change. It is part of human life.

If your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife, was once a caring and expressive person but suddenly changed, then you should figure out what really happened.

I suggest you ask them to know if you have done anything wrong, or that they are simply not interested in the relationship, anymore.

Don’t forget to exercise patience. But if you think they are already fed up with the relationship, then you should consider letting go.


Telling your partner that you need more physical affection can be a little stressful. But express your feelings and concern to them, and try not to criticize them.

Be understanding and compassionate with them, and make sure you are affectionate too. That is the only way to get more affection from your partner.

If your partner is emotionally distant, and you feel like they are not living up to your expectations, then, you should consider showing them some examples.

You can make an emotionally closed boyfriend start being expressive by teaching him those physical affections you need from him.

If you want him to start hugging or holding hands with you, then you should start it yourself, since he is not familiar with that. This will help him realize what your needs are in the relationship.

What is your experience with your unaffectionate partner? Share it with us in the comment section below.

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