How to Stop Being Used by Men and Regain Your Self-Worth
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How to Stop Being Used by Men and Regain Your Self-Worth

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Have you ever felt taken advantage of in relationships? Do you feel like no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to get what you want or need out of them? If so, it’s time to learn how to stop being used by men.

It can be easy to fall into patterns of being taken advantage of, especially if you’re used to being treated as a “second-class citizen” in relationships. The good news is, there are certain steps you can take that can help you regain control and reclaim your self-worth.

In this article, we’ll look at specific strategies for stopping men from taking advantage of you. We’ll explore how to set boundaries and stick to them, discover what your non-negotiables are, and learn to recognize the signs of an unhealthy relationship.

With a clear-eyed understanding of the problem, you can create a healthier, more fulfilling environment for yourself and start to feel empowered.

You don’t have to feel helpless any longer. Let’s get started learning how to stop being used by men.

Related: Signs he doesn’t value you.

What does it mean to be used in a relationship?

Being used in a relationship means that one or both partners are taking something from the relationship without giving anything back. This could be in the form of physical and emotional support, finances, or other resources.

While there is usually an expectation of reciprocity in relationships, being used in a relationship is when one partner takes more than they give or takes advantage of the other partner’s resources and support without giving anything in return.

So, if you are in this type of relationship, then your partner is using you.

How do you know if you are being used by a man?

You will know a guy is using you by the way he treats you in the relationship. For example, he only reaches out to you when he needs something from you, he doesn’t value you nor make time for you. For more details, refer to my previous post about the signs a guy is using you.

How do you deal with being used by a man?

01. Take time to evaluate the situation

One of the ways to deal with being used by a man is to evaluate the situation. Pinpoint the exact reasons why you feel used and make sure you understand them fully.

Once you take stock of your feelings, decide if you want to remain in the relationship or if it’s time to make a change.

Making a change might mean confronting the man you are with, telling him how his behavior affects you and demanding better.

Taking a stand is sometimes the only way to make him take your feelings seriously. Ultimately, however, the decision rests with you.

02. Assess your feelings

Identify and acknowledge your feelings of hurt, anger, frustration, or any other related emotions. Allowing yourself to explore and feel your feelings will help you gain clarity and perspective.

3. Take responsibility for the situation.

Acknowledge the role you played in the dynamic and examine your own choices, decisions, and behavior.

4. Communicate your feelings.

Talk to the man about why you feel used and what it is that he did specifically that made you feel this way.

5. Ask for what you want

Clearly communicate to the man what you need from him in order to move forward and create an equitable, healthy relationship.

6. Focus on the future

Remind yourself that the past is in the past and that you have the power to create a different and healthier dynamic in the future.

7. Take care of yourself emotionally

Make sure you have a strong support network in place to help you process and make sense of your experiences. It could be a friend, a family member, or a mental health professional.

How to stop being used by men

1. Set boundaries in your relationship

One of the reasons why men take advantage of you is because you don’t have any boundaries guiding you in your relationship. Setting boundaries helps you to know when your partner has crossed their limit and what you should do next.

For example, if your boundary is that ‘no sex until marriage’ any man that is coming to date you should be aware of that and respect that boundary. But if you have no limit to what men can do to you in a relationship, they will always use you and dump you at last.

So, Make it clear to the men in your life that you will not tolerate behavior like this. Be firm and direct, and don’t let them take advantage of you.

If you are not sure of boundaries to set, here are examples of healthy relationship boundaries you should set for yourself.

2. Know what you want

Most girls are being used by men simply because they don’t know the type of men they want in their life. They settle for whichever one comes into their life.

So, if you want to stop being used by men, you must have an idea of what you want in a man and refuse to settle for less.

Related: Types of men you should date

3. Be assertive

Men will continue to use and dump you if they notice you are a shy type.

It is good to be shy around a guy you like but always say no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes. It will not only make guys respect your decisions but they will value you and not take advantage of you.

Related: How to be more confident

4. Always keep the boundaries in check

Even after following the above tips and you fail to check=mate the boundaries you have set for yourself, guys will still use you and dump you. So, is necessary to always monitor your boundaries to see if your partner has crossed the limit. If they do, remind them of your agreement at the beginning. If it continues, move on.

5. Try to be independent

It is easier for guys to take advantage of girls who are too clingy in a relationship than independent ones.

Instead of relying on a man to do everything for you, try to be independent, especially financially to earn that respect from men.

6. Do not appear needy or desperate for love

Men will continue to take you for granted if they realize you are desperate for love.

When you first enter into a relationship, try to not rush things. Play hard to get and make the man put in his best to get your attention. This will make him value you and not take advantage of you.

7. Take care of yourself

No matter what you think about yourself, you are the best version of yourself and you deserve a good man to take care of you. For that to happen, you need to first take proper care of yourself and understand that you deserve something better. Start practicing self-care and change the mentality you have about yourself. Value and take good care of yourself.

What to do when a guy is using you

The best thing to do when you realize a guy is using you is to confront him and make him understand that you know his plans and you are not going to tolerate certain behaviors from him. This will make him respect you and reconsider his steps.


Your journey to stop being used by men must start with a change in your mentality. By understanding your own worth and taking a stand on what you will and will not accept, you can send out a strong signal that you are not to be taken advantage of.

You must also express your needs clearly and be willing to walk away if you don’t get the respect you deserve.

Once you begin to show you won’t be taken for granted, men will be forced to think twice before attempting to use you.

As author Chad I. Morris puts it, “Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for because you are.” With these steps, you can take control of your life and never allow yourself to become a tool for someone else’s benefit.

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7 Tips on how to stop being used by men and regain your self-worth
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