Relationship problems are inevitable. You’re either responsible for those problems or your partner. What if you’re the root of the problems in your relationship, but have been blaming your partner for the whole thing? Are there ways to figure it out? Read on to discover the signs.
Human beings easily lay blame on others. Whether they’re at fault or not. It is in our DNA not to admit our mistakes. But this contributes to why most relationships fail. Below are the signs that tell you’re the one sabotaging your relationship.
If you discover any of these, it means you’re the toxic one and the real problem your relationship is facing. All you should do is adjust asap.
12 Signs you’re the real problem in your relationship
1. You never admit your mistakes
For a relationship to keep moving, one must be humble enough to realize and admit one’s mistakes and take the necessary actions.
Instead of admitting you’re wrong, you always try to shift the blame on your partner. This type of attitude impacts your relationship negatively. Pride destroys a relationship.
Rather than focusing on who is at fault, you should pay more attention to the necessary things needed to resolve those problems.
Stop blaming your partner for everything. Rather, learn to take responsibility for your actions.
2. You get mad over everything
You never get relaxed even for once. Rather, your mind keeps wandering and looking for faults in your significant other. This makes you passive-aggressive and will likely trigger a fight or quarrel between you and your partner.
For you to maintain a happy relationship, you must be willing to tolerate and compromise. You shouldn’t use every slightest opportunity to take revenge on your significant other. Maybe as a result of the mistake, they made in the past.
Instead of bringing the wounded Lion back to life, you should learn to forgive and let go of the past.
3. You avoid conflicts
There is no perfect relationship in the world. Conflicts and misunderstandings must arise. Instead of stonewalling your partner, confront those issues with good communication skills.
Do not give your partner the ‘silent treatment’ simply because you misunderstood each other. What makes your relationship healthy and stronger is your ability to resolve conflicts, even without the intervention of a third party.
Do not go to bed angry without resolving any issues you have with your significant other. Do not hide your feelings from him or her.
Read also: How to control your emotions in a relationship.
4. You expect too much from your partner
When you have too many expectations in a relationship, you will likely end up being disappointed when those needs are not met.
If you are the type that expects your partner to do everything for you, then you’re indirectly ruining your relationship without knowing it.
You expect him or her to apologize to you first, whenever you have a quarrel. You expect your significant other to be like your friends’ fiance or fiancee or even treat you like them.
5. You take heed of every piece of advice you receive from your friends
Our relationships move up and down as a result of the piece of advice we receive from friends. You should avoid listening to what everyone has to say about your relationship, as long as the relationship is not toxic.
Work on your relationship and make it look as you desire. Stop comparing it to that of your friends or colleagues. It will only bring dissatisfaction to you. Let them stop whispering to your ears.
6. You always feel insecure
The feelings of insecurity can make you stop trusting your significant other. And trust is necessary for any relationship to work.
Insecurity can make you accuse your partner of infidelity. Instead of feeling negative or insecure about your relationship, find out what triggers those feelings and deal with them.
Research shows that Insecurity brings negative behaviours, such as jealousy, paranoia, or anger.
Learn to trust your partner no matter the level of misunderstanding or issues that trigger you.
8. You don’t take ‘No’ for an answer
Couples do disagree with each other. So, stop expecting your partner to say ‘Yes’ to all your wishes or demands.
You always feel bad when your S.O objects or says ‘No’ to your demands. It shouldn’t be so. Always give room for them to disagree or argue with you without feeling bad about yourself.
9. You hardly apologize when you’re at fault
Saying ‘I’m sorry is a powerful word we hardly make use of. Stop feeling too significant to apologize to your partner.
For instance, most men hardly apologize to their women to avoid losing that masculinity in them. Likewise, most women. Stop thinking that your partner is inferior to you.
Here are the ways to apologize to someone you love.
10. You always bring in the past
No one likes dealing with someone who can’t let go of the past. Instead of reminding your S.O about their past life or mistakes, you should focus on the matter at hand.
Stop telling them about your ex or how lovely your past relationship looks. Learn to forget your past feelings, their past errors, or your previous relationship and move on.
Don’t keep reminding them about how they hurt you in the past if you’ve already settled the matter.
Related: Signs your marriage is over
11. You expect your relationship to be perfect
There is no perfect relationship or partner in the world. So, stop expecting your partner to be blameless whereas you are not.
Stop forcing them to change, whereas you’ve not changed yourself. We are bound to make mistakes as humans. But not to remain in our fallen state.
12. You place your own needs first
Avoid being so selfish that you don’t think about the needs of your significant other. Rather, you want to be the centre of attention and affection.
You don’t get satisfied with their gifts or affection. All these shows you’re the one creating problems in your relationship.
A relationship is healthy when it is mutual. You don’t have to be the only one benefiting from the relationship. But you should try and also make your S.O your priority. Place their needs in parallel with yours.